Page 157 of Wild Blades

“A bit.”

“What do you think would help?”

Kali. I need Kali.

“I don’t know,” I lie.

“I think you do know. We’ll skip that for now. Is being here helping?”

“It’s too quiet.”

Joe looks around. “Gives you too much space to overthink everything.”

“Yes.”

“So, why are you still here?” His brows dip.

“I feel closer to Gretchen here.” Which I do, but it’s a lie that Thomas sees right through.

“Do you though? Or are you using that as an excuse to hide yourself away?”

“The second one,” I admit.

Joe leans his elbows on the dining table and looks at me with genuine concern. “Why?”

“I’m embarrassed.”

Thomas doesn’t accept my answer. “You’re also using that as an excuse.”

I shake my head, not agreeing with him. “I wasn’t myself the night I found out. I said things I shouldn’t have. Accused people of things that weren’t true.” I know this now. It’s slowly beginning to sink in. “Kali did what was best for me, but I’m still trying to work out how I fix it with her.”

“With words.” Thomas smiles. “And time. This is huge news for everyone involved. There is no easy fix or simple way around it. It’s a journey you will all go on together. But it has to be together. It’s the only way to connect you all, and you have to be honest.”

“I miss Kali,” I confess, dropping my voice, the gravity of the words almost too much to bear.

“Distance won’t help.” Joe says the most obvious thing I know to be true.

“I know.” With each day that passes, the resistance grows stronger not to go back. It’s becoming harder and harder. And my brain spends hours each day over analyzing the minutest details from that evening.

“Admitting you got it wrong can be simpler than you think,” Thomas interjects.

“This is a nice house.” Leon plonks himself down next to Thomas. Then we’re joined by Brayden, Buster, and Ash, who slides a plate of grilled cheese in front of me. “Eat,” he instructs. “When Lily and I broke up, eating was the only thing that helped me for the first few days.”

“Hey, I thought we were the ones who helped you?” Buster punches his shoulder before shoving a mouthful of food into his own mouth.

“You guys are animals with zero table manners,” I mutter before I pull a smile. I actually like them being here. The mood has changed completely. I feel lighter.

“And you have zero self-esteem.” Brayden pulls his phone from his pocket. “Marcus tells me you think you made the team due to nepotism?”

“Let us show you why you were drafted, Wade.” Ash takes the phone from Brayden and hits play on a video. “This is why.” A tape of me scoring goal after goal, drills, fast footwork, speed training, reel after reel of video clips play from one into the other. “Remember, seven other NHL teams wanted you. But the Eagles wanted you more. You were told this at the time, but for some stupid reason, you’ve apparently forgotten. And you only ever wanted to play for the Eagles. You have tunnel vision when it comes to the Eagles. They are all you see.” Ash points at my food again. “Eat. I played with you the year you were drafted before I became an assistant coach. Then I had the honor to watch you grow into an incredible player when I became head coach. I believed in you. Why do you think I spent so much of my own time trying to bail you out of jail?” He points at the screen and yells excitedly. The love for the game he has is contagious, “Fuck, did you see that goal? You are fast, my friend,” he mumbles around his food and stops the video, then adds, “You don’t see what we see, but you’re no ordinary Eagle. You are special. You have passion.”

“Loyalty.” Brayden backs him up.

Buster adds, “And resilience. Your ability to play after Gretchen passed away shows how determined you were to show up, even when you shouldn’t have.”

“That’s called stupidity.” Leon laughs at his own joke. “You should have had time off then.”

“That’s called having a great work ethic,” Thomas says, grabbing a bottle of water from the middle of the dining table.

---