Page 83 of Open Water

“You could ask her if there are any good lesbian movies we could watch? Likereallygood stories with smut. The girls all like smut. Like sex scenes and stuff, and we all write fanfiction. Do you read fanfiction? Some of it is really good. I can send you some links. Are you on Insta? You should follow me. I’mHedywritessmuton there, or my other account is for Teen Wolf, it’s pretty awesome, have you seen it?”

Someone needs to gag Hedda. I would do it myself, but she is kind of holding onto my arms and jumping up and down on my thighs again which is kind of freaking me out.

Sverre just laughs and shakes his head.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” He laughs and looks over at Tilda, who finally seems to have calmed down and is talking to someone on the phone. In Norwegian. So, I am assuming it’s not Matteo. I think. I’m confused. I need to get to French. I need a pee. I need a fucking hug from someone who is not Hedda. Or maybe Hedda. I kind of don’t care right now, because Hedda looks a little crushed.

“You should still come to the Queer group, because there are not enough blokes there. Us girls need some inspiration. I mean, Max here is my main muse, but we are always happy to ship some new couples. Like, have you got any hot gay friends you could bring?”

Trust Hedda not to give up. I kind of like her. She has no fear. Like, she just spurts out these things with no regard to what she is actually saying. It’s kind of sweet.

“No hot gay friends, that I know of. Sorry. But, can I ask you something?” He’s kind of nice, this Sverre, whoever he is.

“Anything.” Hedda purrs, and puffs her chest out and I splutter out another subdued giggle.

“Your friend, Tilda. Is she single?” he asks quietly, and glances over at Tilda who is pacing up and down the hallway.

“Tilda?” Hedda stutters out. “You fancy Tilda?”

“Well…” Now Sverre is blushing. I kind of dig this, being totally ignored as they are having this embarrassing convo right in my face. “She’s fit. And I have a thing for redheads. But she is always hanging around that skinny bloke with the fringe. Are they a thing?”

“Skinny bloke with the fringe is my boyfriend,” I snarl, maybe sounding a little too harsh.

“He is. Matteo and Max are my OTP. They are so cute. You should see them. All in lurve.” Hedda swoons and I feel myself blush a little.

“What is an OTP?” Sverre is back to that confused look, and I’m kind of craning my neck trying to sit up so I can follow this.

“One True Pairing. You know, couples who are just goals,” Hedda gushes excitedly. “Matteo loves Max. He told me. Max is the man of his dreams, and he is going to marry him one day. And he told me I have to look after Max here when he is not around, and make sure nothing bad happens to him. It’s my job, kind of like a bodyguard, looking after my friend’s boyfriend.” Hedda smiles sweetly at me like I’m a baby and I kind of grimace back at her in disgust.

“I’m not a baby, Hedda. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself,” I grunt at her, and she pats my head.

“Of course, you are, Dickhead. Because lying in a corner having a panic attack on your own is so much more fun than sitting here with a bunch of cool people getting a load of gossip. And hugs. Look, you are getting hugs. Cuddles. MMMMmmm.”

Yeah, now I have boobs in my face again, fighting with Hedda’s arms trying to get out of the death grip she has around my neck. Sverre just laughs at us. He’s an arse. I have changed my mind about him. Totally.

“Matteo is in gym class. Reim is going to go find him and get him to ring you. Are you okay, Max?” That’s Tilda. On her knees next to me.

“He’s fine now,” Hedda says, and pats my head.

“All good,” Sverre says, matter-of-factly. Smiling at Tilda. Yeah. He fancies her.

“Tilda, this is Sverre. You need to go out on a date with him, seriously. He’s really cool. And he is joining the Queer group, because his Auntie is a lesbian,” Hedda says proudly and Sverre looks like he is regretting every life choice he has made in the last fifteen minutes.

“Really?” Tilda laughs, not looking shocked at all. “So Sverre, where are we going on this date? And before you tell me, please tell me you have a hot mate who can put Hedda here out of her misery? I mean, she hasn’t got a date for the graduation party, and she is kind of desperate.” Tilda smiles sweetly at Hedda, who suddenly looks like she is out to kill someone. Like Tilda.

“Sverre, mate, I am warning you now. Run. Run as fast as you can. These girls are vicious.”

That’s me. I mean, I have seen what these girls can do when they get their heads into something, and I have zero doubt that if Sverre stays for a minute longer, he will be in the Queer group classroom on Tuesday and on a date with Tilda with no chance of escape. Which is kind of a good idea. Maybe.

“Scrap that,” I continue as they all stare at me. “Take Tilda on a date. She’s a nice girl. Treat her right, or Matteo will have your balls on a plate. And Tilda, he seems like a nice bloke.” I shrug my shoulders and grin.

I have no idea where my bravery is coming from, but these people are kind of cool. They are totally cool with me, somehow. Like I can crawl around on the floor in a state, and yet, they are still here. Talking to me like nothing is remotely wrong with me. Well, apart from that most of the time they totally talk over my head and Hedda still has her arms around me and I am definitely not into these boob things in my face, but…whatever.

“Fuck, Max, we are like super late for French. Totally late. Come on!!” Suddenly Hedda is scrambling off the floor, dragging me with her as I desperately try to get my rucksack off the ground.

“Good to meet you, Sverre,” I kind of hiccup out whilst Hedda gives me a look.

“Nice to meet you too, Max,” Sverre says. Like he means it. Like, ‘Let’s follow each other on Insta and maybe say hello when we pass in the corridor,’ kind of means it. Maybe. I haven’t thought about it before, but he looks nice. Genuine. Tilda just nods politely at me and I try not to shoot daggers with my eyes. She’s okay. But I still hate her. I hate that Matteo loves her. I hate that he slept in her bed and not mine.

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