“Never mind,” I muttered, shaking my head. “Look, I want to shut off thoseotherfeelings, but I can’t!
“What other feelings? What are you trying to shut off?”
Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wanted to run—to hide. My gaze flitted around the room for a place to escape—the closet, the bathroom—anywhere would do as long as I could shed these angry tears without having to see the sadness and pity in Derek’s eyes.
“Please, just go. I’m really sorry, but I think it’s for the best.”
He stood there, staring at me for a long while. I could feel his penetrating gaze but I was afraid to look at him. If I did, I knew I would break. When he eventually spoke, his voice was near a whisper.
“I need to know what happened to you. I want the truth.”
My eyes snapped up to meet his.
“You want the truth?” I bit out. It was on the tip of my tongue to shout out the iconic line fromA Few Good Men. I stifled the maniacal laughter threatening to bubble past my lips. The reality was, I knew Derek could, in fact, handle the truth. It was me who didn’t want to face it.
“Talk to me, Val.”
I laughed bitterly at the use of my fake name, the realization of how screwed up this was truly hitting me for the first time. All of this pretending…and for what? Ethan would always have the power. I looked pointedly at Derek, my next words coming out hard and resentful.
“Okay, here’s a truth for you, boy scout. My name is not Val Bonetti. It’s Gianna Valentini.”
31
Derek
Istood perfectly still. The look on her face said she expected me to be shocked, but all I felt was relief. I was tired of the charade, the hiding, and everything else in between. This was the moment of truth I’d been waiting for.
“Why don’t you look surprised?” she asked with a frown.
I closed my eyes briefly and exhaled a long sigh.
“Because I’m not. I knew your name. I always did.”
“What do you mean you always knew?” The words dragged hesitantly over her lips as she shook her head with disbelief.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I looked up at the ceiling. It was time for me to come clean. When my eyes met hers again, I could see her genuine embarrassment, but I also saw a hint of betrayal. I had to make this right. I thought I’d been helping her by keeping her secret—by giving her the time she needed to deal with whatever it was she was battling—but seeing her face now made me realize how bad I may have screwed this up.
“Fuck, I didn’t want it to be like this.”
“Like what?” she demanded.
“Just wait here for a minute.”
“Wait here? But you—”
“Val, Gianna or… whatever. Just trust me on this. Please. I need to run to my apartment real quick. Don’t barricade this place up like Fort Knox while I’m gone. Give me five minutes and I’ll be right back.”
Without another word, I left her gaping after me and rushed across the street to my apartment. When I arrived, Maisie was bouncing around in her crate to be let out.
Shit.
I’d completely forgot she’d been alone for over five hours. She probably had to go out.
“I’m sorry, girl. I got too wrapped up with Val… I mean, Gianna, tonight, and I almost forgot about you.”
Gianna.
I smiled to myself, enjoying the sound of her true name coming from my lips for the first time. Moving as fast as I could, so I didn’t keep Gianna waiting for too long, I opened the end table drawer and pulled out the teardrop earring she’d lost on her wedding day. After stashing it into my pocket, I let Maisie out of her crate, grabbed her leash, and prayed the elevator to the rooftop patio would come quickly.