Page 25 of My Orc Nanny

Slowly, I straightened, the words echoing in my head.He’d abandoned you long before. “You’re right,” I breathed. “Hehad. I can’t even tell you that I hated him by then; I wasindifferent. It was difficult for the kids to understand what was happening, of course, but I guess we feltreliefto have him gone.”

Aswan was quiet for a long moment, and I could hear him doing the calculations. “Joshua?”

I sighed. “When Travis was released, he seemed like a changed man. He came back to Eastshore and got a job and swore he was going to hold it down. He was kind to Tova and seemed to really be trying with Benny. Poor Benny got his hopes up so far…and I guess I did too.”

He made a little noise of understanding, and I squeezed my eyes shut, glad I didn’t have to explain the details; about how Travis had sworn up and down he was going to be here for all of us, and how he was going to be loving and attentive.

He’d never been particularly good in bed, and right after I got pregnant for a third time, I realized the truth… “He might not have been dealing the drugs anymore, but he was still using them. I had Joshy, and our life got even more complicated.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” I snorted. “I told Travis I was done when Joshua was eleven months old. He convinced me—whining and begging—that he didn’t have anyplace left to go. Since he wouldn’t move out, I did. We still lived in the same house, but…separate lives.”

“You moved in with Joshua,” Aswan murmured. “Two years ago?”

“It took a year for me to finalize the divorce, and get full custody, before I could finally have him removed. It’s beenalmost a year since we’ve heard from him, thank God. The last I knew, he was in prison in another state.”

“But Hannah.” He shifted me so he could stare down at me. “He’s been gone a year. Why haven’t you moved back into your space? Taken it back?”

Shrugging, I stared at his chin, because it was somehow easier. “It didn’t feel like my space,” I whispered. “And besides, if I had, then there wouldn’t have been room foryou.”

When he exhaled, I felt his breath across my lips.

“Hannah…” he whispered, and I tipped my head back to finally meet his eyes.

The green spark had grown into a glow.

His hand rose to cup my head, his fingers reaching around to massage the base of my skull as the pad of his thumb brushed the tear streaks on my cheek.

“I am sorry you’ve lived such pain,dkaar.I am impressed with everything you’ve overcome. And although I don’t have any right to be, I am proud of your strength and resilience. ”

It was…

I whimpered, swaying in his arms.

It was what I needed to hear.

I’m proud of you.

It was something my mom had said to me right after the divorce, although I knew she didn’t understand why I hadn’t left Travis and moved in with her and Dad. But this wasmylife, andmyhouse, which I’d paid for. I wasn’tgoing to disrupt the kids because their father was a shitty human, and Mom hadn’t understood that.

But to hear those words now? Now, after years of struggling to come to terms with my life and my kids’ emotions? After seeing whatcouldbe possible with an emotionally available male in the house who not onlycared, but did everything he could to make our lives better?

It was just what I needed.

With another little whimper I surged upward, aiming for his mouth.

I didn’t miss.

Aswan froze for a heartbeat, his lips stiffening under mine, before he gave a low growl and tightened his hold on me. I melted against him as he took command of the kiss.

How could someone so large hold me so gently? And how could his lips fit so perfectly on mine? I thought his tusks would get in the way, but my mouth fit between them, and his tongue?—

Oh mygosh, his tongue was ridged!

How had I not realized that? In the three weeks I’d been around him, I hadn’t known his tongue was ridged. And thick and long and…I gave another whimper as he licked my upper lip, and my mouth opened to play with his.

My fingers curled around the cotton of his t-shirt, desperate to get closer. I could feel his heart pounding under my palms, and lower…lower, where my stomach pressed against his hips, I could feel something thick and hard andincrediblydelicious feeling.

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