Page 25 of Wild Blades

His eyes scan whatever he is looking at, which I can only assume is feedback from my support team.

“Attendance is good. You’re putting in the work. Ash is… really happy with your progress, as is Joe. And Thomas… only four sessions? There should be six.”

“It took some persuasion for me to go.”

Marcus lifts his eyes to mine. “Are they helping? I know it’s possibly too soon to say, but how are you feeling?” The lines around his eyes crinkle, mouth tense, the genuine concern he has for me doesn’t go unnoticed.

“It’s… fine. I’m okay.”I think. “I’ve stopped drinking.” And that’s a sure sign of how dedicated I am. Having that contract in my hands changed everything. I hope Kali shredded the fucking thing.

He points to his screen. “I know you have because Lola checks in on you at random times of the night, ensuring you don’t go out when you’ve said you are staying in, and she sweeps the room for bottles.”

I rub my chin and let out a huge sigh. “She doesn’t need to do that. I’m not a drunk.” I don’t want to go into detail, but Marcus lifts his eyebrows high, almost hitting his hairline as if asking me to further explain. “I did it before to help me forget. I’m doing other things to help me with that now. Yoga, meditation, visualizations. I’m enjoying them more than I thought I would.” I pause before joking with him. “Zane is safe.”

He chuckles. “Good to hear.” He gives me a thumbs up. “So triggers are lessening, but is there anything specific that’s come up recently that you’ve felt out of odds with?”

It’s too deep to share.

“You can trust me, Wade. Look what I’ve put in place to help. I only want what is best for you.” He hesitates as he seems to rethink that last word. “For the team.”

I give in and tell him, “It’s my second Thanksgiving tomorrow without Gretchen. The first one and Christmas was… lonely.” Awful, horrific. Drank too much and felt shit.

“You spent them alone?” His face turns gray.

I nod a yes.

“Wade.” My short name sounds full of deep sympathy on his lips.

“It’s okay.” But I never want to spend another holiday by myself, so I am taking my teammate, Jordy, up on his offer to go to his mom's tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

“The holidays are about family.”

“I don’t have one.” My voice heavy with sorrow, I feel sorry for myself for admitting this. The team is the closest thing I have, and I’m only close to a couple of them. Jordy is my closest friend. Younger than me, he’s way smarter. He’s a great guy.

His mouth drops open in shock. “You don’t speak to your mother at all? Why?”

“I avoid her at all costs.” I’m better off without her. “She wasn’t a very good mother,” I say without meaning to, but fuck it, I’m certain everyone knows what a class-A fame-starved princess she is and that only has room in her heart for one person: herself.

“This is news to me, Wade.” His deep frown tells me he’s struggling with that information. “Has it always been this way?”

“She barely spoke to me when I was growing up. Gretchen raised me. Have you ever seen her at my games? Family days? Mother’s Day?”

“I thought Gretchen just stood in for your mom when she couldn’t make it. Like the day you signed your contract, she was busy.” He shakes his head in apparent disbelief.

Where the fuck did he get that assumption from?“You’re wrong about that. That woman is selfish to the core and only cares about herself. She never wanted me.”

There’s a long stretch of silence between us.

“I can’t believe what I am hearing, Wade. I am so sorry.”

What’s he sorry for?“It’s not your problem.”

“Your well-being is my problem.” He rubs his finger along his bottom lip. “Was she abusive?”

“Physically, no. Verbally, yes. Every day, I was told I was worthless. She was clever at hiding it around her friends.”Sneaky bitch.“She’s a very good actress.”

“Wade… I… What can I do?” I’ve never seen Marcus struggle to find his words before. “Would you like me to set up mediation between the two of you? Would that help?”

“Absolutely not.” I’m a little too firm with my reply. “Sorry.” I hold up my hand in apology. “Thank you, but no.”

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