Page 19 of His Vicious Desire

“I was.She’s dead.”

The words are stark, without any hint of emotion.I’m going to hell for being relieved by his words.“Oh, wow.I’m sorry…” I don’t know what to say, especially when I’m not really sorry.

“Don’t be.I’m not.”A shoulder goes up, still not a hint of emotion on his harshly beautiful face.“I’m glad she’s dead.Don’t cry for me or her.Neither one of us deserves it.”

My mouth falls open, but no words will come out.That’s where he’s wrong.This man deserves more tears than I have inside my body.His mom tried to commit suicide on his birthday, then actually succeeded when he was still a kid.Twelve years after his parents met, so he had to be younger than twelve.Then his wife died.Whether he liked her or not, it’s a whole fucking lot to go through.

Gaetano hasn’t had an easy life.It was so bad he didn’t even want to talk about it with his own brother.A lot of people have a hard life and don’t deserve tears.I know he does because it was so bad he hides from it by escaping into books—the same way I do.

I don’t dare say any of that, though.

He slows on an old movie I loved and haven’t watched in years.It’s a humorous take on the action movies of the 90s, set in a sleepy town in England.

“This, please.I love this movie.It’s so funny.”

An eyebrow goes up.“Huh.”

Rolling my eyes, “I also likesomeDisney movies.I prefer to laugh rather than cry, and some of those damn Disney movies make you cry.And those romances always have them breaking up and then getting back together.How the fuck is that romantic?That’s another thing I don’t like about romances: the breakup.If you genuinely love someone, you don’t break up.You stay, and you figure shit out.”

He does that thing where he pushes air out that might be a laugh.

I shake my head, and the world spins.“Woah.”

An eyebrow is up.“It’s the gummy.I was wondering when it was going to hit you.”

Oh wow.I feel like I’m floating.“I like this.This feels better than…”

I’m not sure why I try to stand when the world keeps tilting to the right.Suddenly, I’m caught in Gaetano’s arms.He picks me up and walks me to his room.Hm, even with the gummy and floating out of this world, there’s still that electricity running through my whole body.

“Sorry, I should have warned you.My tolerance is pretty high.I wanted to knock you out—in case you didn’t behave, and I needed to get Sandro involved.”

I pout.“You’re mean.”

“Yep.”Is all he says as he sets me down on the bed.He’s unlacing my Keds, and as one large hand holds my ankle gently in his large hand, he slips it off far more slowly than I would.I wonder why he’s going so slow, and my eyes go from his hands to his beautiful face.

“You’re also really hot.Are all hot men assholes?Like, I’ve heard all super hot chicks are a little crazy.Is it because you know you can get away with it because you’re so hot?”I wonder aloud.

He stands and sighs.“Angel, I really hope you don’t remember any of this—for the both of us.”

“Hmm…I don’t think you are lucky enough for that.”

His laugh is bitter.“I sure the hell am not.”

He’s backing away from me.“Gaetano.”

Stopping, he sighs again.“What, angel?”

“Can you please hold me?I like the floaty feeling, but I’m afraid I’m going to float off the edge of the world into nothingness.”I hold out my hand to him.When he closes his eyes, I’m afraid he’ll tell me no.“Please, Gaetano.Just until I fall asleep.When you hold me, everything feels like it’s going to be okay, that you’ll keep me safe.Please don’t let me float away.”

With a groan, he nods.Happy he’s giving in, I attempt to move to the middle of the bed but the spinning has me clinging to the bed, certain I’m going to fall off it any second.

Suddenly, I’m back in the warm shelter of Gaetano’s arms with his hard body pressed up against me.My back is to him.No, I want to bury my face in his neck, to inhale him deeply into my lungs.

“No, angel.Don’t move.”The words are hard and sound funny.“No burying your face in my neck.This is how it has to be.”

“But you smell so good.”I blush as I realize I said it out loud.Oops.

“Yes,oops.”He mocks me.I can feel the words rumbling from his big chest against my back.

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