Page 13 of Hostile for the Holidays

“Not a boyfriend. A human shield,” she asserts. “It would be fake. We wouldn’t actually be dating.”

“What about your sister’s wedding?” I ask.

“It’s on New Year’s Eve. I’m sure my parents invited your family,” she says begrudgingly.

“Daniel’s going to be there?”

“Yeah, I told you, he’s Tom’s cousin. And he’s staying with my family. For the next two weeks, he’ll be everywhere.”

“So, you’ll need me to be your date to the wedding as well.”

“Are you adding this all up so you can send me a bill?” she asks.

“No, my fake boyfriend services are free.”

“That’s shocking.” Her eyes narrow. “What’s in it for you?”

It occurs to me that Stella will never agree to an arrangement that is one-sided. She’ll think I have an advantage over her or I’m doing her a favor which will ultimately become a future issue between us. I need a reason to have a fake girlfriend or this doesn’t work.

“I’ll need you to reciprocate. Be my girlfriend at my family’s Christmas Eve party.”

“Fake girlfriend,” she emphasizes. “And why?”

“My mom is notorious for trying to set me up with women at that party. It’s a tradition I’d like to avoid this year.” It’s a stretch of the truth. My mom tried to set me up one year and I asked her to never do it again.

We sit in silence for a few minutes while she thinks it over. It’s mostly silence, there are a few mumblings and murmurings coming from Stella as she battles with her decision.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” She drops her head back against the head rest with a sigh. “But this changes nothing between us.”

“You want to pretend to be dating, but still be at each other’s throats?”

“You’re right. This is going to be too hard. I’ll have to tell Daniel we broke up and then find someone else to fake date.” She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling. “Oh, maybe Jonah Collins. He was always nice to me.”

“Jonah Collins got married last year,” I say through gritted teeth, remembering him as Stella’s boyfriend for six months our junior year in high school.

She scrolls again. “Max Rhodes?”

“Moved to Florida. He won’t be home this year.”

“Darn it.” She sighs, dropping her phone into her lap. “How do you keep up with everyone?”

“I don’t really. Juniper knows everything.”

My twenty-two-year-old sister is attuned to what happens in our hometown. While she is finishing up her business degree at the University of Colorado in Boulder, she comes home to visit often.

Stella’s face softens, a sweet smile pulling at her lips. “How is Juniper?”

“She’s good. Going to graduate in the spring and wants to open a romance bookstore in town.”

“Wow.” Her eyes light with fascination. “That’s really cool.”

From the sincere look on her face, it’s evident that Stella’s hostility doesn’t apply to my entire family, just me.

“Listen, finding another boyfriend on this short notice is ridiculous. Daniel will see right through it.” I tap my fingers against the steering wheel. I need another angle. A way for Stella to see this as a competition. “You’re saying you can’t pretend to be in love with me for two weeks?”

“In love with you? Ha! In this made-up scenario, we’re dating, we aren’t in love.”

“Okay. So, Stella St. James, the phenomenal theater performer who won best actress at the 2013 Cedar Hollow High School Drama Awards, can’t pull off a simple fake dating arrangement?” I follow up my challenge with a low whistle to really drive home my point.

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