Page 22 of Open Water

“Yes. I assume you gave him my number.”

“He told me to tell you to back off. I told him to do it himself. Along with your number.” Max snorts and walks over to the fridge, taking large gulps out of the orange juice carton and Tom just sighs. Whatever. He does it himself. “What did he say?” Max is smirking. His eyes twinkling with laughter.

Tom can’t help letting another embarrassed smile escape.

“Told me to fuck off and never contact him again. Tough. I now have his number.” Tom smiles triumphantly and raises a hand to high five his son who slides effortlessly back into the chair,shoving a handful of crisps in his mouth, chewing and spitting crumbs all over the table.

He might have the worst table manners in the history of table manners, but Max is laughing and Tom will gladly make a complete fool out of himself every day for the rest of his life if this is the reaction he is going to get.

“So maybe you should text him back? Say, sorry about the flowers and that you are a complete novice at trying to woo the love of your life and that you have a lifetime of mistakes to make up for and that you love him and want to do indescribably dirty kinky shit to his body and …” Max has kind of run out of steam whilst Tom is banging his head against the table top.

“Please don’t mention cock sucking. I can’t talk about cock sucking. Not yet.”

He doesn’t mean it. Really. He has questions about cock sucking. Questions that are totally inappropriate to ask his son and that Google has been most unhelpful in answering.

“Maybe you should ask Lukas for advice? Say you have no clue about sex and need some tips?”

“No.” Tom groans, his head still flush against the table, banging his forehead against the hard surface in a steady rhythm that does nothing to help the fucking confusion swirling around in his brain.

“Tell him you need to get laid. And that there is only one person you want to get laid with. Go on, Dad. Live a little. Release your inner slut.”

“I’m not a slut. I am a grown-up and the last time I got laid, I made you.”

He can’t believe he said that out loud. That he admitted to it.

“Really?” Max is speechless. For once. Just staring at him. “Seriously? And your dick is still attached to your body? It hasn’t just shrivelled up and died from neglect? “

“Can we change the subject?” Tom squeals. Because this is not a conversation he is prepared to have right now. Honestly.

“No, Dad. So, let’s get the facts straight. You have been in love with Lukas since you were a teenager. But you went out and shagged around. With girls.”

“I shagged my girlfriend. Then I shagged your Mum. Two girls,” Tom corrects, then dies a little. He needs to stop talking.

“And how many boys did you shag?”

“Shut up.” Here we go. Grumpy Tom is back.

“So, zero men. And you still like the idea of shagging Lukas?” Max is leaning back on his seat. Looking serious. Like he is discussing world peace or something.

“He is the only person I have ever truly been in love with. And I was so bloody young, I have no idea if I am still in love with him, or if it’s just a ridiculous idea in my head, that I would still be. That he would always be the one. The one I was destined to be with. The love of my life. I just want to get to know him and see if there is something there. I can’t do anything else. If I don’t, then I will go crazy wondering what if. What if there could be a happy ending to this mess? What if he gets to know me and realises that I am nice? That I would love him if he let me. That maybe he would learn to love me too if we just tried?”

“So, in other words you are desperate. Pathetic, Dad. There are things out there you know? Like Grindr.”

“What’s Grindr?” Tom is hanging onto Max’s every word.

“This app where you can put in what you like and what kind of blokes you fancy, and people put pics of their dicks, so you can kind of see what you are getting. Then, you meet up and shag. Easy.”

“And you do this?” Tom almost squeals out. “Fuck Max, you are grounded. You are not going out meeting strangers in some back alley just so you can get some dick. Absolutely not. I forbid it.”

Yeah. He’s doing the ‘pathetic attempt at proper parenting’ thing again. Waving his arms around glaring at Max, who is just laughing.

“I would never in a million years use Grindr. What do you think of me? I can’t even make friends and have a panic attack whenever I have to ring and make a dentist appointment. Do you seriously think I would manage to go through with a hook-up?”

Tom breathes. In. Out. Yeah. Suppose not. Thank God.

“Don’t,” he says sternly and pokes his finger at Max. “No Grindr.”

“But you are a fully grown adult and there would be loads of really hot blokes willing to teach you to suck cock if that’s what you want. “

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