Page 2 of Before Their After

The constant buzz of my phone hummed in the distance as we debated over different venues and how they fit into our budget. He’d been oddly thorough. More than I’d expected, considering most of my friends who’d gotten married complained about doing it all on their own.

Now I was scrolling through Pinterest on his laptop. “I honestly don’t think it’ll rain. But if you insist, it appears they have a contingency plan. Not as cute, but like I said, it’s not going to rain,” I called out to him from the snug little corner of our studio apartment.

The toilet flushed in the bathroom and I took the moment to check my phone. Harley’s ears perked up as I unlocked the screen.

“What is it, girl?” I asked, rubbing the spot near her back legs that often calmed her down.

The vase of flowers crashed off the bar cart. I turned around, Xavier’s brown skin a sickly green color. One hand fell over his stomach, the other grasping his chiming phone. “Something’s … wrong.”

“What? Like bad sushi or something?” I stood up, crossing the room. The continued buzzing of my phone fought for my attention. My heart stopped the moment I glanced down. The first text on my phone in a string of notifications from friends and news stations alike.

Dad: Day 0. Stay safe. We love you.

“Xavier—” I started, looking up to find him making his way to the ground.

His head slammed into the hardwood floor, body convulsing. The brown eyes I’d become accustomed to glazed over, unseeing as he stared up at me, his body utterly still. “Xavier!” I shouted, pushing Harley back as she pried her way between us.

With the twitch of his head, the tension in my body eased.Alive.He’s still alive.Until his gaze connected with mine. The only force stronger than love is fear. Maybe that’s why I ran.

One Last Ride

REINA

I’d spent so muchof the last few years wishing on every passing star and plane to have more moments like this. The three of us, the laughter of my brothers, full and hearty in the distance as I kept to my own. Just the energy around them was enough to make me somewhat happy to be content with this little life of mine.

Seth had been gone for far too long. The gap in his presence was felt by us all. I didn’t blame him for any of it. We all reacted in different ways. If he had to run away to get better, then so be it, as long as he found his way back to us. Warm sunlight streamed into the stables, highlighting the little white speckles of dust in its glow. I tapped my foot against the wooden stool to the beat of some song on my ‘Good Vibes Only’ playlist, humming along to the harmony, my fingers weaving knots into a crochet top.

A bucket of water clanged against the floor, startling me into a straightened posture. Hunter lay on his ass with a menacing glare at Seth’s pointed finger. I grinned, joining in Seth’s rarelaugh, and shook my head at Hunter’s clumsiness. Though I wasn’t exactly coordinated, Hunter was less than balanced himself unless he was on top of a horse, which seemed to be more time than not these days.

“I knew that was behind me,” he grumbled, but took Seth’s extended hand. Hunter brushed himself off as Seth mounted his horse. “Wanna go for a ride, little sister?”

I dropped my crochet hook, leaning forward as I looked them over and tried not to appear too eager. “You sure I won’t just slow y’all down?”

“Probably,” Seth mumbled, staring down at me from the top of his horse, Freedom. My brother was already tall, and gazing up at him on the seat of his stallion put a crook in my neck. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I glanced at Hunter, then picked at my crochet hook. Hunter cleared his throat, mounting his mare without tearing his hard stare from his twin. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t want you to come.”

Clicking pause on my tunes, I stopped what I was doing and quickly tied my hair into a braid. Hunter reached out a hand before I crossed over to his horse's stall. “Up you go. Ride with me, for old times’ sake?”

A toothy smile wide enough to pinch my cheeks took over. I hadn’t been for a ride with Hunter in ages. Since we were kids, actually. It was a memory I dreamed about when my family was falling apart. I used to spend a lot of time with my brothers. Then James died and Seth left. The loss of them both had sent Hunter into a period of recluse, leaving me to my lonesome.

Riding the property in one of the trucks or a four-wheeler was one thing. Feeling the rhythmic motion of Hunter’s sweet Daisy beneath me, her muscles flexing with each step, was a beauty of its own. I’d forgotten how picturesque the rolling hills of Billings were. They resembled a dang painting that cost thousands of dollars hanging in some fancy museum. Greengrass waved in the breeze in every direction. The blue of the sky seemed brighter accompanied by the earthy aroma of the rich soil and wildflowers.

Patches of trees sparked vivid memories from my childhood. My brothers and I spent many afternoons there, wasting away time and sharing the water of whomever had any left. We’d hide in the shade for hours when our father had told us we couldn’t come back in until our chores were complete. A worn down wooden structure showed its head after a few silent minutes of riding. The tree house James had tried to build for me ages ago when I’d begged for one for my tenth birthday.

Seth’s tan, freckled face beamed with the joy and freedom that riding brought him. He looked at Hunter, exchanging the silent words that only twins could do. The stormy blue eyes we all shared glimmered as they fell on me with a wicked grin. “Hold on tight.”

With a series of gleeful whoops and shouts, the wind ripped in my ears as my brothers took off. Daisy's and Freedom’s tails trailed behind them like banners, their feet moving so fast, I could not decipher when they were touching the ground. Freedom and Seth moved as one, the two of them in their element.

I loosened the grip I had on Hunter, my arms out wide, thighs tightened for stability. My laughter mingling with the wind as we raced across the open field. The pressure and expectations our daddy had on us felt far away out here. Understanding why my brothers spent so much time away and out on the property was easy with this kind of reminder. In sync, Hunter and Seth slowed to a steady trot. They rode side by side, the only sounds now the soft clop of hooves and the buzz of nature around us.

Hunter was the first to break the silence. “Anything from that school yet? SCAT?”

“SCAD,” Seth corrected, noting the sharp dart of my eyes on the ground and failure to answer the question. He moved Freedom closer, peering at me from beneath his favorite pinched front cowboy hat. “Don’t sweat it. Their loss.”

The words meant a heck of a lot coming from him. He’d been the main one crapping on the idea of leaving this place along with our dad. “I never applied.”

“What?” Hunter asked, turning slightly to get a good look at me. Though he and Seth were twins, they were opposites despite the even amount of time spent in the sun. His pale skin and dark hair resisted the changes from the harsh sun, much like my own. “Why? You were so excited.”

“Dad … he didn’t think it was a smart move. A waste of money,” I answered, more meekly than I’d intended. It was a touchy subject, considering there was a chance Seth would somehow find a way to defend the harsh words of our dad. They both intended well, had my best interest at heart, but their words could use a lesson in bedside manner from our momma.

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