Page 13 of Into the Dawn

I feel bad for her, longing to have a child, but the more I think about it, the faster that sympathy morphs into anger. My fingers curl into fists as I remember the plans we'd discussed late at night under the stars. We'd had it all figured out.

I would have been her new family. We could have had a child by now. That was all part of our plan. The land I bought has the perfect spot for a treehouse, backing into the forest where our cubs could run safely. Not that I can tell her about that now.

Before I know what I'm doing, I've followed her down the short, dark hallway and barged into her bedroom, a storm of emotions pushing me past the point of reason.

"All these years, Vanessa. You could have told me. You've chosen to remain childless, enduring their taunts, listening to their shit, and all of that isstillbetter than being with me? Better than even talking to me and trying to figure this out? I get that you might have decided you didn't want to be with me, but what the hell did I do that was so wrong that you couldn't even stand to see me?"

My voice sounds unnaturally loud and aggressive in her pretty and very quiet bedroom. In the small space, I notice a stuffed beast on her bed, the one I won her at the fair when we were sixteen. My chest tightens at the sight.

Vanessa sighs, unruffled by my outburst. She finishes folding a towel and passes it to me, our fingers brushing once again sending a jolt of arousal straight to my groin. I blink hard, willing it to go away before she sees how affected I am by being this close to her.

"I tried to find you later, so I could write, but it was pointless when I still couldn’t leave. It wasn’t safe for either of us." She visibly shudders.

I was younger and smaller then. I wouldn't have stood a chance against her father. Not like now.

"And you hadn't told Evan or Kali about us being mates, or what we were planning, so I didn't say anything to anyone, either."

I'm waiting for the part where she explains why she stood me up.

"I wanted to go," she whispers. "More than anything, Ben. But Jed was following me around. He knew I was up to something, and he got in my head, telling me Dad would kill anyone who tried to take me away without his approval. And then when he turned up and threatened you…" She gives me a dark smile. "I think we can both agree that my family wouldn'thave given you the nod, no matter how desperate they were to get rid of me."

Shaking my head, I stare at her, waiting for the big plot twist, the dramatic reason she couldn't come.

He locked her up. He threatened her safety. But there doesn't seem to be one. Just the same psychological warfare that's kept her trapped here all these years.

"You could have explained, at least, that you were worried you'd get caught. We could have pushed back the date. I would have understood. I would have fought for you, Vanessa, if I thought you wanted me to."

Her brown eyes glisten as she looks up at me, completely tortured, with the same eyes I'd imagined our children having one day. A little girl maybe, with her mother’s sass, that I could dote on and spoil.

"I knew you would have. You would have waited for me, or you would have tried to speak with my father. You would have done all the right things, but somehow, my family still would have gotten their claws into you and ruined your life. Or killed you. That's why it was better if you just hated me."

She shrugs, defeated and miserable, looking like a shadow of her former self. The vibrant girl who used to plan our future is gone, replaced by someone who's given up on her dreams.

Is it as simple as that? Her family got into her head, and she was convinced I was better off without her? My gut reaction is that it's just a cop out, but her father was always an ass. Mine wasn't great either, but at least he was absent most of the time, and we had John to fill the void.

She had nobody other than me telling her that his put downs and snide remarks were all lies. And she'd had a lifetime of being told she wasn't good enough. My beast growls, remembering how she used to flinch when anyone raised their voice, how she'd curl into herself whenever Jed was around.

"You should have come, Nessie," I say, not sure that I can ever forgive her now, even though my heart aches for everything she's lost. Everything we've both lost. "I would have found a way to make it work."

Looking sadder than anyone I've ever seen, she gives me a watery smile as I back out of the room. "I know that now."

I close the door behind me, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. Back in the kitchen, I pull out my phone and stare at the pictures of the land I bought, of the house plans I've been working on. A home built for a family that will never exist. I delete them all before shoving the phone back in my pocket.

Time to focus on what matters, and that’s getting John back safely.

8

VANESSA

Sleep won't come. Not with Ben's scent infiltrating every corner of my tiny home. And not with my beast pacing restlessly inside my head, whining at having our mate so close, yet so far. I roll over for the hundredth time, punching my pillow in frustration.

He's in the living room, probably not sleeping, either. My enhanced hearing picks up his steady breathing, and the occasional creak of the couch as he shifts positions. The sound brings back memories of nights spent curled up together, planning our escape, dreaming of our future.

"We'll have a big yard," he'd whisper, running his fingers through my hair. "Somewhere the kids can run free."

Kids. The thought makes my chest ache. Back then, having a family seemed inevitable. We were mates, we were in love, and we had our whole lives ahead of us. Now look at us. My fear has ruined everything.

My beast pushes against my control, wanting to go to him, to explain everything properly. But what would I even say? That I was too weak to stand up to my father? Too scared of Jed'sthreats? That I convinced myself Ben would be better off without me dragging him down?

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