Page 112 of Body Check

But Dakota held on, his gaze steady as he looked into Gavin’s eyes and after a moment, he stopped fighting. If he wanted, he had the strength to overpower Dakota but he didn’t want that. He didn’t want it at all. He wanted to stay here in Dakota’s arms whether he deserved it or not.

“That sounds like a horrible situation,” Dakota said softly. “And I understand why you and Thad have such a complicated relationship now.”

“By the time Thad truly understood what was in store for him, what years in prison would look like … it was too late.” Gavin swallowed hard. “And there’s no apology in the world that will ever make up for what I did to him.”

Dakota sighed, his expression turning conflicted. “Yeah, you fucked up, Gavin, but he made his choices too. This isn’tallon you.”

“Isn’t it?” Gavin swallowed.

“No, it isn’t.” Dakota’s tone was firm. “And I think you and Thad need to really sit down and talk.”

Gavin laughed hollowly, sitting back. “I don’t even fucking know what I’d say.”

“Have you ever told him you’re sorry for the way things turned out?”

“Of course!” Gavin said automatically but he paused, a trickle of worry flowing through him as he began to question it. “I—I must have, right?”

TWENTY-FIVE

“So what happened with your parents after all of this went down?” Dakota asked, because he wasn’t sure how the hell to answer Gavin’s question about if he’d properly apologized to his brother. “After Thad was arrested and went to prison?”

His heart ached for both Gavin and Thad, and all they’d been through. What a horribly messy, complicated situation.

“Ugh.” Gavin tipped his head back and sighed. “They told me I’d destroyed our family. Called me selfish.”

He swallowed hard enough Dakota could hear it, his throat working for a moment before he spoke. “They told me never to come home. That I was dead to them.”

“Oh, Gavin.” Dakota reached out, threading their fingers together and squeezing. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you blame them?”

“Yeah, I do,” Dakota said. “Because they should have listened to you about what actually happened.”

He shrugged. “They already believed I was a lost cause, that my behavior was out of control. This was proof they were right.”

“Okay, but …” Dakota shook his head. “They should have believed you that Thad falsely confessed.”

Gavin looked away. “They never gave me the chance to tell them.”

“Well, they should have given you that!”

“Why? I’d already proven what a fuckup I was.”

“You were still their kid!” Dakota protested. “They should have given you a chance to tell your side of the story.”

He shrugged. “Even if they had, I doubt they would have believed me when I’d already lied to them a thousand times. About where I was going and who I was with and what kind of shit I was up to. They had no reason to trust me.”

“Gavin, why do you want to see the worst in yourself?” he pressed.

“Because I don’t deserve any better,” he snapped.

“Of course you do! Jesus, haven’t you gone to therapy or anything?”

“Uh, for a while, yeah.” Gavin swallowed. “But it wasn’t until later. After I was done playing hockey.”

“Okay.” Dakota frowned. “So what happened there?”

“I, uh, I played for Montreal Thunderwolves AHL team for a while. My head was a mess, but I kept trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing, doing it for my brother, you know? I managed to do well enough to get my cup of coffee in the NHLbut I—I felt so fucking guilty the whole time. I didn’t deserve to be there. I should have been in prison and Thad should have been skating for LA but instead, I was living my dream, and he was rotting in some cell. It was so fucked up. My play went to shit and I … I couldn’t fuckingdoit any longer. The guilt was eating me alive. I was actually fucking relieved when they finally sent me back down.”

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