Page 2 of Sweet Venom

I, on the other hand, I’m wearing my blue dress, the same blue as Daddy’s hair. Cobalt. It felt like I’m wrapped in the color of the sky, or maybe something even more magical. When I spun, the dress twirled just a little, and I did that sometimeswhen no one’s watching. My shoes were shiny, too. I’m not used to them, so I walked really carefully, like I’m trying not to break them… or myself. They made me feel a little like Dorothy in aunty’s favorite movie, as if my feet were special, and maybe, just maybe, they could take me somewhere majestic and filled with magical adventures.

But right now, I don’t want to be anywhere else but here.

All my cousins are here and Aunt Kadra’s sisters are here with their families too, and the air smells like roses and candle wax and some kind of sugary perfume. There are black hearts everywhere, hanging from the chandeliers, scattered across the tables, and little glass cups full of dark chocolate and red candies.

Not wanting to stay in the corner while everyone else celebrated, I decided to join the party. I carefully made my way down the stairs, clutching a pile of little folded Valentine cards in my hands. I’ve already given a couple to some of my cousins, and the grownups, but there’s one card that’s extra special. I held it close to my chest, like a secret, keeping it safe until I found him.

“Hey, love bug,” a soft voice that made my heart happy said, and I looked up. It’s Mommy. She smiled at me, and I could see the glow of the candles reflecting off her long, black hair. Her green eyes sparkled in the light. My mommy always looked like she belongs in a storybook, like the kind my Daddy writes for us. My Daddy calls her a witch, and I always wonder why. Witches, after all, are supposed to be ugly, with rotten-yellow teeth and long, crooked noses. But Mommy is beautiful. When I asked him, he said he called her that because she’s magical—she did something to his heart that can only be explained by witchcraft.

Daddy’s silly.

When I smiled up at her, she reached to fix my heart antenna headband, which had started slipping down, and she tapped it gently back into place. “Did you hand out all your Valentine’s cards?” she asked, her voice soft, but full of that kind of warmth that made everything feel like it’s okay.

I looked down at the remaining cards in my hand and focused on the one that’s still folded—the most special one, and I shook my head. My fingers brushed over the edges of it, feeling the smoothness of the paper where I drew hearts and wrote my favorite quote that reminded me of him.

“No,” I whispered. He’s nowhere to be found. The boy with gray eyes that made my stomach funny every time I saw him. Not like butterflies. More like something warm, like the sun was shining on me, but only from inside my chest. I don’t know why he makes me feel all gooey inside. My cousins—especially Artemis—always talked about love. How it makes everything feel brighter like it could make the world spin just right.

Daddy says I’m too little for boys and love. But is that what it was? The warm feeling in my chest? Love?

“Do you want to give it to him?” Mommy asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice. She always knows when I’m thinking about something, especially if it’s about him. I don’t know why, but I think back to the last image I have of him. He’s standing next to his father watching everything around them with angry and stormy eyes, his hands tucked in the pockets of his black jeans. He always looks mad, like he’s angry at the world. It made me feel sad. He never smiles—not even when no one is watching, like Aunt Kadra and Uncle Vitali do. Aza doesn’t smile. Ever.

I want him to. I want him to always feel happy.

Mommy always says, “Love makes the world turn blue, Poe. You just have to find the right heart to paint it blue with.” I don’t know what she means by that. Blue? Because of Daddy’s hair?I know blue is mommy’s favorite color because of Daddy’s hair. Maybe blue is what love means to them.

I wonder if my heart already has found his other half.

Was it his?

Could I make his world turn and paint it blue?

“I-I’m afraid,” I said softly, shaking my head again, though I’m not sure why. What if he thinks I’m weird and doesn’t want to be my friend? My tummy started to hurt at the thought. Maybe I should just keep looking at him at a distance like he watched the world around him.

Mommy smiled that quiet smile of hers that we all love so much—the one that means she’s giving me space to figure it out on my own.

“That’s okay, love bug,” she said. “You’ve got all the time in the world. But remember, there’s no one as magical as you, Poe Vaeda, and anyone would be lucky to be your friend.” She kissed the top of my head, then stepped back, letting me stand there and think, just like I always did. My blue dress swirled around me as I waited for my heart to show me what to do next.

Go on, Poe… you can do it. I told myself but my feet stayed glued to the floor.

I glanced around the room again, my heart still beating a little too fast. My cousins are all gathered in a corner by the fireplace, giggling and eating chocolates shaped like hearts. Their mouths are smeared with pink and red, and they’re throwing you’re so ugly jokes at each other, loud and silly. But none of them are the boy with gray eyes that makes me feel all gooey inside like my favorite chocolate bar. I looked and looked, but he’s not there. Not near the punch bowl. Not by the velvet curtains. Not by the big table with the heart-shaped cookies that Aunt Kadra’s sister, Mila, made herself, because she’s lovely like that. Mommy told us that Mila and her husband, Riagan alongside their daughter Willow traveledfrom Philadelphia just to be here tonight. They even baked all the delicious treats for us to enjoy. I saw my twin, Vade, stuff three chocolate cupcakes while Cassian ate a waffle in the shape of Cupid. I, on the other hand, was too nervous to eat or drink anything.

My stomach felt funny. I rubbed my hands over the card. I’ve written his name on it. I’m still not sure if I should give it to him. I wonder if he’d laugh if I did. Maybe he would. But then, maybe he wouldn’t. His eyes always seem so distant, like he’s always thinking about being somewhere else. And the few times he has acknowledged my presence, when he looked at me, it’s like he’s looking through me. Or maybe into me. Like he knew something I didn’t.

Find him, Poe. Everyone deserves a little magic today.

The thought of him alone made me remember how, a few weeks ago, when we last visited, I was walking outside after dark with mommy, and I saw him sneaking through the wrought-iron gates at the back of the garden wrapped all in black. He looked like the Grim Reaper walking through the dark.

He was walking slowly, like he was going somewhere far away, somewhere that mattered to him. Aunt Kadra’s rose garden. I remember the way it looked in the moonlight, the red roses glowing and looking a little like blood, their pretty petals turning silver in the night. It’s strange to think about someone all day. But I do. I think about Azariel often. How he liked to lose himself in the garden after the sun went down. It’s the only place I ever see him disappear to, and I always wonder what he’s doing there. What he’s thinking about. I wanted to know… everything.

Is he there now? With the bloody roses?

I knew the garden’s just out the back door, past the kitchen, down the cobbled path that winded up behind the mansion. Ididn’t even think. I just slipped out from the crowd, my dress twirling behind me as I made my way toward the door.

The cold February air hit me when I stepped outside, sharp and quiet, and I could feel the night around me, the way it smelled like damp earth and roses. The path was narrow, lined with little stone lanterns that flicker in the dark. There’s a light mist hanging in the air, the kind that made everything look like a dream. I kept walking, the hem of my dress dragging lightly on the ground, my heart thudding louder now.

I could see the outline of the garden ahead, the tall stone walls, and the silhouette of the roses. I slowed down, my breath fogging in the cool night air, and I squinted into the darkness, looking for him. Maybe he’s there. Maybe I’ll find him standing between the rows of roses, lost in his head. Lost to the shadows.

I stood still for a moment, listening. And there it was. The faintest rustle of leaves, the softest footstep. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I’d found him without even seeing him. My heart flipped inside my chest again, like it’s doing something it’s not supposed to do.

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