Page 113 of Wild Blades

“I could barely look after myself when you left me,” I say out loud again, hoping she hears me, wherever she is. “How could I look after a child?”

A small part of me believes Amelia dumping me and Gretchen dying all around the same time was for a reason. To send me off on a path of self-destruction. To bring Kali to me. Because now I have this sensational woman in my life who rocks me to my core and kisses me like I’m a soldier heading off to war.

And she’s here with me now and yet I feel like I’m pushing her away. One mention of the word babies and it has me freaking out.

She didn’t say she wanted them with me, just generally speaking.Could I be her someone special?

I don’t know if I could be that man for her, but I would like to try. Maybe.

It’s so confusing.

Life is hard. I’m so fucking lonely at times.

“You’re not alone anymore, Wade.” Kali’s voice breaks my self-inflicted meltdown, and I realize I must have said my words out loud.

“I fuck everything up. I should be.” I can’t bring myself to look at her.

Warm arms snake around me from behind. Her lips are on my neck and the way she kisses me always feels like she’s putting me back together, one piece at a time. “I’m here for you.”

“You’re paid to be here.” I regret saying those bitter words as soon as they leave my lips.

Her arms leave my body. I miss her instantly.

Storming across the kitchen, she’s out the door faster than a bullet out the barrel of a gun.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Kali

“I’m sorry.” Wade apologizes, sitting down next to me on the boardwalk, where I’m sitting with my feet dangling above the water.

“It’s fine,” I lie.

“It’s not fine.”

It’s not. His words hurt me.

Watching the boats sailing far off in the distance, I can see why Gretchen loved it here. Cocooned by trees on either side of the house, it’s like an exclusive sanctuary.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Wade mumbles.

“We all say things in the heat of the moment.” I sigh, feeling exhausted. Normally full of energy, after last night, I don’t feel so great today. “I’m here because I want to be. I’m not being paid tobewith you.” Which sounds sordid. “I’m paid to write articles, organize interviews, elevate your social media presence, and seek out publicity opportunities. I’m working for the team, for you, because I’m good at my job. Leon might be your agent, but Marcus knows his strength doesn’t lie in public relations. That’s why he brought me in. Leon is better at investments, filing your taxes, and finding new avenues of income sources for you. Ash,Joe, Thomas, Lola, we’re all playing to our strengths to support you. Me coming here today has nothing to do with work. And everything to do with how I feel about you.” I add, “And the stuff about babies and being a dad. No one knows what the hell they are doing or if they are capable of being a good parent. Like life, we are all fumbling around and learning as we go.”

“I never considered having a family before. Until you,” he confesses, looking at me, then looking away as if embarrassed.

“Really?”Wow. He’s playing for keeps, which makes me light up inside.

“I like the thought of you pregnant with my baby.” He cups his crotch, smiling. “Makes me hard.” He laughs and I laugh too as he lightens the mood.

Holy shit.

“That’s never happened before, Kali. I never wanted, or considered a family before, but I want everything with you.”

Well, double shit.

I’m speechless, but he fills the gaps my brain can’t. “I know we’ve just started dating, but I’m not scared of facing anything with you by my side.”

His words make me realize that we’re both in this for the long term. That he sees a future with me. Feeling slightly dizzy and weak at the knees from his confession, my heart skitters in my chest. I take his extended hand in mine and swoon when he kisses my knuckles.

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