Page 25 of Jacob

The facts are difficult to hear because he’s right. “He couldn’t even be bothered to get you a fucking birthday present!” he roars. “And if you’d looked closely enough, you would have realized it was me who bought you those gifts. Who else would have known about the rucksack you love or the earrings from the New Zealand jewelry designer?” He points his finger into his chest, his voice booming. Dropping his gaze, he runs his hand over his face before looking at me again, his voice softer as he delivers his next line. “I pay attention to every little detail about you because I’m in love with you.”

As if not quite believing the confession that just left his lips, his eyes bulging, he stumbles backward, almost falling over.

Hot tears spring up in my eyes.

“Love me?” The words catch in my throat.

He spins around to leave the hot tub.

“Please don’t go,” I beg, moving quickly and resting my hand on his tattooed shoulder. Goosebumps cascade across his skin and I hope it’s from my touch and not the falling outside temperature.

“You were too blind to see it,” he says, but he doesn’t turn back to face me as he speaks.

“And you were too scared to admit how you feel.” I keep my voice low and calm.

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter now.” His voice is almost inaudible.

“Jacob, look at me.”

His body remains facing away from me as if he’s too scared of what might happen if he turns fully, but he twists his head, looking at me over his shoulder.

“All these years?” I’m almost too astonished for words.

His broad shoulders sag. “From the first day you walked into class, I knew then.”

Fourteen years.

“And we can’t ever be together because of a stupid rule all three of you made up when you were just kids?”

“Exactly.”

“And what if I want more?” My hand is still on his shoulder and I run my finger over the black ink that sits beneath my thumb.

He stops my movement and lifts my palm from his skin, releasing his grip quickly. “I can’t keep saying this over and over, Skye. It’s too late.”

“Did Owen know you had a crush on me?”

The sound of the city below, the honking of the horns, and the emergency service sirens fill the air as I wait for him to answer.

“He did.” He pauses as we let the weight of this conversation settle around us. “That’s what’s fucking with my head. I’m mad at myself for not stepping up and being the man I am now, but Owen knew. I stopped sharing the names of the girls I liked at school and university when Owen was around. When you two would split up, he seemed to make a competitive sport out of trying to get the girl before me. And he always did.”

His sad emerald eyes have lost all their sparkle. “I need to learn how to fall out of love with you. You have to let me.” His voice sounds almost strangled as he speaks.

“Please don’t say that.” The tears I’ve been holding back since this conversation started break free, running down my cheeks.

“C’mon, Butterfly, don’t cry.” Jacob reaches up and thumbs them away. “I didn’t mean to upset you and I didn’t mean what I said about you letting Owen treat you like shit. I just want you to know you are worth more. You deserve better. Unfortunately, like I keep saying, I can’t be that man.”

I watch him walk back inside the penthouse, the bright light of the living space illuminating the delicate sky-blue butterfly tattoos covering his back and shoulders. They move across his sculpted frame as if fluttering through the vivid blue clouds branded into his skin. I’ve never seen his tattoos in detail before, so I gasp as I take in the decorative words cleverly threaded among his artwork that I missed before. The words he said to me years ago.

‘Whatever, however, forever.’

He loves me.

11

SKYE

I fidget awkwardly with the handle of my coveted backpack. The one I now know Jacob bought for me.