Page 93 of His Vicious Desire

Bianca

The first appointment is scary.I’m not sure why I’m terrified what I did will be discovered.It doesn’t help when Gaetano asks questions.

He’s so excited and happy about the baby, guilt is building.“It’s not going to hurt the baby, her taking birth control pills when she didn’t realize she was pregnant?”

The doctor is super sweet.She’s not my original doctor, so I give the story that kind of matches up with the history.I was taking the pill, but ended up pregnant anyway.The way Kitty said, no one questioned it because it happens so often.

“Oh, yeah.Baby and mom will be fine.It happens a lot.Sometimes women have taken their pill the morning they find out they're pregnant without knowing it.”

His sigh of relief has me forcing a smile.

It’s confirmed I’m eight weeks pregnant.Relief hits me.This was always meant to be.He got me pregnant the first night.Thank god.

I’m bummed because Gaetano has to work, he’s simply going in late after the appointment.Once I’m home, Estelle is waiting with baby clothes she couldn’t ignore at the store.

“You and Gaetano,” I shake my head at the pretty pink dress.“I’m worried he’ll be mad when it’s a boy.”

“Oh, please, he’s not going to be mad.He will be disappointed, but he’s not going to take it out on his son or you—if you have a boy.Gaetano is going to be an amazing father.He already has been.And this time he won’t have his fool father getting in the way.”

“He mentioned his dad wasn’t…up to things.”I’m curious because Gaetano won’t talk about him.

Rolling her eyes.“Please, Gaetano called him a functioning alcoholic.I think functioning is a stretch.If it wasn’t for Gaetano, the Outfit would have probably killed him for his…” She shakes her head.“Dario was the only light in the family for years.”

I chuckle over Dario.It sounds like the person who loved to tease Gaetano every time he came over.Dario had been here twice for dinner and was ever the youngest child, funny, charming, sweet, and a smartass.He was like a fun, younger brother that I always wanted.

“I’m a little worried though the way he doesn’t like to talk about it with me.”I’ve tried, but he always shut it down.He didn’t want to discuss it, it happened, nothing could be undone.It wasn’t important.I didn’t dare press him.“What if?—”

Estelle shakes her head.“I’m not worried about the child thing.You’ll be here, and in the end, he’s going to love that child because it’s from you.What I’m worried about is you.”

I’m stunned.“I’m not afraid of Gaetano.He would never hurt me.”

“Not that way, my dear, I don’t believe he would ever physically hurt you either.But that wife of his, she fucked him up.”Her lack of expression tells me more than her stark words do.“I’m worried because he does his best to believe he has no feelings.I think he gets it confused with him not feeling anything, two different things that almost mean the same thing.Be patient with him.He does love you something awful.I’ve never seen him so happy as he is with you.”

There are some days when I wonder if I’m still dreaming.But no, when he spanks me, the sting is enough that I know I’m awake.I try to be a good girl, it’s not my fault he’s more fun when I’m not.

Of course, there was a snake in the garden that I didn’t see.I’m leaving Kitty’s place.I have found excuse after excuse to avoid her.Lately, she seemed different.It’s been two months since the night I married Gaetano and saw her.However, I knew I couldn’t keep putting her off unless I wanted to cut her off.Idiot that I was, I wasn’t ready to do that.Until she stopped me with her hand on the door before I could close it.

“I need money, a lot of money.”The words are abrupt but rehearsed.This isn’t unplanned.

“What?”I dare her to repeat them.She can’t mean this.

Rolling her eyes, “I need money, bitch.You have plenty of it and I need it.I might have gotten a little carried away at the tables.With this, it will pay off my debt and allow me to get straight.”

“Jesus, Kitty.Gambling.You’re going to lose every penny I give you.No.Fuck it.”

She blinks once, twice.“What?Are you sure about that?Wouldn’t want your sweet hubby finding out you lied and got knocked up on purpose.He’d hate to know that.”

Ice pierces my chest, and I wonder if I can breathe through it.“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Please, I would in a heartbeat.”She rolls her eyes.

“You do that, you’re signing your death warrant.He will kill you.”It’s a warning.I have no doubt what Gaetano will do—this isn’t a way of trying to keep her from telling him.It’s a warning to save her damn life.

“Oh really?Let’s find out, shall we?One hundred grand by the end of the week, Friday.Or I visit your husband.”

The whole way home, I’m fighting back tears.There’s nothing I can do that won’t end with her dead.If I admit it, the way I should, he’ll know I only did it under duress, and he’ll know it was her.I do nothing, and she tells him, he’ll kill her.

That night, I’m able to put off my inability to focus as stress for our four-month appointment tomorrow.Being pregnant felt so weird, not only the whole growing a human thing, the way it was a different language almost—everything went in weeks combined with medical terminology.

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