Page 37 of Open Water

LUKAS: You are a fucking idiot who I have spent my whole life trying to forget and you just won't leave me alone. I hate you and I hate what we did and I hate that you are still here.

LUKAS: Why are you even here?

LUKAS: I fucking hate you.

LUKAS: I hate everything.

LUKAS: I’m going to block you now you fucking idiot.

LUKAS: I’m so fucking drunk.

LUKAS: TUBRG beer you arsehole.

Tom would have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that he knows exactly how Lukas feels. Trying to numb out reality by drinking like a fucking teenager and ending up sobbing his heart out into a pillow. Or throwing up in the bathroom. Lukas was never a drinker.

TOM: Lukas, I’m trying to make it right. I am here for you if you ever want to shout at me. Or talk. You can hurl abuse at me all you like, I will still be here if you need me.

LUKAS: I don’f fxing need you Tomr

TOM: Yes, you do.

LUKAS: Need yo like f hole in my hed

TOM: Go and drink some water. If I was there I would make you throw up the last couple of tins. Please just drink some water and go lie down and get some rest.

LUKAS: You’re not herr.

LUKAS: Here.

LUKAS: You’re not here. Can’t make me do anything

TOM: If I was there I would give you a hug. That’s all. Stroke your hair until you fall asleep. I did that once, remember?

LUKAS: Dick.

TOM: Yeah. I know.

Tom sits in the dark by the kitchen table and waits for the reply that doesn’t appear. He drains the last of his glass of wine and shuffles carefully out into the hallway. The room down the hall is quiet, so he assumes all is well. They’re almost adult boys. And it’s not like they are going to get each other pregnant. Or something.

Whatever.

He hobbles out of his jeans and sits down on the toilet whilst he brushes his teeth with his phone still in his hand. Hoping. Just a small goodnight would settle him down. He would even settle for another round of abuse if that is what Lukas can offer. Anything.

His screen lights up and Tom almost chokes on his toothbrush.

Because right there in front of him is a blurry picture of a man’s genitals. Sent from Lukas. At 22.03. To him.

Well, he supposes he deserves it. He’s a dick. And Lukas just sent him a dick-pic. Yeah. He’s read up on Grindr.

At least, Lukas is still alive and hasn’t choked on his own vomit. And it’s a nice dick. Even Tom can get on board with that.

He spits out the toothpaste in the sink and rinses his mouth out.

He’s upping his game tomorrow. This shit is about to get real.

MAX

I’ve always had really vivid dreams, which I think kind of goes hand in hand with the rest of my brain's inability to be remotely normal. Normal people don’t have nightmares to the point where they throw themselves out of their beds, or try to climb out of windows in the middle of the night. Yeah. I’ve done that. Not just once. But the one I am having now is seriously fucked up.

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