Page 12 of His Vicious Desire

“Come get me, I’m on punishment, and my mom took my damn keys.”

Before I can think of an excuse, she hangs up on me.Fuck.

Twenty minutes later, I roll up to her house.I text her that I’m here since I don’t want to encounter her mom.

I barely recognize her when she comes out.I haven’t seen her since my birthday, almost three months ago.We’ve texted a few times, not much else.

Triumphant, she opens the passenger door and poses.“Don’t I look good?”

“Yes, wow.What did you do?”I ask as she climbs inside.“I thought you didn’t want to do the surgery.”

Opening her purse, she takes out a bottle of pills and shakes them at me.“Not surgery.Something different.I got these from my cousin.They were supposed to be for studying so I can retake the SAT but they make it so I don’t care about food.Thirty pounds is gone just like that.I love these things.”

Thirty pounds in three months?“Your cousin isn’t a doctor.”

She rolls her eyes.“These aren’t a prescription, prescription.They’re in this bottle so if I get stopped with them, I hopefully won’t have them taken off me.This bottle is from the sleeping pills I usually take.My cousin has the hook-up on these.You want to try them?”

Bianca

“What do you mean you don’t have more?I paid you for thirty pills.This is only twenty.”I force a deep breath.Was I as loud as it felt?

Kitty shakes her head.“That’s all he had.”

“I gave you enough for thirty pills.This isn’t thirty pills.Where the hell is the rest of my money?”I demand.I don’t care if I’m loud.

“That’s what it costs.I don’t have any money left.”

“Fuck you, you’re lying.Give me the rest of my money, Kitty.”

“I don’t have any money.Fuck you.I’m the one who connected you.If you think you can get them cheaper elsewhere, then fucking do that.Oh, but you can’t, can you?You go to anyone else in this city, and they’ll run and tell your brother?—”

I never see it coming—even though it’s my hand slapping this stupid bitch across the face.The sound of the slap is loud in the room, and my hand hurts.Oh shit.What did I do?I’m not like this.I’ve never hit anyone in my life.

Holding her face, she’s stunned.“You’ve just fucked yourself.I’m not getting you any pills ever again.Good luck losing any more weight.You’re still a fat bitch.”

I’m frozen as she grabs her bag and leaves my dorm room.It’s only when she slams the door closed that I’m able to move.Sitting down heavily on the bed, I shake my head.Shit, breathe deep.It’s fine.I’m fine.This is actually a good thing.I know I’m not supposed to be taking those pills.Now, if I don’t have a choice, then it’s a good thing.

Kitty started like any good dealer.She offered me a week's worth.They did everything she promised.I could stay up to study, and I wasn’t hungry.I was down five pounds and asked her what they were called.Then I made an appointment with my doctor.She shook her head.The pills weren’t safe.If I wanted, she could get me onto the track of having bariatric surgery.

So I called Kitty again.That was a month ago.For the last few weeks, my dependency grew heavier while my fatass got lighter.I was so freaking happy but now…

It’s fine.I’ll be fine.

Except I’m not fine.Three days without, and I’m going out of my mind.I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.I need just a little to get through the come down from this.

I’m not thinking straight as I go through my phone, wondering if any of the few contacts could help me.I’m not calling Sandro.He’d kill me if he found out.Bobby was usually good to keep low-key stuff from Sandro.Since he had a daughter my age, he went by what he thought he would want to know—this he’d want to know about.

Gaetano.I recall it in an instant, Gaetano’s nickname in the Outfit isthepharmacist.I have no idea why.But if he’s called the pharmacist, maybe he has a medicine cabinet full of something he could give me to get by.I hit send on the contact without thinking much more.

“Hello?”He’s wary.

I swallow down the fear.Lie and make it good, and he’ll help me.“Hey, um, it’s Bianca.I’m hoping you could help me out, or rather, my friend.I know you’re not a fan of her, but Kitty, she kind of needs something.And you were the only one I could think to ask.She’s, um, been taking Benzedrine from her doctor, prescribed by her doctor, and he, um, forgot to call in the refill before the long weekend, and she’s needing some just to get by for the long weekend.Do you have some I could give her?Or do you know anyone who she could get them from?”

He's quiet for a minute.Too long.Is he going to hang up?Does he know I’m lying?“Yeah, I do.Why don’t you come by, and I’ll give you what I have here.”

Thank god.“Okay, great.I’ll be right there.Text me your address, please.”

“I’ll send it now.”Is all he says before hanging up.

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