Page 135 of Dark Endures

He chuckles. “This is about the only way I want to have kids.”

What? “Huh?”

Maddox walks over and takes Curly out of his cage. “I don’t ever want to have kids.”

“But you’re always surrounded by them.” And if Everett is any sign of how he takes care of them, he’s amazing at it.

“That’s the thing, Willow Street is my life. It’s unending and sometimes overwhelming. Doing what I do would always mean that my child would take second place. If an emergency happened, I can't just say, hold on a minute, I need to go to my son’s ballgame or music recital. The emergencies around here can’t wait. A woman might understand, but a child would never understand why I couldn’t be there.”

“You’d never want them to feel like it’s second best in your heart.” That’s so beautiful.

“Exactly.”

Maddox doesn’t want to hear about your life, yet I can’t stop myself from saying, “I don’t ever want to have kids.”

“A lot of women say that, then change their minds.” He strokes Curly.

“And men don’t?”

“Tòuchè.” He nods.

“I know I won’t change my mind. There’s no way I could risk making a child grow up the way I did.” Yet it’s always a risk. Kids are one bad choice from being lost in the marriage shuffle.

“Your childhood was that bad?” He walks over and pulls out a chair for me to sit down.

His already comfortable chair has an extra cushion on it. “It wasn’t bad. I’m sure there are kids who had it worse. I just always knew I came last. If that makes sense.” It probably doesn’t. “I always had food on the table and a roof over my head, but I never had parents who knew I was alive unless it suited their purpose. Mom wouldn’t think anything of dragging me to a bar or a club and leaving me alone with a ‘friend’ to watch me. She’d disappear for weeks on end when I was ten. That took latchkey kid to a whole new level.”

“But you’re not her.” He lifts the domes off our plates, revealing two perfectly cooked steaks with herb butter melting down them.

“The thing is, I am her. I will always be her.” A woman who craves love and attention like she does her next breath. Which is why I joined the spinsters' club, hoping that they would help curb the desire. “It’s just a risk I couldn’t take.”

“Couldn’t?”

“Not only won’t I have children, but I also can’t have children.” Did he just lose all respect for me? Men always seem to hold women to different standards than themselves.

“That makes sense.”

“Maddox!” Everett bursts through the door.

Uh oh. Though I do see Maddox's point about it being a nonstop job.

“I’m kind of busy.”

The kid looks between the two of us. “Don’t you have dinner with her every night? This is important.”

It would be wrong to laugh, wouldn’t it? I barely hold in a snicker.

“What’s so important?”

Everett pulls over a chair and sits down between us. “I was bored.”

Don’t laugh.

Don’t laugh.

“How is being bored an emergency?” Maddox asks with more patience than I would have had.

“Can I have a roll? I’m kind of hungry.”

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