Page 40 of Endurance

I hesitated, not sure what to say. Yes, I could probably tell my story easily enough, but that wasn’t what worried me. Kallie didn’t know about my father. If she did, she would know that something like this had the potential to open up a can of worms. I didn’t want to do it, yet there was something in her expression that made me feel like I had to. She was pushing at the walls I’d constructed around myself since the accident—and I was letting her.

Standing up from my chair, I turned away from her intense gaze. Looking out past the pool, I stared at nothing in particular as I contemplated what she wanted me to do. After a moment, I shook my head, then turned back to her.

“Fuck, Kallie. I can’t mentor a teenager. My own life is barely on track. Up until you showed up, I was off the rails, on a road to nowhere. I just don’t think I’m a good fit for that kind of thing right now—possibly ever.”

“Can you at least think about it? I told Jeremiah that I’d need to talk to you about it first, but he agreed to keep the guest speaker spot open until he hears back from me. Perhaps if you meet with him and tour the facility, you can make up your mind then.”

“Alright. I’ll think about it.”

Her ability to twist me to her will was astonishing. This girl was going to be the death of me at this rate.

“If you find yourself struggling with a speech, I can help you and—”

“Kallie, don’t get ahead of yourself. I said I’d think about it. No promises.”

She beamed, and I felt myself soften. Standing up, she came over to where I was standing and placed her hands on my forearms.

“Thank you.”

I looked down at her wide smile. Her green eyes twinkled in the low sun, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching up to touch her face.

“I’ve traveled all over this country for more races than I can count. I’ve seen thousands of faces and just as many smiles. But yours, Rainbow Brite… your smile is my favorite.”

Her grin widened, and she began to laugh—and I mean, really laugh. The sound was full and deep, the freedom of who she was coming to the forefront. Even when she quieted, there was still a slight twitch to her lip as if she were still mulling over the humor in her head.

“You’ve got some smooth lines, Sloan. I’m sure you’ve used that one on all the ladies.”

“No. Just you,” I admitted sincerely. The humor faded, and she flushed a subtle shade of pink. Tilting her head to the side, she eyed me with curiosity.

“I can’t help but think about what Colton said about you not keeping women around for very long. I don’t know where things will go with us, and I’m not looking for anything serious, especially considering I’ll only be here for another four and a half months. I have a life in D.C., and when our contract is over, I’m going back. But you should know in advance that I don’t know how to do casual flings. When I give, I give one hundred percent of myself and won’t be able to separate sex from emotions. Even if I try for casual, it may not end up that way for me, and when I think about where things may lead tonight…” She wavered, and her apprehension was evident by the worry lines on her forehead.

“Look, I know what Colton said. He’s not wrong—I don’t do serious, but it’s not for the reasons you might think. I’m not anti-commitment. It’s just that racing life is—” I pinched my brows together, trying to think of the best way to describe what it meant to spend countless hours on the road, living in trailers, and working my ass off to win one qualifying race after another. “Racing life is hard, Kallie. There’s nothing glamorous about it—especially when you’re first coming up. I traveled a lot, and I saw the relationship strains other drivers had with their significant others. I just wanted to focus on racing. It was all that mattered to me.”

“I was never up on who was who in the racing world,” she admitted. “But with minimal research, I learned what a big deal you were. When I read something that compared you to the Tiger Woods of racing, I was shocked to realize I hadn’t heard of you before.”

“I don’t know about that particular comparison, but I do know I was at the top of my game at the time of the crash. I still hold the record of being the youngest driver ever to win three consecutive championships, but the money and fame that came with it didn’t happen without sacrifice. I would never have achieved any of it if I’d had the distraction of a serious relationship.”

“And now?

“Well, I’m not racing at the moment now, am I?”

“At the moment?”

“I’ll always want to be behind the wheel again, Kallie. That will never change.”

“I know the doctor said you couldn’t race anymore, but considering how medical technologies advance, I have to ask. This is going to sound so contradictory—especially since I just said I don’t want anything serious—but I’m more than just a one-night-stand kind of girl. If given the opportunity to get back into racing, where would that leave me?”

“If you’re wondering that, it seems like you are, in fact, looking for something serious.”

“Not necessarily. I just want to know where I’ll stand if you start racing again.”

“If I answer that, you might not like it, Kallie.”

“Try me.”

Fuck.

Unable to meet her stare, I stepped away and turned to look out over the pool once more. I didn’t know how we got to this point, but I knew I had to give her an honest answer. I didn’t like mind games, and I hated liars. I prided myself on speaking my mind, and people always knew where I stood. Giving her brutal honesty might ruin any chance I had with her, but I gave it to her, nonetheless.

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