Page 78 of Rival for Rent

“Not all of it,” he said, still staring at the wall. “But all sorts of people join up. And some of them are men—because it’salmost always men—who should never be handed power and a weapon.”

“Oh,” I said softly.

“My last tour, we were in—” He cut himself off. “I can’t actually tell you. It’s classified. But one of my men—Pete—he seemed like a good guy at first. Easy to talk to. But he started getting paranoid. Power-tripping. We were in this village where there were supposed to be insurgents. But the intel was wrong. It was just a regular village. People trying to survive.”

He closed his eyes. “But Pete was convinced they were hiding something. Someone. And he thought…” He swallowed. “He thought the way to get the truth was to threaten to shoot their kids.”

“Jesus,” I said. “That’s awful.”

“I didn’t even realize he’d disappeared,” Mason said. “We were going over mission plans, trying to find the safest route back to base. And Pete wandered off. Rounded up some kids. Started pointing his gun at them. I didn’t know he was gone until I heard the first shot.”

“Oh God.” My chest seized up. “He didn’t—”

“He shot two kids before I got there. One was still alive, barely. But there was so much blood. People screaming. Pete firing everywhere. That kid… She died in my arms.”

“Oh, Mason. I’m so sorry.”

“I should’ve realized sooner. Should’ve known he was close to snapping. I thought he was in control. And I never thought—” He stopped, tears pooling in his eyes as he rubbed at them with a fist. “I should’ve stopped him.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have,” he said, his voice firm. “No one should’ve died that day. But I wasn’t paying enough attention. I was too sure of my own judgement.” He finally looked at me. “Don’t you see? This is what I do. I let people down. Let them get hurt. Killed. Because of my pride.”

“That wasn’t your fault. What happened to those kids—that wasn’t you. You didn’t pull the trigger.”

“I might as well have. It happened on my watch. That’s all that matters.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said again, voice firm. “Mason, you’re a good man.”

“I’m not. You, of all people, should know that. I was a piece of shit in high school and I’ve been a piece of shit ever since.”

“Oh, Mason.”

I pulled him into my arms and held him close. Had he really been comforting me a few minutes ago? That felt like another universe. All that mattered now was the man shaking quietly in my arms.

Mason didn’t sob like I had. He didn’t even make a sound. His tears just slipped out, silent and steady. But he didn’t push me away. And when I shifted us so we were lying down, he clung tight, like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go.

We lay there as the light outside faded. Dusk turned to dark, and at some point, I fell asleep again.

When I woke, Mason was shifting beside me. Sitting up. Trying to slide out of bed without waking me. The room was dim, a sliver of moonlight cutting across the floor.

“Mason,” I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

He looked back at me. “Go to sleep, Kai. I’m just going down to the couch. You’ll be fine.”

“No.” I didn’t know how I knew, but I did—I needed Mason with me. Tonight. And every night after. “Stay.”

He shook his head. “I shouldn’t.”

I tugged on the hem of his T-shirt, fingers fisting it. He laid his hand over mine, like he was going to gently peel my grip off.

“I need you.”

“Kai, we can’t keep doing this.”

I saw the indecision on his face. I knew I shouldn’t ask for this. Knew it wouldn’t mean the same thing for him as it did for me. I should have told him to go.

Instead, I whispered, “Please,” and Mason leaned in and kissed me.