Page 44 of Owen

She bobs her head twice, slowly. “He’s wonderful, but no one, not even himself, has ever allowed him to shine.”

Her words trigger my vulnerabilities. “You don’t know him well enough to say that.”

“I do. I’m a great judge of character and I feel like I already know him, because he shared part of himself with me last night, something he rarely does, if ever.” She plays with the wavy hair at the base of my neck, curling it around her fingers, hypnotizing me with her touch. “He told me since the day he was born he was expected to be, act and do everything a certain way. Never allowed to make his own decisions or carve his own path. So he gave up trying; with his girlfriend, his friends, family, work.”

As if someone turned down the noise levels, the crashing waves around us seem to stop, reflecting how she makes me feel: calm and steady.

She’s got me all figured out.

What a woman.

I’m enchanted by the way she’s looking at me with her big blue eyes, and brick by broken brick, she dismantles the wall I’ve built up around my heart. “He may have been selfish in the past, but he’s trying to change. He thinks he’s being selfish by running away, except for the last year he tried to do what he thought best to bolster the family business and maintain its legacy. All while he was dying inside.” She rests her hand overmy heart. “He knew deep down in here”—she taps the center of my chest—“that love and people can’t be bought, but he was doing what was expected of him, even at the cost of his own happiness. His cousin told me everything today, including that his mom and dad married as part of a business deal. His sister did too and his mother did nothing to protect her children from their inevitable fate.” She shakes her head in disapproval. “Loving your children unconditionally, protecting them—” She stalls, as if emotion is building in her chest. “Love should be freely given, not bought or exchanged. She should never have put you in that position.” Her eyes turn watery. “Love and marriage are sacred. They mean something. They allow you to form a bond that no one else understands. It’s limitless and transcends intimacy. It’s about being partners spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Marriage is not a tool to be used to bargain with, and the guy I’m talking about knew that, too. So, he broke the cycle.”

So many emotions I’ve been holding on to expel through my next breath, suddenly making the tight muscles of my chest loosen and relax. “He did,” I exclaim. I fucking did. I broke the chain.

Jade lays her forehead against mine. “Love is about feeling that connection… that feeling that you can’t ignore.”

My voice cracks. “Fate.” I know what she’s getting at.

“Kismet.” She smiles confidently. “Us meeting. We were predetermined. I know it because I feel it, Owen. Destiny, on the other hand, is whatwechoose to do from this moment moving forward.”

Always one to be cautious with my heart and feelings, I decide to be honest. “I don’t know what happens next. I have nothing to offer you.”

“One day at a time, Owen.”

“I have to start again.”

“Press the reset button and start here.” She looks over her left shoulder, up at the towering rock. “Tonight, under the moonlight, you’ll start your own legendary story. Swim around the rock and make it mean something specific to you. Not legend or folktale, not myth. Give your swim meaning.”

“To find my purpose.”

She twists to face me again. “Set an intention and let it go. Hand it over to the deities and demigods. You’re in the perfect place to ask the Greek gods for help, guidance, support. Anything your soul desires, Owen. Just ask,” she whispers, quietly adding, “Swim once. Let inspiration come and ideas percolate. Swim twice, then, and only then ask for what you want. And don’t be specific; go general. Ask for happiness, feeling good, comfort, the perfect job, a bed to sleep in, a home, but no detail. Let the gods and goddesses do the work for you tonight. The last swim, release and unattach yourself from the outcome.”

She renders me speechless. I’m at a loss why she thinks I am worthy of her time, or why she brought me here to do this.

“It’s time. Your time,” she says.

I gasp when she unwraps herself from around me, fully exposing me to the freezing temperature of the water, making me shiver.

As I look out across the now calmer water, right on cue, the clouds clear, exposing the full moon, its light dappling and twinkling across the surface of the waves.

“Full moon forgiveness.” Jade pushes herself through the dark water that looks like liquid ink.

My body brews with emotion and excitement at taking the first step along a new pathway, and even if Jade’s mumbo jumbodoesn’t work, I join her, slicing through the sea, as if carving my highway.

“What does full moon forgiveness mean?” I ask, choosing to swim breaststroke so I can keep my head above the water and navigate in the dark.

Jade is clearly spiritual and as the only woman to make the cut on a highly male-dominated team, I’m guessing she uses positive mindset rituals, like this one she is having me do, to push herself, to make every day matter, and grow.

Breathlessly, as we get close to the rock, she tries to keep her voice level as she continues to swim. “Forgive yourself for your past, forgive others to help you move forward, let go of any grudges, shed the hurt you feel or have placed on others. Fully forgive to let the good in. The full moon is all about completion. Let the cleansing energy of the moon water bathe you.”

“You’re so weird,” I say, laughing nervously. I want to believe her, but at the same time, I can’t help pooh-poohing her hocus-pocus.

Coming to an abrupt halt, unable to touch the bottom of the ocean, she treads water to circle around, spraying water in my direction. “Do you trust me?” She looks fierce, the fire in her tangible.

“I barely know you.” If I’m being honest with myself, I feel like my heart knows her, and she’s what’s been missing from my life.

“Oh, you know me, Owen, you know you do.” Her eyes roll as she calls me out. “Ask, believe, release. Trust the process. Go.”

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