Page 22 of The Sound of Silence

Shoving the worry aside, I quickly looked around the kitchen for anything that might be out of place. There was a dishtowel balled up on the counter. I quickly shoved it in a drawer so Ethan wouldn’t be upset I hadn’t hung it back up after use. I glanced at the pink daisies, the flowers I’d come to loathe, in the vase on the center of the island. They would need freshwater tomorrow but were okay for now. Any cloudiness to the water would upset Ethan because he thought it meant I wasn’t grateful for his gift. On the other side of the kitchen, the bread box was open. I cursed myself for forgetting to close it after I made myself lunch earlier that afternoon. I crossed the kitchen in three long strides and slid the door closed just as he entered.

“You’re home early,” I said as casually as I could, despite the fact my heart was racing. “Did you catch all the bad guys?”

“Yeah, actually. We raided a meth house today. There are eight fewer scumbags on the street now.” He bypassed me and went straight for the safe hidden behind a large picture in the living room. After he spun the dial, he deposited his department-issued gun and a large duffle bag inside, then locked it again. I frowned, curious what was in the bag. I’d seen him come home with it on a few other occasions. Whatever the contents were, he always kept them locked tight in the safe I didn’t know the combination to. Later in the evening, he’d return to the safe to remove the same bag, then leave with it and come back hours later empty-handed. I suspected it was something illegal. Ethan may think I was stupid, but I had always excelled in math. I knew his salary alone wasn’t enough to cover the mortgage payment.

“Fewer drug dealers are always a good thing,” I said lightly, still trying to gauge his mood.

“It is.” He stepped up to me and placed a light kiss on my forehead. Pulling out skills even Meryl Streep would be jealous of, I leaned in and accepted his embrace. “Dinner smells good, Gia. I’m just going to wash up. I’ll be back out in a few.”

He pulled away, gave a little tap to my ass, then disappeared into the bedroom. When I heard the shower turn on in the master bath, I inwardly groaned in misery. Sex was almost guaranteed to be on the menu tonight. I was nothing more than an object to him. He took everything while I got nothing. I had faked more orgasms than I could count over the past year—not that I cared much about that anymore. It was easier to ‘behave’ than deny him his needs. Tonight would be no different.

Fifteen minutes later, he returned wearing jeans but no shirt, tiny beads of water dripping from his hair and onto his broad, muscular shoulders. Once upon a time, the sight of him wet from a shower would have turned me on, but there was no thrill or excitement to see him naked or bare-chested anymore. There hadn’t been for a long time. Now, I just found him repulsive but still managed to put on a fake smile as he approached. However, my smile faltered when I saw the look on his face. I knew that look.

He was angry—very angry.

“What the fuck is this, Gia?” The tone of his voice caused shivers to race down my spine all the way to the tips of my toes.

Raising his hand, he held his palm open to reveal a pink plastic case. The round lid was unlatched, revealing the circular arrangement of birth control pills set in foil. I felt all the blood drain from my face. My mind raced, trying to recall my steps from earlier that morning. I had no idea how he found them. I was careful, always ensuring the floorboard was back in place. There was no way he could have found them by accident.

I discretely shifted my eyes toward random places throughout the kitchen, half wondering if he had installed cameras without my knowing. It wouldn’t have surprised me. I didn’t see any at a quick glance, but it didn’t matter. He’d found the pills and now he was waiting for an answer. Somehow, I managed to keep my voice steady and cocked up one brow in mock confusion.

“I have no idea,” I said with a shrug. Denying they were mine was the only thing I could think to do.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“No. Honestly, Ethan. I don’t know what that is.”

He took a step closer. I stepped back. My shoulders squared, and survival mode kicked in. I’d been here too many times before. Reaching behind me toward the counter, I tried to inconspicuously shove the butcher knife I’d been using to cut vegetables out of sight.

No weapons.

If he got his hands on an object that could hurt me, he would. I may have recovered from a beating with a metal spatula but I didn’t want to chance a knife.

I was too late.

Tossing the packet of pills onto the counter, he grabbed hold of my arm and reached behind me for the knife. It all happened so fast, I had no time to react. I stayed perfectly still, too petrified to move a muscle. His hand slid up from my arm to wrap around my neck and pulled me close, squeezing until I could barely breathe. Bringing his lips to my ear, he pressed the flat side of the knife against my cheek.

“I told you I wanted a baby, Gia,” he whispered. “The psalms teach us, ‘Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!’”

“The psalms?” I asked. His quote confused me. I’d never known Ethan to attend a single Mass, let alone quote scripture. While we had both been baptized Catholics, neither one of us was practicing—or so I thought. Religion was rarely discussed between us, but apparently, my husband was more devout than he let on. Bewildered, I could only remain still under the cold edge of the knife blade.

“Yes. Psalm 128:3 says, ‘Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.’ You’ve been deceiving me all this time, Gia. I should have known you would deny your duty to me.” His voice was eerily calm. Goosebumps raced over my body and my heart began to thud loudly in my ears. I knew what this false calm meant. When he sounded this way, it was nothing short of terrifying.

He grabbed hold of my hair and jerked my head back with a sharp tug. I sucked in a huge breath, not sure how long I had before his hand returned to crush my windpipe. That was his favorite method of punishment—cut off my air supply until I was begging.

“Ethan, please. Let’s talk about this,” I whimpered.

His next words made my pounding heart still and my blood turn cold.

“You’ve defied me for the last time, Gia. Things are going to get much worse for you now. You will get pregnant. If it means I have to tie you down to the bed and fuck you bloody raw for days, I will. I’ll get what is owed to me. One way or another, I’ll get it.”

I’d seen many sides to Ethan, but this maniacal look on his face was something entirely new. I had never before seen him this angry—this enraged. For the first time, I felt genuinely afraid for my life. Fear slithered over my skin until an all-consuming calamity of terror began pounding in my skull.

“Ethan,” I tried to plead again, my voice barely a whisper.

“Take your clothes off.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

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