Page 31 of Jacob

“Let me finish what I need to say.” His eyes drop for a moment. “I’ve had a few girlfriends, you know I have, but none of them ever felt right and it always felt like I was cheating on you. That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.” Embarrassment reddens his cheeks, reminding me of that skinny, shy sixteen-year-old boy.

His eyes close. “The way I feel about you.” A long sigh leaves his throat. “It hurts loving you. Knowing that you can’t be mine when that’s all I want. I want your morning smiles, to hear your laughter fill every space I am in, to hold you, douse myself in your magic. But I can’t do any of that.”

I’m too stunned to reply. My heart is about to burst for this man.

His deep voice vibrates in my veins when he says, “I don’t know how to fall out of love with you. And if I’m honest, I don’t want to.”

I don’t want him to either.

He looks up at me again.

“Owen is mybestfriend. He’s always been there for me. Annoying as he is, he always stuck up for me at school, and he taught me how to do stunts on my BMX. He even taught me how to tie my shoelaces.” He studies my face. “He’s my boy.”

“Your ride or die?” I keep my voice low.

“Yeah.” He gives a soft nod. “Plus, he’s troubled right now, and he won’t speak to me or Lincoln about it, but I know he needs us.”

“He won’t speak to anyone, Jacob. You should know this by now.”

He clears his throat. “He let something slip the other night when he was drunk. He said he was getting married.”

Shocked to my core, I yell louder than I planned, “What?”

“I don’t know anything other than that and the fact that her name is Evangeline.”

“Evangeline Muircroft?” I exclaim, almost laughing at how predictable his mother is.

“Who’s that?”

“One of his mother’s friend’s daughters. She’s like ten years younger than him.”

“Are you upset?” he questions quietly, as if he’s nervous about my reply.

“Yes, but not in the way you think. I’m mad at his mother for making him marry her. Poor Owen.” I’m so glad I’m out of all that. I was not suited to that role.

“Not about Owen marrying someone else?”

“Hell, no. Owen is just a friend,” I reassure him.

“Like me?” he asks, and I can’t decide if he’s offering it as a reminder that we can never happen or a question to discover if I’ve forgiven him for everything he’s put me through this week.

“You’re a great friend, and you’re also my boss.” Disappointment flashes across his face, and his thumb stops tracing my skin. “But I think I might want more with you, Jacob.”

“Do you mean that?”

I shuffle closer. The only parts of our bodies touching are his hand in mine, but I can feel the heat emanating from him, lighting me up and filling me with a burning desire.

I nod. “I like being loved by you. And all those things you did for me. To make sure I was looked after. The gifts feel even more special now, knowing they came from you.” I release my hand from his and rest it on his scruff-covered face. It’s much softer than I thought it would be. “You are a very special guy and I would really like to exploreus. It could be kind of wonderful.”

His eyes, full of emotion, shine back at me, almost as if he can’t believe what I am saying and he covers my hand with his. “I have to speak to Owen and tell him the truth,” he says in a gentle whisper. “Lincoln thinks he’ll punch me in the nuts.”

That makes me giggle. “Lincoln knows?”

“And Violet. Lincoln guessed about a year ago, then he told Violet.”

“I wish you had asked me out on a date first,” I admit.

“Me too,” he whispers.

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