Page 8 of Sweet Poison

I glance over at them, their faces a mix of concern and empathy. Even through all the shit, good days and bad days they’ve been here for me. They’re good people.

The only people I truly trust aside from Lincoln.

Trying to collect myself and with nothing else to add, I wander away from the pit area, my footsteps heavy on the gravel as I seek a moment of silence. My team and the garage’s constant buzz of activity fades into the background as I walk away. Thoughts of Milton, he’s suicide and the lies the media is spinning crowd me and fuck with my head.

Perry and Remi’s voices are a distant murmur now, while they go over strategies and reassurances that barely register. I need space—room to breathe, and to think what I should do next.

One thing is for sure. I won’t hide like a fucking coward. That fucker took enough from me already. I won’t let this shit change my life and stop me from living the life I busted my ass for.

No fucking way.

As I stroll along the edge of the track trying to get my head straight, my eyes catch a splash of color against the grass. I stop dead and take a closer look. It’s a small mushroom, red with white spots, standing out in the sea of green.

Something about beckons me closer.

The fucking thing is cute.

Cute, colorful and alone.

As I stare at it, I’m transported back to a different time, a different place. Memories of cold winter evenings spent in a garden with a tiny girl who loved nature as much as she loved to talk endlessly about fungi and bugs. I remember the way her big eyes would light up as she read the mysteries of all nature’s creatures from one of her favorite science books. I would sit quietly next to her, half-listening, half-lost in the comfort her presence gave me when everything else hurt or made me angry.

Not her.

Never the girl with kind eyes and a wild heart.

The girl with a name as pretty as her face.

Even all these years later I can’t still bring myself to utter it. Because I know the truth no one else knows. Nothing in life brings me joy now. Nothing makes me feel aside when I’m racing. But every time I think back to that year with the girl that reminded me of a fairy, it opens the door to feelings and shit I rather stayed buried.

She’s gone and so is the Madden I was with her.

Yet, the feelings I got when I was with her seem to resurface as I look at the damn mushroom. The sight of that little mushroom brings a pang of nostalgia, a reminder of a time when nothing hurt because she was there smiling at me like I was a superhero or some shit. I can almost hear her soft and sweet voice now, whispering about her mother’s plants, about her simple dreams and all the things she wanted to explore when she got older.

And as the memory settles over me, I know exactly where I need to go to lay low.

The place that reminded me of all I never had and what could’ve been.

The place that was part of Willow’s dream.

A country that reminded me of her— ofgreen.

Chapter

Three

SEASON OF SURPRISES

Willow

“I never believed in anything quite like I

believe that you, Wild One, were born for me.” – M

Almost eleven hours in the air I sink into the plush seat of my parent’s jet, the hum of the engines a constant, soothing background to my swirling thoughts and anxiety.

It’s just one trip, Willow, be a big girl and get over it.I try to tell myself yet the anxiety won’t leave my system.

We’re almost there.

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