Page 31 of His Vicious Desire

Her head bobs to the sides like it does when she’s really happy.“Oh my god, he likes it.I wish I could record this moment.”

The brat is laughing like a maniac now.And for the life of me, I can’t stop laughing with her.Suddenly, she yawns, and I check my watch.“It’s past your bedtime.”

Sighing, she shakes her head.“You’re no fun, Gaetano.But ok, whatever, it’s my bedtime.Goodnight.”

The moment the door is closed behind her, I’m up and in the spare bedroom I’ve been sleeping in.In all of thirty seconds, I undress.Then I go into the attached bathroom and begin my late-night routine.I check the camera in my room.I’m aware I’m an asshole for putting it in.I don’t care.

Fuck she’s so beautiful.She’s still happy, her head bopping from side to side as she hums low to herself.Then her smile falls as she studies the pouch of gummies I gave her.I know she hates it.But since she didn’t take as many as she should have last night, she woke up in the middle of the night, and the sleep she got was restless.She sucks in air before slowly letting it out.I warned her that for sleep, she would need twice what she takes during the day to knock her out and give her good sleep.

Last night, I watched as she shook out what she should have taken before shaking her head and only taking one more than she was dosing herself with during the day.A dose, I’m almost positive she isn’t taking what she should.

Tonight, she counts out exactly what she needs and takes them with a grimace.I hate watching her go through this.Last night, I wanted to go into the room and force her to take more.I felt like I was coming out of my skin, watching her toss and turn and scratch unthinkingly.

I wish like fuck I had a silver bullet to take all of this pain and discomfort away.The closest I could get was knocking her out hard to sleep away as much of this as she was able.I’m not sure I blink as I watch her slowly slip into sleep.

Mere seconds after I’m sure she’s asleep, I take my own large dose to get more than five hours of sleep.Unlike her, it takes a little while longer to fall asleep, and I hate this time.This time allows me to think.To think of all the lies I’ve told today.To think of the way Bianca was so adamant that I needed to like my space, not simply put up with it.I would have endured her painting my place pink and not complained—whatever made her happy, I would do.

I was smiling at how angry she was when I told her that I would accept any old rug.And that’s how I fall asleep, smiling because of Bianca.

ChapterTen

Gaetano

I’m up at my normal time of a little after six in the morning.No matter how heavily I dose myself at night, it never allows me to sleep as long as I would like.

After I eat breakfast, I go into the living room and simply soak it in.I’m not sure what I’m feeling…all I know is I’m feeling something for the first time in a long time.A text comes through from Luca, apologizing for the disturbance while I’m ill, but there is a need for information that only I can provide.

Exhaling slowly, I go into my office while I fight the instinct to answer the text immediately.Too soon, and I wasn’t sick.Too late, and they’ll come to check on me.I’m into the system with a few strokes of my keyboard.I find what he needs easily.It’s only two minutes since he texted me.

I make myself wait twelve minutes before I respond I can get the information, I need a minute.Now, I make myself wait seven minutes before responding with the answer to his question.He responds with thanks and another apology for disturbing me with the hope I feel better soon.

Leaning back in my office chair, I sigh.My office is boring.A former bedroom selected because it was closest to my bedroom.It has the same white on the walls as the whole house.A paint color that was supposed to be changed after the updates were complete to the house before I moved in.Except I didn’t care enough about the paint to change it or anything else since I moved in.

Everything in this room is basic.I walked into the nearest furniture store, went into the area marked office, and bought the first set up that wasn’t glass—I don’t like glass anything.

The only things that are not basic are my chair and my computer.After I found the chair I bought from the furniture store lacked the support I needed for the long hours I spent at my desk.My computer setup needed to have a shit ton of room to hold all the history of what I do.While I also regularly copied everything I did to zip files, the core of what I did needed to remain on the machine.It’s also complete from Valdez—the same way all of our computers are.Firewalls and encryption kept all of our data safe in a way only his hackers could do.

My scrolling screensaver used to be the one the computer came with—until three months ago.Now it’s Bianca blowing chewing gum bubbles.I always hated the sight of the closet doors that were old-fashioned opening out and folding back.Two months ago, I covered them with a massive canvas of Bianca laughing as she threw back her hair.

A framed picture of Bianca sits on my desk, the only thing on my desk besides the plain black mat I got for my mouse so I wouldn’t have to buy one of those stupid little mouse pads.It’s also the only framed picture in the house.

I’m not concerned Sandro will see my office.He’s been here three times, and only once—when I was downloading information onto a zip drive for him—did he come into my office, by my invitation.

The only two people I’m concerned about seeing my office are Bianca and Dario.However, Dario was aware offices were off-limits in the Outfit, brother and also member of the Outfit or not.Estelle will finally have the answer to the questions she’s had since everything began appearing—I’m not looking forward to that.

I log into the feed for the camera in my room and find Bianca still sleeping, and I exhale in relief.The longer she sleeps, the better for her—and me.I can finally admit this was a whole hell of a lot harder than I first thought.Being with her every day feels like we’re a married couple living together.Except it’s not, and it’s getting harder to remember that.

Since I’m already in my system, I decide to get some work in.

Almost two hours later, Bianca triggers my alarm with movement.I pull up her camera to see her snuggling into her pillow.The smile on her face is so wide I wonder what the cause of it is.

Bianca

I’m wondering if it’s a bad thing to wear the same skirt I wore yesterday.It’s not the same skirt, but it’s the same style in a different color.I adore these skirts.These skirts are wrinkly, they’re supposed to be, and I love that about them.

Walking out of the bedroom, I find Gaetano in the kitchen.The sight of him has me smiling.

“Hi.”God, why does it have to come out all breathless like that?

---