Page 15 of Baking Battles

Wednesday feels almost normal as Mattias skips down the metal stairs to Studio B. Everything is normal. He has no uninvited houseguests, his bed is his own, and his life is, well, a little stressful.

He’s in his own casual clothes, having been knee-jerked into letting Julian and Halvor handle today’s departmental meetings. He doesn’t particularly like it, but it’s not like he can be in two places at once, and to be honest he has been up for hours already, trying to get the hang of today’s challenges. He knows this stuff now, and he giggles at himself as he gets scooped up by one of Caroline’s hugs. Her perfume’s almost overpowering against the electrical smells of burning coming from the technical team test running the equipment for today's shoot. He will ace it today. It’s all basic skills and easy recipes. He can do this, and he knows what the finished result is supposed to look and taste like. At least the way he remembers it. Easy peasy. Piece of cake.

Well his mood isn’t helped by the fact that Pablo is unloading some serious display plates out of his bag, lining them up on his workbench. Nor is the sight of Paulina’s rustic baskets, or the obvious pieces of driftwood lingering next to where Jacob Slagsvold is tugging at his hair, mumbling to himself and rearranging his paperwork. Recipes. Timings. All things that Mattias has memorised to perfection, and he kind of didn’t think of the display things, now hoping that there is enough stuff in the prop room to find him some kind of Christmassy plate for his buns.

“Lussekatter Day!!!” Christopher shouts loudly over the chatter and noise, shooting Mattias one of his blinding smiles. Mattias doesn’t quite know what it is, the thing that makes his body react to Christopher. Almost like he likes it. Like he likes the fact that Christopher Pedersen,TheChristopher Pedersen, likes him enough to remember that Mattias exists. It’s flattering in a way. Nice. Well, apart from that his face is blooming red with the blush that creeps up all over him whenever Christopher is around. It’s bloody ridiculous, and Mattias takes a deep breath and quietly reasons with himself, to calm the fuck down. He’s not the kind of guy who hangs around with celebrities. He doesn’t really know who some of these people are, even though that Ida has friend requested him on Facebook, which will no doubt have Sara straight on the phone to him the second he accepts that one. Normally, he would ignore it and just delete it. It’s not like Mattias is a fan of social media. He’s only on Facebook to catch up with what is going on, and to laugh at Sara’s ridiculous party photos. Because, in a strange way he likes to see her happy, having fun, not so angry and disappointed all the time. The Sara in those photos almost looks like the Sara he used to know, the one who would laugh at him and whisper secrets in his ears.

“Dude” Magnus calls, and raises his hand to high five Mattias. “This is bloody brilliant fun, I mean, we are getting paid to mess around with kitchen gear and then give all our hard-earned cash to charity. Whatever.” Magnus smiles. “Just to let you know I will thrash you in the Lussekatt challenge. I am famous for my Lussekatter. Honestly my man, if I were you? I would just pack up and go home.”

Magnus’s laugh is infectious and Mattias just pretend grunts.

“Go and spout your psychological warfare on someone who will fall for it, Steingrímsson.” Mattias’s voice is full of laughter. “You are looking at the Lussekatt master here.”

“People have written songs about my Lussekatter.” Magnus crosses his arms across his chest. “They are legendary. Perfectly risen buns, soft like a baby’s bottom, with that pale golden Saffron colour, and baked to perfection with just a hint of brown on the top. And raisins. Gorgeous plump raisins.” Now he is dancing, his hips swaying as he pouts and mutters something, no doubt unrepeatable, under his breath.

“Tsk.” Mattias laughs. “Baking is an exact science. You won’t have tasted Lussekatter like mine. Seriously. I’ve got my great-great-grandmother’s secret recipe out of the family vault. I’m pretty unbeatable.”

“You number crunchers know nothing about putting passion and feelings into your hands. Because my Lussekatter are a true work of art.” Magnus is smiling so hard that Mattias can’t help laughing.

“I tell you what is a work of art.” Pablo sniggers, looping an arm around Magnus’s waist. “It’s your lush butt in those leather trousers. They should come with a health warning, because I am seriously struggling to breathe whenever you wriggle your arse over by that station of yours.”

Mattias wishes work could be more like this, a place where people laugh. It’s not like people don’t ever laugh up on the accounting floor, but it’s never like this. Free and uninhibited. Not that he would ever dare to speak to his colleagues up there the way he speaks back to Pablo, pretending to be deeply hurt that Magnus’s butt has replaced his own fine specimen on Pablo’s preferred view from the glittery rainbow workstation where Pablo throws his head back in laughter.

“I think you all have gorgeous arses anyway, if anyone is in need of advice.” Ida giggles and pats Mattias gently on the shoulder. “And anyway, I agree about a man in leather trousers. It’s very sexy. I might have to introduce it in the next season of FrognerFruer. I might start a trend. I mean, leather trousers were all the rage in the eighties, so I think they are due a comeback. What do you think Mattias? And why haven't you accepted my friend request on Facebook?”

“You friend requested Mattias on Facebook?” Magnus scowls and crosses his arms again. “What about me?”

Now Ida is blushing, and preening. Rubbing herself up against Magnus, who clearly loves the attention. Mattias feels like a third wheel again—the single bloke. The one who is never thought about like that. Even Sara said it, that she was never sexually attracted to Mattias, not at the start. But that she did like him, and they became friends, and one thing led to another. Not like Ida here who is an obvious, totally over the top, tight bundle of pent-up sexual frustration, and Magnus who is slowly wetting his lips as she bats her eyelashes in his face.

“Mattias, stick your tongue back in your mouth.” Pablo warns behind him. “We might all want a taste of your bum, Magnus, but flaunting it in us poor boys’ faces is just cruel. Let a little gay boy dream eh?”

“For your knowledge, Little gay boy, this fine arse of mine is a fully equal opportunities kind of arse. Just because I am giving this beautiful girl the eye, doesn’t mean that my fine arse hasn’t seen some good cock action in the past.”

Magnus looks serious as well, and now Ida is truly excited, hanging off his neck in a flurry of sentences where she has clearly lost the plot amongst her theories on threesomes.

“You never stop surprising me.” Pablo says, and for once he seems to be stunned into almost silence.

“It’s just sex, isn't it?” Magnus says, and Mattias thinks he now truly likes this man. This big muscular alpha-male human in his bloody leather trousers, who is clearly giving Ida everything she has been hoping for, pouting and smiling in her direction. “Sex should be fun, and sometimes you just end up having sex with people. Everyone has a body built for sex, and sometimes I end up with men, sometimes women, I mean everyone has different equipment, and sometimes it’s just fun spicing things up a little.“

“Not everyone.” Mattias finds his mouth has spoken before he can stop himself. “Not everyone is built for sex. Some people are just naturally awkward, and some people are just bad at it. Sex. It’s not like everyone just grows up and becomes an expert.”

“True” Pablo says, his voice tentatively quiet. “But, sometimes I think it boils down to chemistry. I have had really bad sex with very attractive people, and spectacular mind-blowing orgasms with someone I didn’t fancy at all, but who turned out to be a master at making yours truly come like a train. He became someone very special to me, and I never saw it coming. So, you see, Mattias, I don’t think people are bad at sex, they just haven’t found that special person that makes them lose all their inhibitions and truly become the person they are meant to be. Because, when you can be yourself with someone, with all your hang-ups and flaws, then sex can be the most fun thing.”

“Are you all talking about sex again?” Christopher’s voice booms. “Without me? I mean, I want to know what you are talking about! Mattias, fill me in.”

“Sex.” Mattias blurts out before he can stop himself. “Truly bad sex.”

“And mind-blowing orgasms.” Pablo says, his eyes already glazed over.

“Oh.” Christopher says.

“SILENCE!” Caroline’s voice is right on cue for nine o’clock as Christopher twirls around and almost jumps into position on the floor whilst the purple-haired stylist gives Mattias a final touch up.

“What’s your name?” He whispers. Because Mattias needs to take note here, and become a nicer person. A nicer person who can have normal conversations with people without outing ridiculous truths about himself. He needs to learn to talk about the weather, discuss recipes. Normal safe topics that normal people talk about and he is quite sure that most normal people don’t let their newfound maybe-friends know that they, like Mattias, are fucking useless at fucking. Not that he would call his awkward sexual history that in any sense of the word. He thinks he has resigned himself to the fact that he’s just not built for that kind of thing. At all. Ever. Which makes his newfound singleness a freedom from, rather than a freedom to. And he quite likes it like that.

“Pernille.” the purple-haired girl whispers back with a smile, before the studio descends into silence.

“Welcome to the Baking Battles studio, where our talented bakers will take on a whole new challenge of Christmas staples, with an added twist. This week we will be exploring our beloved Lussekatter, the soft moist wonders of buns filled with saffron and raisins, that remind us all exactly what Christmas should smell of. Our technical will be something we all take for granted, but that is actually surprisingly hard to get right. And then we have a spectacular showcase challenge where each of our contestants will have just over an hour to present us with a Christmas dessert to make us all swoon. Something that must taste just as lovely as it looks, with presentation being the key. I, for once, can’t wait. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...” Christopher does his pause again, angling his body until his hips are leaning against Mattias’s worktop, and his head twists round just enough to give the camera his best angle.

---