Page 35 of Dark Endures

“The 156th meeting of the Sinister Spinsters Club is now in session. All members are present. Greer Novack, founding member but now guest, is also in attendance.” Ottilie jots the meeting notes down in the same type of notebook that we’ve been using to do the minutes since we started this club as teenagers in boarding school. It’s covered in black and purple zebra-striped glitter.

“There’s nothing sinister about us. We’re sitting in a pink floral room eating cake and drinking cocoa.”

Winnie isn’t wrong. Cordelia’s house could have been pulled out of one of those Victorian magazines. I’m pretty sure she hand-crocheted the lace doilies that are scattered around everywhere. There’s no doubt this is a homemade cake. A magnificently delightful lemon something or other. Pacing myself would be the right thing to do, but I’m just going to have to deal with tummy pain after I devour a slice of the peanut butter and jelly one too. My sleep-deprived brain and ravenous body from dancing and working super late last night won’t let me do anything else.

“We should become a little sinister.” Leonie stirs cream into her cocoa. “I don’t want to be a boring old lady.”

Leonie boring? That’s unfathomable. “How many people did you shoot this week?”

Her nose wrinkles as she answers, “Only one. It ended me up on desk duty.”

Well, that explains the boredom. “How long are you stuck there?”

“Forever.” She sighs. “Or the end of the week. Whichever comes first.”

“Aren’t you up for getting your detective shield soon?” Ottilie never forgets anything about us. Though that’s probably because of the notes she takes.

“I should hear back in the next month. But I’m not even sure I want the job now.”

What? “Why? You’ve dreamed about this job your whole life.” It’s her first step to getting into the FBI.

“Yeah, but my commanding officer will be Ewan Masters.” She sighs.

Uh oh. Are we going to lose another member of our little club? “Do you like him?” Though he’s her boss and therefore off limits. Maybe she’s like me, having crushes on her bosses with no chance of it ever going anywhere. Though it might be worth the trouble to have the hottest fling ever with Maddox…

“Me? Like Masters? No. But he is drool-worthy, and not just because he’s one fine-looking man. His mind… Do you know he has the best close rate of any detective in the entire state? What if I do something stupid and make a fool of myself in front of a man like him? I’d die. Literally die right on the spot.” Leonie leans back against the amazingly comfortable floral chair in Cordelia’s sunroom.

“When was the last time you made a mistake on the job?” Winnie asks.

“That’s not the point. What if it happens in front of him?” Leonie shakes her head. “Shouldn’t we be talking about club business?”

Our lives are the club business, but she needs a break.

“I still haven’t been able to schedule my tubal ligation.” Winnie stabs at her cake slice. “Every doctor says I’m too young to make that decision, and I’ll regret it when I get—Greer, why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing.” She brushes a tear away. “I just—We just—Darrell and I agreed that this would be our last attempt at IVF. It’s not going to work. Deep inside of me, I know that I’ll never be able to give Darrell the son he deserves.”

What idiotic nonsense. Darrell makes jerks look warm and fuzzy. He only married Greer because she was hot and rich… More like from a ‘good family’ according to society, which thankfully doesn’t know I exist. Now, she lives to make him happy, enduring endless torment and pain in the hopes that she can have the child he dreams of. Everything about their relationship is wrong.

“I could carry your baby for you.”

WHAT? Though, is it really surprising that Winnie would say that? She’d give her left arm for any of us. But to carry a baby… Something she’s absolutely terrified of, that’s mind-bogglingly generous.

Greer’s head pops up. “You would do that? But you don’t want to have kids. You’ve said that forever.”

Quite literally. Winnie was the one who announced that she never wanted to have kids the second time our little group met in one of the back rooms of the campus library.

“I don’t ever want to have a child…of my own.” Winnie cringes. “But I would be honored to carry your child. To give you the dream you’ve fought for time and time again.”

The way Winnie said that makes it sound heroic. And maybe it is.

Just like Winnie, I never want to have a child. Unlike Winnie, I was able to find a doctor to fix me. It took every cent I had saved from eighth grade till then, including summer jobs,the pocket money Mom’s boyfriends and husbands would send me during boarding school, and then working full-time with another part-time job. It was worth every penny and all the little sacrifices to know I’d never get pregnant. Never risk bringing a child into the world.

For the first time, Greer smiles. “Really? You’re sure about this? I don’t want to even hint this to Darrell if you think you might change your mind. It would crush him.”

What about you?

Would it crush you?

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