Page 48 of His Vicious Desire

It’s midnight, and I’m chomping glumly on queso and chips when the door to the suite opens suddenly.

“Hey, what are you doing up?”Sandro sighs as he massages his neck.

I shrug.“I wasn’t tired.Just thinking…”

“Thinking about what?”He steals a chip and a sip of my soda and sits down across from me.

“I’m glad.I guess I don’t have to…you know, get married to anyone in the mafia against my will like that poor girl today.But what if I do…want to?”

Sandro’s jaw tightens.“Is it Johnny?”

Oh shit.I shake my head fast.“It’s no one.I was thinking out loud, like what if?”

An eyebrow is up.“What if, is I would kill him.I kill whoever thinks they’re going to have you living this life.You’re not in this.Not with anyone.If you don’t want to get married, you don’t have to get married.What you won’t do is end up with a member of the mafia.Do you understand me, Bianca?Please tell me you do, and I don’t have to kill someone.”

Oh my fucking god.Sandro would do it.Gaetano is his best friend, and he saved his life, but he would still kill him.I swallow a hysterical giggle because this is not my life—this isn’t real.A man I want as badly as I want my next breath will die if my brother finds out he wants me too.There is no having Gaetano and my brother in my life at the same time.

“Of course, I—you don’t.Never mind.I said I was thinking out loud.I’m not interested in someone in the Outfit.I’m not, and I never will be.I promise you that.”

His sigh is low and slow.“Good.That’s good.”Smiling, he leans over and kisses my cheek.“Don’t stay up too late.Love you.”

“I won’t.I love you, too.”I mouth the words to him.

With another smile, he’s gone.I stare after him, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do.And then the words are there: I’m not worth dying over.That’s the answer from Gaetano himself.I’m appealing to him in some way, but not enough for him to go against Sandro, and that’s his answer: I’m not worth it to him.I understand.I’m not mad, but I do resent him—as stupid as it sounds.

I resent the fuck out of his not thinking I’m worth everything to him.I would give up everything, everyone for him—without hesitation.And maybe I’m stupid for doing it, but I would.As much as I love Sandro, I know he doesn’t love me enough.I would love Gaetano with everything in me, with the last breath in my lungs, but he won’t do the same…so it’s not enough

Gaetano

I bring up the file with the best videos of Bianca and click on the one where she’s in her dorm late at night, touching herself while she moans my name.

God, she is so fucking beautiful.That mouth pouting and slick from her tongue slipping out from between her lips…so fucking sexy.I longed to reach out and touch her skin glowing beneath the nightlight.It’s guttural the first time, I barely understand it.

My name on her lips, her fingers are buried in her pussy.And she is thinking of me.She wants my fingers to be inside her, for my cock to take the place of those fingers.The way she whimpers her need for me is so sweet.

Freeing my cock from my pants takes four seconds too long.And christ, my hand squeezes to keep me from spraying my load too damn fast.One hand is up under the long shirt she’s sleeping in.“Gaetano.”

It’s a whisper I could hear as if she screamed it.I would die to hear it on her lips once more.I play it again as I work to keep from coming too fast, too damn fast.When it’s to her, those lips, that mouth, I can’t hold it in a moment longer and sigh her name as I find my release.

“There can never be anything to feel,” I say the words aloud, needing to hear them as I fall into a restless sleep.The words imprint on my soul as I fumble to the heaven of sleep and dreams of Bianca.

ChapterFifteen

Six Months later

Bianca

“What’s going on with you?”Joanna asks.

I shrug.“I didn’t get much sleep.I was excited you were coming back to Vegas for Christmas?—”

“Shut up, quit turning it around to me.I feel like a shitty friend for not picking up on it sooner.Here I was worried you were tired of me not getting back to you sooner.Except that’s not what’s wrong.What is happening with you?”

“I… I don’t know.”I haven’t told her anything.Not about Gaetano or the embarrassing addiction thing.It all felt so frivolous and stupid compared to what she’s going through to become a doctor.

“Start talking.You’re making me feel like a bad friend.I call you up at all hours of the day and rant and moan, and you let me, and I haven’t done any of that for you.”

Sighing, I give in.“I told Sandro how I wanted to work for the hotel on the strip when I graduate.He got upset and said it’s not happening.I’m not sure what the hell I’m supposed to do.It’s the plan.In fact, it’s the only plan I have.If I don’t work for the hotel on the strip, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.”

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