Page 67 of His Vicious Desire

My phone ringing has me rushing out of the shower.It’s Sandro’s ringtone.Not completely dry, I answer with a towel wrapped around me.

“Hello,” I don’t know what else to say.

“I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that.It was a matter of being so pissed I was worried what I might say to you.Now I can see that I should have had a conversation with you about how I saw my marriage would be before I left.No matter that I had no plans to marry and was not excited about marrying someone as young as she is.It was still my intention to treat her with respect and kindness, and I wanted you to do the same.You got things wrong about Carina, so did I.She’s not who she appears on social media.Carina will be my wife, and you will respect her place in my life.”

Wiping my eyes, I struggle to exhale and keep him from hearing my tears.If I do one more thing wrong, he’s going to kick me out of his life.He’ll walk away without looking back, the same as my father and Marissa.I’m not surprised, I always knew this would happen one day.Sandro loved me, but he didn’t love me enough to put me before the Outfit.I was always going to get tossed aside if it came down to me versus the Outfit.

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, it takes a minute before I can get the words out.“I’m sorry too.I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about her.I promise I’ll be good.Whatever you want.”

His sigh is low.“Good.I’m glad.I think you and Carina are going to have a lot in common and will get along great once you meet her.All right.I need to go.I’ll see you on Saturday.”

Ending the call, I shake my head.It’s already happening.I’m losing him from one single meeting with her.I don’t know if he thinks he’s in love with her, or if it’s because marrying the daughter of the Don of the Outfit will bring him the power he’s always sought.

Thank god for Gaetano.If Sandro gets to have the woman he wants, then I should be able to have Gaetano.I’m not stupid enough to think he’ll welcome what I will tell him with a smile and a pat on my head.It’s going to take some time for him to accept that Gaetano is what I want.I don’t care how long it takes, as long as in the end I get Gaetano.Besides, I have no doubt Sandro is tired of me—of taking care of me.He’s probably going to be ecstatic that I’ll be someone else’s problem and no longer his.

My phone alerts with a text.Excited, I check the text to find it’s from Natasha, wondering where I am.

Oh shit.I completely forgot about meeting with her today.What do I say?I’m not leaving.I need to be here when Gaetano gets home, so we can have an actual discussion.If I’m gone, he’s going to hide from me.

Fingers nearly shaking from being paranoid that Natasha will somehow know I’m lying to her, I tap out a message I hope she’ll accept.

I’m really sorry, I completely forgot about meeting with you.Can I please move it to another day?I’m helping a friend study for her final, and we have several more hours to go.

My stomach is flipping a thousand times per minute as I will her not to ask any more questions so I don’t have to lie.I’m not a liar because I think lying is wrong.I don’t lie because I have a shitty memory and lies are hard to keep straight.

Hey, sure.Not a problem

lmk what works for you.

I exhale the breath I forgot I was holding in.The air conditioning kicks on, and only now do I realize I stopped holding my towel around me and shiver.I need to do laundry for the bedsheets, the towel, and my clothes.Which means I need to find a shirt in Gaetano’s closet.

Opening the door to his closet, I’m once again struck by how full it is.In my first year psych class, I learned it was likely because he never had nice clothes as a child.So now he has bought everything he wanted and only has the best of everything.

I run my fingers over his dress shirts until I feel silk beneath my fingertips.Nice, it’s made of black silk.I hold it up to me and am relieved to find the tail of the shirt stops at almost an inch above my knees—perfect.Dropping my towel, I slide on the shirt and fumble with the buttons.In front of the mirror, I giggle.It looks like a very expensive shirt dress.Good to know in case I forget to bring a change of clothes.

Surveying the bed, I sigh.That’s a big ass bloodstain that appears vibrant against the snow white of the sheets and comforter.I go into the small laundry room to see if the washer is as small as I remember it.Yep, I remembered it well.I’m going to need to wash the comforter and sheets separately.At least there was only blood on the sheets.Starting the machine, I have to go hunting to find the bleach.A few pours until I think it’s probably a half cup of bleach, goes in before the soap pod thingy.

Almost four hours after I woke up, I have eaten twice and washed everything.I’m even back in my clothes.I’m beginning to wonder where the hell Gaetano is when my phone rings with his ringtone.

Before I can open my mouth, Gaetano is snarling at me.“What are you still doing there?”

I love this man, but he’s working every last nerve I have.“I’m not leaving until you’re here and we can have a discussion about what happened.We need to talk about how we’re going to ease Sandro into accepting us.”

“Bianca, I apologize for giving in to the desire I have for you.It was wrong on almost every level.Sandro isn’t going to shrug and say he’s happy for us.He will kill me and ship you off to an all-women's university.There is no discussion to have.”

“Bullshit.You freaked out because now that I know you wanted me as badly as I’ve wanted you, you can’t keep lying to me.I’m not going to let you pat me on the head and push me away.Aren’t you tired of hiding and pretending?”

“Go home, Bianca.It’s going to be another long night for me.”Without another word, he ends the call.

Bastard.I’m going to kick his ass when he gets home.

Except the bastard never comes home.I give in to exhaustion a little after two in the morning and fall asleep in bed wearing the silky shirt I wore while I was waiting for my clothes to wash and dry.

I wake up on my own a little after nine to find Gaetano never came home.Rolling over, I stare at the ceiling pondering what my next move is.He’s not going to come home until I leave.What is the matter with me?Am I like a fucking masochist or something?This man is going to do everything he can to push me away because he’s now aware he can’t fight me.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I wonder if I’m really going to do this?To be the one who pushes us forward?It’s not fair.I have to fight Sandro and him.Is it worth it?I open my eyes, but I don’t see the ceiling.All I can see is the wonder in his eyes as he needed to affirm it was no dream.Yes, damn it.It’s going to be worth it in the end.

ChapterTwenty

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