Page 41 of My Orc Nanny

But I was ready for something else—someoneelse.

After I tucked in Tova, I hurried to the small hall bath I shared with the kids and rushed through my evening tasks. I wanted to look my best for what would happen, but also…Aswan had seen me at my worst. He’dhelpedme through my worst, and he still wanted me. Still thought I was worthy of being a Mate.

Taking a deep breath, I met my eyes in the mirror and cinched the belt of my bathrobe. Under it I wore nothing…and I assumed that would be enough of a hint.

You can do this

While I’d been putting the kids to sleep and preparing myself, Aswan had disappeared. The lights were off downstairs, and the kitchen was neat as a pin—as it had been since he’d come into our lives. He took care of us, took care ofme…and I wondered if it had become more than just a job to him.

Maybe I ought to go to sleep, ought to forget this…

There is a knowing.

No. IknewI was right, and I needed to prove it.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on his door. The room that had once been mine, the room where I’d slept the last two nights, wrapped in his arms.

Sooner than I expected, the door was yanked open, and I forgot what I’d come to say. Because in the few hours since I’d left his bed, I’d forgotten how beautiful Aswan was. He’d clearly just come from the shower—his hair was wet, touseled, and drops of water still speckled his shoulders. Apair of sweatpants, hastily pulled on, hung low on his hips… And I wanted to tug them further.

After what we shared this weekend, I shouldn’t have been surprised that Aswan could guess—or perhapsknow—my body’s reaction to his state of undress. I saw his nostrils flare, his lids lower slightly. His lips parted, and that beautiful tongue of his darted out to brush along his tusk.

“Dkaar?” his tone was husky. Needy.

“What does that mean?” I blurted. It hadn’t been what I wanted to ask, but at that moment, I was desperately close to throwing myself at him and needed a distraction. “You called me that before.”

He continued to watch me. “Beloved,” he finally admitted, his expression unchanged. “Dkaarmeansbeloved.”

Unable to help myself, my smile bloomed. “Beloved,” I whispered, and stepped into his room. The door closed behind me, but I don’t know which of us did it. “There is a knowing.”

Aswan reared back, as if I’d struck him. “What?” he rasped, his green eyes now wide.

“You said that earlier today. You said that when an orc finds his Mate, there is a knowing. You said his Mate will recognize the connection as well, and either accept or reject him. You said you justknow.”

He was backing away from me now, his body language wary. “I did. I mean, yes, I said that.”

I followed him. “You also told my mother that you’d found your Mate. But you hinted she’d rejected you.”

Finally, he halted, the backs of his knees hitting the footboard of the bed, and he looked down and away. As if he couldn’t meet my eyes? “I did,” he ground out.

Feeling strangely bold, I stepped up in front of him. “There is a knowing, Aswan.” I reached for his hand and lifted it, placing his palm on my chest. I felt him shudder, saw his eyes close. “I feel it too. Am I your Mate?”

Three heartbeats. Four. Six. Ten. We stood in silence, and the longer we stood there, the time measured in my pulse pounding against his palm, the more the dread pooled in my stomach.

Had I been wrong?

I watched his face for some hint, but his brows had drawn in, his jaw tight, his eyes moving beneath their lids, as if he was looking for an escape.

Was I wrong?

“Aswan?” I whispered desperately, hoping I wasn’t about to humiliate myself.

“Yes,” he finally rasped hoarsely. Those beautiful eyes with the incredible green glow, opened and met mine. “May the gods of the ancestors forgive me, Hannah, butyes.”

I felt his fingers tighten against my chest, and I pressed harder against his hand, keeping him there. “Why do your gods need to forgive you? You don’t want me to be your Mate?”

“I want you more than I want my next breath, Hannah.” The words sounded as if they’d been ripped from him. “I want to gather you and the kitlings in my arms and in myheart and keep you safe forever. But I cannot ask you to risk putting them—or yourself—through trauma again.”

I felt my heart, my chest, begin to cautiously expand, along with my smile. “And you think loving you will risk hurting us?”

---