She may already have done that, but I don’t say that, instead I say, “Food is the way to a man’s heart.”
“And I’m a feeder.”
I’d like to feed her my cock, but I can’t. Her bruising has only gotten worse as the hours have rolled by.
“We should make them,” she declares excitedly, and I know she’s trying to get me to enter the house. “But we can’t make them without the recipe.” She sings her last three words, drawing them out and making her own tune. “We can make new memories in there and talk about the old ones. I want to hear everything about her.” Stepping forward, she holds her hand out in invitation. “Let’s do this. Together.”
Her hand in mine is what it takes for me to push the key in the lock to open the door.
Deep breath in, I step over the threshold and look around. In over a year, nothing has changed. It’s like a time capsule and I don’t feel as bad about being here as I thought I would.
My thinking was overriding the doing.
I can be such an idiot at times.
Sun shines through the windows, directly onto Gretchen’s reading chair. It’s like a beam of light illuminating her happy place. Books stacked on the side table in the same place she left them. The place is brighter than I remember.
And nowhere near as gloomy as the thoughts that have been living inside my head.
It’s weird being back. Everything’s the same, but completely different. And she’s not here. I almost feel like an intruder in her home. Our home.
It still smells like her; clean and fresh like laundered linen and pine. The wooden flooring beneath my feet that she spent hours choosing, and I laughed at her for… feels like so long ago. And yet, it was important to her. The tone is exactly the right shade of oak she wanted.
The positioning of the television, and the framed photo of us on top of the real wood fireplace. It’s all her.
“How are you feeling?” Kali checks in with me.
“I’m fine.” I think.
“Keep breathing.” Her hand is still in mine as we stand in the open doorway. I don’t get a whiff of any bad vibes, which I thought would make me want to run away.
“This is beautiful, Wade.” In awe, her mouth spreads wide in a smile. “Is everything handmade?”
“Yeah.” From the kitchen to the staircase and the doors, I gave Gretchen everything she wanted. She hated that at first, but I didn’t back down and forced her hand. Told her we would moveback into my grandfather’s house and in with my mother if she didn’t tell me what she envisioned her dream home to be.
Exactly the way she described, it looks like the house we’re standing in.
The months it took to remodel were worth it.
It made her happy.
“This place is super clean,” Kali says quietly, as if not wanting to disturb the furniture.
“I have a maintenance company visit every week to dust and keep the place shipshape.”
“You think of everything.”
I suppose I do. “Gretchen would be mad at me for not keeping the place nice.”
“Gretchen would be mad at you for breaking Zane’s nose,” she says, dryly.
“I am proud of you for breaking Zane’s nose.” Zane will be mortified that a woman kicked his ass.
When Kali was in the shower earlier, I called Marcus to find out how Zane was. I feel sorry for him. He technically lost his job. Not that it will affect him. His dad will float him for the next year or so, make sure he gets the help he needs, and he’ll be back on the team before we know it.
He needs counseling more than I do.
Turns out I’m not that wild after all. Zane should claim that title.