Page 97 of His Vicious Desire

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Why does it matter to you?”

Shit.“I’m sorry.I didn’t mean to be so harsh.I was worried about you and the baby.”

“Right.The baby you can’t stand?—”

I grip her arms tight and bring her up against me.“Don’t say that shit.Because it’s not true.Boy or girl, I want our baby.I want you.It’s the way this all happened.It feels wrong, like something is going to happen to mess it up because I don’t deserve you.What I did to Sandro keeps me up and unable to accept that I get you and a baby.My one dream, I thought, would never come true.”

Tears are streaming down her face.“It feels like one more time you’re putting your friendship with Sandro before me.I don’t know if I can trust you again.You did the one thing I never thought you would.You hurt me and I don’t believe you won’t again.”

Those tears are clawing at my gut.I wipe them away.“Me either, I didn’t want to hurt you with what I might say, but I also couldn’t stay away from you.It's like Joanna betraying you.Think of that, the friend you’ve had since you were a kid—knew almost your entire life betraying you.That’s how this is to Sandro.He promised your mom on her deathbed for fucks sake.A deathbed he was responsible for?—"

“What the fuck are you talking about?Sandro wasn’t responsible for my mother’s death.My mom was a functioning alcoholic my entire life.I don’t remember a time when I didn’t smell alcohol on her breath.She would tell me constantly not to tell anyone about the bottles around the house.And she was like that because of my father.It’s why I wasn’t really surprised when he didn’t come home after she died.I figured his guilt kept him with the woman he cheated on her with, which caused her unhappiness.”

“Your father cheated on your mother?He adored her.I don’t understand.”I’m lost.I wouldn’t believe it if anyone else told me.

“My mom told me several times when we were home alone at night, and she was deeper in the bottle.A lot of times, she was talking to talk, it felt like.She said he cheated on her, and she caught him.He swore he would give up the woman.Then, he begged her to have a baby so they could be a family again.I don’t know, I guess he assumed she would have another boy.But even before my mom was pregnant, he was back to fucking the other woman.My mom hated him.Well, she said she did, but I don’t think she really did.I think she wished she did so she could stop hurting.”

Jesus, how did Sandro not know any of this?

“He would come home late, and they would scream at each other.That’s how I heard her say she regretted me.If she hadn’t had me, she would leave his ass.Her life was simpler without me and now she had to take care of me all alone when she was older and more tired and how he was a bastard because he didn’t have to do a damn thing for me.No one wanted me, ever.I’ve always been an obligation, from my dad, to my mom, and to Sandro.”Tears are pouring out of her and I’m pissed I can’t kill anyone for hurting her.

“Hey, I want you.I’ve wanted you since the night I met you.Even when it was wrong and I shouldn’t, I wanted you.I want every part of you, your crazy, beautiful mind and your sexy as fuck body.”

Those chocolate eyes are desperate to believe me, but it’s clear she doesn’t.“Even if I’m having a boy?”

Damn it.I meet her eyes head-on.“I want a little you.That’s why I want a girl.I’ll take a boy and be happy.All I care about is that I get you too.”Taking a deep breath, I give in.“I need to show you something.”

I unlock my office and open the door wide for her to follow me inside.Her eyes roam over the room.Chocolate meets my eyes in wonder.Then I go to the bottom cabinet and pull out the box of papers and place it on top of my desk.With a wave of my hand, I indicate for her to go through it.She finds the journals where Mary wrote her married name, which covered twenty pages.

Her gaze meets mine."I don't understand.All this time.That picture is from the second week on campus.Yet you still went without doing anything about it?"

Sighing, I unlock my phone and find the file.I hand it to her, praying I haven't fucked everything up."That was all I thought I would ever have of you.You in my bed would never happen again.I was never going to tell you.As long as I had the memory and pictures of you, I could get through a day.For the last three years, I've only come to those pictures of you and the video I got from your dorm room."

"What about the women you've paid?—"

"It was a lie.I tried.But she didn't look like you.She wasn't you.The idea of touching her left my cock soft.I didn't want her.So I set her up with the lash business she always wanted to open in L.A., so I could use it as an excuse not to see a woman at the brothel.Everyone knew it was the only way I was with a woman.You aren't mad about the pictures?"I can't believe it.

A blush washes over her cheeks and down her neck."Nope, I guess I'm just as messed up as you are.Because I think it's hot.Sad you thought this was the only way you could have me, but also seriously hot that you wanted me this much to take a crazy, messed-up chance. If all this is true, why have you been so..."

"I was afraid you were like Mary.That you would want more than I could give you, and you would grow to hate me.I've loved you since the first night I laid eyes on you.You were perfect, sweet, and so very innocent.You deserved better than me.Yes, there was Sandro.There was also the fact that I'm not good at this love thing.I'm going to hurt you again, and it terrifies me because now that I've had you, there is no letting you go.You have my whole heart, even though it's broken and dark.There is no me without you."

"Gaetano, you idiot.I've loved you from the beginning.All I needed was for you to talk to me.I'm not stupid enough to believe we're going to be cotton candy and unicorns.You're going to drive me crazy, and I'm going to turn around and repay you.But I love you, you love me, as long as we keep talking, we'll be okay."

"Promise?"I work to get the word out.

"I promise."Her arms go around my neck to pull me tight to her.

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Gaetano

After Bianca is out for the night, I can’t stop thinking about all the ways to get ahead of problems we could have.I’m going to do everything in my power not to fuck this up again.Checking the time it’s still relatively early.I make a call to see where Sandro’s at and decide there’s no time like right now.

I jump in the shower and give Bianca a kiss before I leave.Up until now, I’ve given Sandro a wide berth—letting him guide the relationship.I don’t think we’ll ever be the way we were before, but I’m hoping somehow we could become friends again sometime in the future.

Sending a text to Sandro, I let him know I need to speak with him—about work.

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