Page 49 of His Vicious Desire

Joanna is studying me like a bug under a microscope.

“What?”

She shakes her head.“Nope, that’s not all.Keep talking.”

Oh god, I don’t know where they come from, but tears I had no idea I was holding in come pouring out of me.And with them, everything that’s happened.

A long time later, Joanna is handing me more tissues.“Jesus, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.Now Ireallyfeel like a bad friend.”

“Whatever, it’s not like it changes anything.Because there is no way around any of it.Not Sandro killing Gaetano or Gaetano thinking I’m worth a bullet to the head.”

Running a hand over her face, she nods.“Yeah, I can’t… I don’t see a way around any of it.Other than you skipping out where Sandro can’t find you.It doesn’t sound like Gaetano is the skipping out type.”

“Exactly.It’s another reason why I didn’t want to talk about it.Talking about it makes it feel real.If I don’t think of it, it’s not happening.The only good thing is that I hardly see him.That’s why I, very stupidly, am going to the Outfit event at the main hotel.And I’m super nervous about it.”

“Why would you do that?”She gasps.

“I had too much eggnog with rum, and it bit me on the ass.Luca reached out directly to me to ensure I was aware he wanted me to come.”

“God, well, you know you can’t drink with him there.The last thing you need is to say something else.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”I snark at her.

The stare she gives me tells me I have no right being snarky.She’s not wrong.“Maybe it’s time to…you know.”

“What?”I’m confused.

“You know, hook up with someone else.Someone to get your mind off him.Move on.”

I flinch from the suggestion.The idea of another man touching me is gross.Shrugging, “I’m busy with school.I haven’t changed my plan.No guys until I have my degrees and a job.I don’t need to add a pain in the ass man to the mix.”

“Yes, you do.I’m not saying find the man of your dreams.They say you get over one man by getting under another.Maybe a golden retriever, cinnamon-roll kind of guy.”

I roll my eyes.“A golden retriever is still a dog.”

“Come on, it’s not like he’s sitting at home moping over you.”

“I know he’s not.He’s paying for some chick at the brothel.And what he’s paying for is someone who looks like me.”The words are out without thought.

“He pays for hookers?”Her eyes are wide.“How do you know they look like you?”

“Because he told me.Apparently, he has a thing for fat chicks.If nothing else, he helped boost my confidence.”I laugh when she smacks my arm.

“I can’t believe he said that to you.”

“He said he preferred women with curves, and it’s what he paid for.I wish I’d known that.The whole reason I left was because I was jealous when the chick called him to come save her, and he jumped to do it.She couldn’t be a girlfriend the way I thought, though, if he’s paying for it.”

More than a year later, I still ache with jealousy and hurt over the woman who called him.I’d wanted to scream from the pain of anyone else having a claim to Gaetano.How dare she call him?How dare he leave me for her?Then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to be there, and it was time for me to go before I forgot again.

“Maybe she was more important than a girlfriend.Like the one who got away.What if she’s the one who left him?”

“I don’t want to think about it.”The idea is making me nauseous.“I need you to help me pick out something to make him wish he was brave enough to go against Sandro.”

“I can do that.And before I go back to school, we’ll find you a guy who would be brother-approved.”

I force a laugh I’m far from feeling.

My stomach twists at the idea of going inside.Sandro isn’t happy I’m here.Whether Luca made sure I knew I was invited or not.He would prefer it if I were with Joanna in California—the same way I spent last Christmas and Thanksgiving.Except Joanna almost had a breakdown a few weeks ago when she came close to failing a class, so she’s here in Vegas for the holiday.

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