Page 18 of The Sound of Silence

I had done that.

Now, I had to beg for His forgiveness, or I’d become the unrepentant wicked and suffer the fate of those who do not accept Him.

“I know that your judgments are righteous, Lord, and that you punished me because you are faithful… Have mercy on me, and I will live because I take pleasure in your law.”

I continued to recite the psalms, one for every lash, needing Him to forgive me for what I did to Gianna. I shouldn’t have left my wife on the floor, all alone.

Hurting.

Suffering.

All by my hand.

I was a sinner who had succumbed to the temptations of wrath.

Using all the energy I had left, I squeezed my cock and gave myself a final burning lash. Then I cried out, a humble penitent seeking His forgiveness for my transgressions.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned!”

Collapsing down to my hands and knees, a single tear slid from my face, onto the floor. My act of contrition was complete.

7

Gianna

Istaggered into the emergency room with Natalia supporting most of my weight. The throbbing in my head and cramping in my stomach was close to unbearable as I struggled to stay upright on my own. A nurse who was passing by saw us and gasped. I could barely contain my relief when she rushed to place a wheelchair under me. Collapsing into it, I smiled faintly at her.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She paused and studied my face, smiling sympathetically. I wasn’t sure what I looked like but her kind eyes embarrassed me. I felt my face flush with a shame I knew I shouldn’t feel. “Let’s get you over to the registration desk, so you can be seen by a doctor.”

“She’s pregnant and bleeding pretty bad,” Natalia told her.

The nurse looked to my lap, and her eyes widened, seeing the bloodstain on the denim between my thighs for the first time.

“On a scale of one to ten, what’s your pain level?” she asked, her tone taking on a sense of urgency that hadn’t been there before.

“Um, maybe around a seven. Just really bad cramping.” It was hard to tell. The throbbing in my head was so bad, I wasn’t sure if it was masking the pain in my abdomen.

“Okay, then. I’ll page OBGYN while you get registered. What’s your name, hon?”

“Gianna. Gianna Walker.”

“Well, Ms. Walker, don’t worry. We’ll take good care of you.”

Once she stepped away, Natalia wheeled me over to the registration desk. The receptionist behind the counter took my information quickly and efficiently. When she needed to collect the co-payment for the emergency room visit, my hands shook as I fumbled with trying to get my wallet out of my purse.

“Here, let me help you,” Natalia offered. Plucking the wallet free, she unclasped it at the front and opened it. “Which card?”

“The Visa is fine.”

Natalia slid the plastic through the card reader and we waited while it processed.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Walker. The payment was declined,” the receptionist said awkwardly.

“That’s strange. There’s always money in that account.” I shook my head in confusion. “Nat, can you pull out the American Express? I’m not sure why the Visa isn’t working.”

Natalia swiped once again, only for that card to be denied too.

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