Page 77 of Sweet Poison

I sniffle and look down at it, still clutched in my hands. “But they laughed,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “They think I’m weird.”

She shakes her head. “No, Willow. You’re a wonderful girl and so smart,” she reassures me. “You’re so brave for sharing something special. Do you want to tell me more about it?”

But I don’t feel brave. I feel stupid. They didn’t laugh at the plushie— they laughed at me.

I take a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. “It’s my favorite toy,” I whisper. “Daddy won it for me. It’s the best prize ever.”

Miss. Lila’s eyes soften, and I think I see a hint of pity in them, like maybe she understands something more than she’s saying. “That’s very sweet! You and your dad must’ve had so much fun at the arcade.” She pauses, waiting for me to continue.

I nod slowly, a tiny smile starting to peek through the sadness. “We played lots of games. I helped daddy pick the right one. He was so happy when he won it. He said I could have anything I wanted, but I wanted the pink mushroom.” My voice falters as I remember how happy daddy looked that day, how he looked so proud, how we both laughed when the claw machine finally dropped the prize into the chute. “It was the best day ever.”

That’s all I wanted to say to the class but they didn’t want to listen to me. They only wanted to laugh.

Ms. Lila smiles. “That sounds like a really fun day.” She’s quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “You should be proud of that day. Your daddy must love you so much.”

A long time seems to pass, but maybe it’s only been a few minutes. I’m still standing outside the classroom, my fingers tightly gripping my plushie. The door is slightly open, and I can hear Ms. Lila’s voice inside, soft and serious. “Thank you for coming in, Mr. and Mrs. O’Sullivan,” she says, her voice kind. “I wanted to talk about something that happened during story time with Willow today.”

I peek through the slit in the door, my heart thudding in my chest. I see my mom and dad sitting at the small, round table, their faces tight with concern. My stomach churns at the sad expression on my mommy’s face.

“What the fuck happened?” Daddy’s voice sounds angry. There’s panic under the anger.

“Is Willow okay?” Mommy asks, her voice small, almost shaking. She sounds scared—more scared than I’ve ever heard her before.

Ms. Lila takes a breath. “Willow presented her favorite toy today,” she says softly. “But some of the kids laughed at her voice… at her. She was upset, and it broke my heart to see her like that.”

There’s a sharp, sudden sound from daddy—he curses under his breath. “Those little fuckers.”

“Giant please,” Mommy pleads, her voice sad.

Daddy’s voice cracks just a little when he speaks. “They hurt my girl’s heart.” He sounds more sad than angry now.

I swallow hard. I want to run in there and tell them to not be sad, but my legs are frozen in place.

I peek again through the crack in the door. My mommy’s face is soft with sorrow, her eyes glistening as she listens to Ms. Lila. My dad sits beside her, looking strong. His expression is fierce, almost scary. He looks like he always does when I’m sad— like he wants to tear the world apart to make sure I’m safe and happy.

“Thank you for calling us,” Mommy says softly, her voice small. She clears her throat, but it doesn’t stop the shakiness. “We’ll talk to Willow about it.”

Daddy’s jaw tightens, and his voice is thick with emotion. “I can’t believe they would laugh at her. She’s doing her best. She’s so perfect and fucking beautiful. How dare they laugh.” He shakes his head in anger.

“I understand,” Ms. Lila replies gently. “Kids sometimes don’t think before they act. We’re working on kindness in the classroom. I promise, we’ll address it together. This won’t happen again.”

But it doesn’t feel okay. It doesn’t feel like enough. It’s not enough to undo the way the other kid’s laughter hurt my heart. Not enough to make mommy and daddy feel less broken and helpless.

Mommy reaches out, placing a hand on Dad’s large tattooed arm. It’s like she’s trying to calm him. “We appreciate you looking out for her, Ms. Lila,” she says, her voice steady now.

My teacher nods. I take a small step back, not wanting them to find me snooping. But then the door swings open, and I freeze.

Mommy and daddy look down at me, and in that second, their faces soften into something tender, something that makes me feel safe and protected.

Daddy’s arms reach out for me, and before I can say anything, he lifts me up, holding me tight against his chest. “Hey, Mo Chuisle,” he whispers before pressing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t let what those parasites did get you down, baby.” The words make me feel a little bit better, but the sadness in his voice makes my heart ache. “There’s no one more beautiful, more perfect than you.”

I want to believe my daddy because he never lies. But it feels like the laughter is still echoing in my ears, still ringing in my head, telling me my voice is ugly.

Mommy hugs us, her eyes shining with love. “We’re so proud of you for sharing today, sweetheart. It takes a lot of courage. You’re so brave.”

But I don’t feel brave. I feel small. Weird. I feel like my heart is still crumbling into pieces and nothing and no one can put it back together.

I bury my face against daddy’s chest, and I don’t know if it’s the comfort of his hug or the weight of everything happening that makes me cry harder. “They’re always so mean, Mommy.” I whisper as I clutch my mushroom tighter.

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