Page 24 of My Orc Nanny

His hand, almost as wide as my back, stilled, and I could sense his confusion. This might be easier without looking at him.

“My ex wasn’t a…good father. You’ve probably figured that out. Benny…” I swallowed.“Benhas been conflicted for the last few years. I can tell he doesn’t know how to act.”

“He’s trying to be the man of the house,” came Aswan’s rumble. “He doesn’t know what that means, but it’s also causing him a lot of guilt when hedoesact like a kid. Goes out to play or has a meltdown or something.”

With a little groan, I knocked my head against Aswan’s chest, my own guilt threatening to swallow me whole. “If you can see it, it must be bad.”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time with him. Trying to teach him about what he’s interested in and guide him toward the right path.”

Oh God in Heaven. I squeezed my eyes shut. As if I couldn’t love this male any more, he goes and says something like?—

I gasped as I realized what I’d just thought.

Love?

I was in love with mynanny?

Well yeah. I mean, how could I not be?

“Hannah?”

“Thank you,” I choked, pushing myself away. “Thank you for being the male influence Benny—Benneeds.” Had my son’s name change been a result of Aswan’s gentle teaching? I looked away, ashamed. “I should have been?—”

“Enough?” he growled, grabbing my hand, refusing to let me leave the conversation. “Hannah, you work long hours at a demanding job. It’s no wonder you can’t beeverythingforeveryone. Look at me.”

Trying to wipe off the evidence of my tears, I did as he commanded, and was caught by his dark gaze.

No, not completely dark. In the center of his eyes, there was a spark of green.

“Hannah,you are enough.” He squeezed my hand, gently tugging me toward him. “Just you. You’re enough. But I’m here to help you too.”

“Thank you,” I sniffed, and as one of his arms tucked me against his chest, I whispered it again. “Thank you.”

“You’re a good mother, and it’s not your fault that your Mate isn’t around.”

“I mean, it kinda is,” I offered weakly. “Although I don’t like to think of him as my Mate.”

Aswan had stiffened slightly at my confession, and now slowly relaxed. “Good. I don’t like to think of him that way either. Why is his failure your fault?”

“Oh, he failed all on his own.” I took a long, shuddering breath, and figured it was time to share my embarrassing past. It was easier if I stared at the dark television, though, instead of at Aswan.

“I met Travis in college and got pregnant in my senior year. He was a year behind me, and when I graduated, he sort of just…stopped attending. At the time, I told myself it was because he needed to get a job and support me and Benny. Our parents pressured us into marrying, saying it would be for the best.”

“Was it?” Aswan rumbled, his hand on my lower back.

“I thought so at the time. But by the time Tova was born, I realizedIwas the one busting my butt to supporthim. Hecouldn’t seem to hold down a job, so I moved us here to be closer to my family. I thought maybe Dad’s connections could get Travis work.”

With a hum, Aswan shifted so both his arms were around me, his hands were cradling my back, and his chin was resting on my head. “Did it work?”

“No. But by then, my parents were helping with childcare and juggling responsibilities, and it didn’t matter so much that Travis was useless. As the kids grew, I was able to take on more responsibility at work, and I wasgood at it.” That fierce sense of pride hadn’t left me. “I realized I thought of Travis as just one more responsibility… And then the cops showed up.”

He stiffened around me and growled, “Because of him?”

I didn’t nod, because of how tightly he was holding me, anddangbut I liked it. I liked how protected he could make me feel.

“Travis had been using drugs for a while, but by then he’d starteddealingthem too. He was arrested, and I was mortified. It wasn’t until after he’d been in jail a few months that I started to feel guilty about being more embarrassed than empathetic.”

“Pathetic,” Aswan rumbled, repeating the last few syllables of the word I’d said. “You had no reason to be embarrassedorfeel bad for him because he was pathetic. What kind of male puts his Mate and kitlings in danger like that, for his own selfishness? He’d abandoned you long before.”

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