Page 78 of Open Water

“We’re definitely doing this then?”

“This?” Tom’s face is now all the way up in Lukas’s neck. Breathing him in. Smelling him. Sniffing and almost scenting him. Little kisses landing all over his skin. It’s hard to resist the urge he has to take his top off. Secretly hoping Tom will too. Just so they can have some skin. And to be honest, he wants to see Tom. Feel him. Touch that little curve of his chest. Feel the skin on his hips. The softness of his stomach. He wants it. Quite badly, if he’s honest.

“Us. Our family.” Lukas can’t help it. He tugs at Tom’s t-shirt. Pulls a little, so he can get his hands under the fabric, stroking up over the warm skin on Tom’s back. Gripping his fingers around his shoulder.

“Yeah. Of course we’re doing this,” Tom grunts. His voice a little strained. “This is what I want. Having you here with me, and us being together. You sure you want to? See if we can do this? See if I can make you fall in love with me for real?”

“Yeah,” Lukas whispers. Too many words. Too many truths.

They lie there in silence. Just holding onto each other. The coffee in the cups on the nightstand has long gone cold. Just breathing softly and Lukas’s eyes are heavy. Like he can go to sleep like this. Sleep solidly, dreamless and heavy, all safe with someone else to look out for him. Not having to think, and deal with the frankly terrifying truth of what he has done. Because there is no going back now.I love you,sitting firmly at the tip of his tongue. He just needs to say it. Make it real. Cement this thing.

“Lukas?” Tom whispers. Like he is testing if he is still awake.

“Mm?” Lukas says back. Letting his hand move around to Tom’s hip.

“Erh. I just... Mm…”

“What, baby?”

“Baby.” Tom’s giggle is cute. “I’m your baby, now, am I?”

“Yup. Baby.” Lukas giggles back. “What’s the matter?”

“Boner won’t go down. I can go sort it out in the bathroom, but I can’t sleep like this.”

The little laugh Lukas lets rip is liberating. Poor baby.Oh Tom.

“You are not going anywhere. Tom, Jesus, just let me take care of you.”

“You want to do that?”

It’s sweet, almost too sweet for Lukas. Who can’t stop smiling as he rips Tom’s shirt over his head, almost gasping at the perfect chest in front of him. Tom is smooth. Totally smooth, with dark brown nipples that Lukas has an instant urge to lick. Like candy. Fuck him, he’s gorgeous. Like he hasn’t always been?

“Do you want me to blow you? Or, I can just kind of jerk you off?” Lukas and small talk. Yeah right. He’s no better at the sex talk. Seriously. He kind of blushes at himself and Tom now looks all unhinged, his eyes dark and stormy and he’s obviously swallowing the words he is desperate to let out.

“Fuck. Please. Whatever,” Tom pants, and Lukas just kisses him. Long and lazily whilst he lets his hand wander down Tom’s chest. Circling the areolae around his hard nipples. The softness of the skin making the hairs on his neck stand up. He’s going to have to go slow here, or he might just hump himself shamelessly into an orgasm.

“What do you like?” Lukas pants as his mouth starts a trail of open-mouthed little kisses over Tom’s shoulder. Softly licking the skin over his collarbone. Tom is wriggling all over the place, holding Lukas’s bicep in a cramping grip with one hand, with the other hand covering his eyes. Almost like he is ashamed of himself, when he shouldn’t be. And maybe this is just too much. Maybe this is wrong. And maybe Lukas should have thought before he pretty much threw himself at the guy who is clearly terrified beneath him.

* * *

TOM

“Tom, baby, just relax. Just lie back and let me take care of you, because you are all tense. There’s no need, it’s just me.”

“That’s the problem!” Tom almost cries out, becausethis is Lukas. This is fucking Lukas and Tom is about to disgrace himself by freaking out, instead of being the suave distinguished sex-God of an almost forty-year-old he would prefer to pretend he is.

“Shh.” Lukas takes Tom’s hand and pulls it away from his eyes. “Look at me.”

Which is terrifying.

“I can’t think of anything I would rather do right now than to just plaster myself all over you and then give you a blowjob until you scream. Honestly, I haven’t had sex in a long time, and I am totally out of practice and you are like my fucking wet dream lying here looking all flustered.” Lukas sounds like he means that. And Tom squirms.

“We don’t have to do anything. I mean that,” Lukas continues, his voice soft and kind as he leans down placing his hands on either side of Tom’s head. He is probably trying to calm him down, when in reality, he is just making Tom want to run away. Screaming.

“I’m going to come the minute you go anywhere near my cock,” Tom pants out. His head spinning, muttering that Lukas is too close. Lukas, who is now ripping his own t-shirt over his head, exposing his own pale chest.

“I’d probably come just watching you do that.” Lucas laughs softly. “And that would solve all our problems. We could just turn over and go to sleep then.” He re-positions himself, straddling Tom’s chest, wearing just some goddamn tight orange briefs. Oh fuck.

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