Page 79 of Open Water

“You are my wet dream. Just look at you, baby.” He whimpers and has to swallow again to deal with the saliva pooling in his mouth. He’s not quite sure where his bravado is coming from, churning out shit like that, when all he wants to do is turn over and burst into tears.

“What do you want, baby? Because it’s completely up to you. I won’t do anything that you are not comfortable with, and if you just want to lie here and let me kiss you that is absolutely fine. There are no rules here.”

Fuck you, Lukas.Tom wants to shout it in his face.Don’t ask me, just fucking do it. Anything. Something. Please.“Touch me?” he croaks out. Begging.

“Where?” Lukas says, quietly, letting his lips bounce softly against Tom’s mouth. It drives him crazy. Bloody teasing little shit.

“Here!” Tom almost shouts, grabbing Lukas’s hand and slamming it down over his crotch. Making him wince with the sensation of it all.Oh God help me.

“Hand job?” Lukas says carefully, like he doesn’t want to scare him, because Tom is terrified. Almost on the verge of one of Max’s panic attacks. It’s not good. It’s no good at all. All he can do is shake his head. He’s the king of the mixed signals. Saying yes and then saying no.

“I know this is all new and if you have ever made the mistake of watching some of the simply awful unrealistic porn that is all over the damn net, then I wouldn’t be surprised if you have all kinds of fucked up ideas of what I expect us to get up to.”

“Anything,” he whispers, but Lukas just shushes him. Anything doesn’t mean anything.

“Baby,” Lukas says sternly. “Sex should be fun.” He has to stop himself and run his hand through his hair to kind of find the right words. “Sex is just ridiculous. It shouldn't be scary or frighten anyone, it should be whatever we want it to be, weird and silly and well, whatever.”

He smiles. It is.

Stupid and awkward.

“But Tom, you have to trust me, I will never ever hurt you or do anything you are not ready for. I’m not going to fuck you, and I won’t let you fuck me until we are good and ready for anything like that, and only if you actually want to.Ifyou want to. We don’t have to doanything, baby, so just let me kiss you and touch you and make you come.Ifthat is what you really want. Don’t worry about anything else. And feel free to touch me right back, butfuckTom, you don’t have to do anything. All you have to do is lie here and be you, because you are fucking beautiful, and just being here with you is making me happy. Okay?”

It’s a lot of words to deal with, coming from Lukas. Too many emotions. But it feels right, and in some strange way makes Tom feel safe, like he’s okay to just be here. Exist. Just to look after Lukas like he desperately wants Lukas to look after him. Just love him. And be loved back.

“I’ve dreamed about having you, like this, naked in my bed, for as long as I can remember, and now that I finally have you here, I don’t know what to do,” Tom almost whispers.

“That kind of gives me some massive performance anxiety.” Lukas laughs. “I’m no expert. I mean, I’m kind of out of practice.”

“I think I will like whatever we do.” Tom smiles back, looking a little bit more relaxed. “I just hope I won’t be a disappointment to you.”

“You? A disappointment? I think I should write a book about us. I mean, you have kind of been the most over the top, funny, ridiculous person trying to get me here, and I expect nothing less for the future. You’re going to have to work hard to keep up this thing you have going on. The presents, the chocolate, the over the top text messages that made me cry.” Lukas lets a little giggle escape. “The sappy shit that comes out of your mouth should make me cringe, but I love it. I really do, Tom.”

“Can’t help it. You just make me feel all these things.”

“Then just let yourself feel, baby,” Lukas whispers back, his mouth back on Tom’s lips. Tiny soft kisses against his skin whilst Tom’s fingers tug at Lukas’s hair. “Let me take care of you.”

* * *

LUKAS

So, he does. Because Tom is all stretched out underneath him, and Lukas kisses his eyes closed. Lets his fingers stroke over the delicate eyelids to try to emphasise that this is all he needs to do. Relax. Feel. Let go for once.

It’s addictive, the smell of Tom’s skin under Lukas’s lips. Tiny strokes of his fingertips. Hardened nipples against the tip of his tongue.

He kisses down his stomach, the soft skin moving up and down with Tom’s ragged breaths. Wheezy little moans that go straight to Lukas’s cock. He loves this, taking someone’s first time. Yet, this time it’s different. He almost feels guilty even thinking of it, because this is Tom, and he doesn’t deserve any of Lukas’s fucked-up thoughts. Not a single one of them. Because, however much he has hated the guy in the past, he can barely remember it right now. All he can see is the man who makes him feel like he is worthy. The man who, in a strange way, has seen right through him and offered him the world. Tom loves him, and Lukas loves Tom right back. Which should make Lukas want to run away at a million miles an hour, yet Lukas doesn’t. He wants to be here. He wants to be loved and belong and give and feel. Just like this.

Tom does it himself, skims out of his boxers with a few wriggles, letting his hands fall back on Lukas’s shoulders as Lukas allows himself to look. Just takes in the view beneath him. Tom’s stomach taut, moving with short shallow breaths, balls drawn tight nestled in dark pubes, and that cock.

Lukas feels like he should revert to religion. Say a swift little prayer to the God Almighty of Cocks who has let him have this, because he wants to thank whoever sent Tom back to him. Whoever made him persist, and made Lukas see sense, becausefucking hell, Tom has a perfect cock. Long and thick and just the right size to fit into Lukas’s mouth it seems. Because Lukas doesn’t waste time swallowing him right down to the root, his gag-reflex luckily remembering how to chill out when it comes to having close encounters with nice-sized dicks.

“Fuuuuucckckkkkk,” Tom screams from above and Lukas jerks off in fear. Maybe it was too much, too soon. Maybe…

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence before he gets hit with the first slash of warmth across his cheek. A second one following landing splat on his chin, as Lukas’s brain finally catches up and swallows Tom down for the third hit that coats his tongue with the familiar flavours that makes Lukas reach down between his own legs. Tug hard.

“Me… I want…” Tom pants out, his hand snaking in under Lukas’s shoulder, tugging hard.

“Up here.”Oh fuck, yes please.His face is coated in come. His cock already in the game. And Tom rolls on top of him with a confidence and force that makes Lukas’s head spin. God help him.

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