Page 113 of Body Check

Dakota squeezed his hand.

“It all fell apart after. I spiraled. I went back to the partying and the drugs and the fucking around. I figured what did it matter? What was the point of anything? Needless to say, that didn’t exactly impress the team, and after it was clear I was totally checked out, they let me go.”

Dakota frowned. “Wait, but there’s the player assistance program, right? They help guys who are struggling. Weren’t you eligible for that? Or did that come after your time?”

Gavin managed a faint smile. “Calling me old again, huh?”

Dakota shot him a look. “You know I’m not.”

“No, the program had been established by then. But it’s voluntary. You have towantto get help. And I—I didn’t. Not then, anyway.”

“Oh.”

“So the team let me go.”

Dakota winced.

“Yeah, that went about as well for me as you’d expect. Things got even worse for a while. I was on a path to self-destruction until …until my former AHL coach—Norman Hardy—tracked me down in the off-season.”

Gavin smiled faintly. “Norm showed up at my front door and dragged me to a diner by my ear. I confessed some of it and we drank shitty coffee while he lectured me that I was disrespecting Thad by behaving this way. I didn’t—I didn’twantto hear it at first. Didn’t want to listen to what he said. But he—he had this gruff way about him. He was caring, but he didn’t tolerate any bullshit and something he said—it finally got through my thick skull I was … I was going to end up in prison or dead if I didn’t change something.”

Dakota offered him a small smile, reaching out to squeeze his hand again.

“Norm told me if I wanted to change, wanted to start over, he’d help me. He believed there was more to me than being a fuckup, a washed-up draft bust. And that’s how I found myself living in his spare room. He got me cleaned up, got me working out regularly again, and seeing a therapist. Once he was sure it was sticking, he pulled some strings to get me a position as an assistant scout.”

“He sounds like quite the guy.”

“He was.”

“So, do you feel like the therapy helped?”

Gavin nodded. “Yeah. For sure. I was able to get my life back on track. I got my own place again and Norm and my therapist, they convinced me to get a business degree.”

“While you were still working as a scout?”

“Yeah.” Gavin laughed ruefully. “I about killed myself trying to juggle both, but I did it. I suppose that’s when my overworking habits really kicked in.”

Dakota scoffed. “Oh, like you weren’t already driven? Come on, any kid who makes it to the NHL must already have a serious work ethic.”

“Sure,” Gavin agreed. “I did. But I took it to the next level then. I channeledeverythinginto remaking myself, my life, my image. I got fit again, I started doing all this self-improvement stuff. I wanted people to see the new me. I wanted toproveI’d changed.”

Dakota nodded.

“After I had my degree, I was able to move up to a full-time scouting position, and then assistant GM with Concord and then, eventually, to the position I have now.”

“What you’ve done, it’s impressive,” Dakota said softly.

Gavin smiled faintly. “I couldn’t have done it without Norm.”

“Do you still stay in contact with him?”

“I did until he died last year.”

“Ahh, I’m sorry about that.” Dakota stroked his thumb across the back of Gavin’s hand.

“Thank you. He was a good man.” Gavin shook his head slowly. “He was wrong about one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

---