Page 16 of Exhale

“I can’t do three weeks without you.” I couldn’t believe how stern I was being, talking to him like this, like I believed every word I was saying. But I did because it was the truth.

“I want to see you all the time,” I said. “And anyway, it’s only eight stops and one change on the Tube to get here. I can easily get up earlier in the morning to get to uni on time. And you can do the same. It’s a small price to pay to have you near me.”

“True.” He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand before burying his face in my stomach again. “Fucking missed you so much. Let’s never be apart for this long again. I was just…you know. Shit scared that I’d mess this up. Kiz told me I was being stupid, but I’m not always…brave.”

“Just because you’re a prince doesn’t mean you have to be brave.” I blushed at my words. This fairy-tale shit hadn’t worked out too well the first time around, and here I was again, not having learned a single lesson.

“I want to be braver,” he whispered. Then he looked up at me, and for a moment I couldn’t breathe, because I knew he was mine and I was his, and fuck the whole idea of what people were supposed to be.

“I’m Prince Leo, and I’m here to rescue you with my trusty cat,” I went on, spluttering with laughter. “That’s what usually happens in fairy tales, isn’t it? I’ve come to save you, and now I have, you’ll have to be mine forever.”

“Is that how this story goes?” His face was wet with emotion, his voice barely there, but his smile was back, and my heart jolted as I bent down to steal a kiss. His mouth was as soft as I remembered. My lips stung as I nipped at his, again and again and again.

“Well, I had to come and try. How else would we live happily ever after? Did I do good?”

“You really brought the cat?”

“Had no one to feed him, did I? And anyway, I didn’t think seeing you for just the evening wouldn’t be enough. I knew I’d want to stay the night once I got here. I want to wake up next to you. I want to lie in bed with you, and we can watch those series or whatever, you know. Netflix and stuff. I just don’t want to be alone when you’re here—”

“I’m right here.”

“And I quite like your family.” I smiled, tilting his face up with my fingers so I could look at him properly. He was too beautiful for his own good. Too handsome. Too wonderful and overwhelmingly mine as I leant down and kissed him. He kissed me back this time, crawling up until he was on my lap, his breath mingling with mine, lips curling up into a smile as I rubbed my nose against his. Laughter bubbled in my chest.

“Leo,” he mused. “Leo, Leo, Leo.”

“We good?” I asked, hoping he would agree.

“More than good.” He exhaled, blowing hot breath into my neck as he held me, rocking me slowly against his chest. I closed my eyes and let him, trying to memorise his every word, every breath. The way his clothes smelled. The way his hair felt between my fingers.

“Stay,” he said, leaning back so he could look me in the eye. “Please stay.”

There was a simple honesty in his words, and however much my anxious brain wanted to doubt them, I didn’t. Dinner was being laid out around us, human beings milling about, shouty conversations and laughter cushioning us in the small bubble that seemed to keep me calm, a thin imaginary shield that muffled everything so that the only words I could hear were his. He was telling me about his day, and I was barely able to make sense of his language, too obsessed with memorising the patterns of freckles on his cheek, the three small lines at the corner of his eye, his long, thick lashes that put those dreadful falsies to shame with their natural beauty.

I couldn’t have told you what we had for dinner. My head was too far into the cloud of fluff that Jamie had created. I know I tipped over my glass of water during the meal and tried awkwardly to help clear up afterwards before getting ushered out of the room by the remaining brother, who’d turned up with his girlfriend at some point. Aaron, his name was. He told me sternly it was his night to clear the kitchen and could I kindly get his oversexed brother out of the room and stop humping the kitchen table?

Not that I knew what he meant, but my leg kept jumping with nerves. Maybe it was that. I couldn’t stay still unless Jamie was holding me, and chief among my mounting concerns was the fact I hadn’t seen Hulk since before dinner.

“He’s asleep on Olive’s bed,” Jamie murmured, wrapping his arms around me. “Wanna take a shower?”

“What?!” I hissed, still struggling to compute the world around me.

“You and me. Hot shower. Soap. Sex. Things like that?”

I wasn’t sure I liked that idea, but apparently my mouth did, smiling like the traitorous thing it was.

“I’m still terrified,” I confessed into his hands, kissing his fingertips. I couldn’t believe I’d pulled this off. That I was here, and he wanted me here, and that things looked better than they had this morning. Way better. Especially with him kissing my neck and begging me to spend the night in his bed.

I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d already told him that.

The bathroom was nothing spectacular. White tiled walls housed a standard shower that was spilling out a comforting amount of steam as Jamie stepped away from the taps and pulled his hair free of the elastic band, which he carelessly dropped in the sink. He was still fully clothed, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Pulling his T-shirt over his head, he leant back against the opposite wall, just looking at me with a little smile on his face. “You’re here. I still can’t get my head around it.”

“I’m a bit concerned that your… Is Kizzy still here?”

“Everyone is busy with stuff, honestly. Nobody minds you staying, and the shower is running so…you know. Tends to muffle those little sounds.”

“What kind of little sounds?” I teased, knowing full well what his crinkly eyes were suggesting. His hand disappeared into his jeans pocket, pulling something out that he brought up to his face, sniffing it gently before holding it out to me.

---