Page 69 of Hostile for the Holidays

“What is this?” Her voice is barely above a whisper as she shakes the frame. “Did you make a copy?”

“No.” I swallow. “That’s the original.”

“You didn’t rip it up?” she asks in disbelief, her eyes turning glassy again.

I shake my head. “No.”

I don’t know what to say. I should have told her. I should have given it back to her at some point as a peace offering. There are a thousand things I wish I would have done differently with Stella, but then we might not have gotten to where we are now. Or at least where we were twenty minutes ago when she shattered around me and I saw the potential for forever with her. And fuck, until this moment where my stomach is filling with dread, I loved that we made it here.

Now, I’m searching for the right thing to say, uncertain how to navigate this. I watch Stella’s face go through all the emotions. The shock of seeing her drawing again, the confusion that it was never ripped up, and then the hurt that I’ve had it all this time and never told her.

A single tear snakes its way down her cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me believe—” She chokes back a sob.

“I—I didn’t know if you’d even believe me.”

“God, Jasper.” Her voice quivers with hurt. “That was the moment I started hating you.”

Her words pierce my heart, but I have to keep going. I need to tell her the truth now.

“It was the moment I started loving you. I didn’t know it at the time. It took me years to figure out what that feeling was. And then, it felt like it was too late.”

“What did you say?” She wipes furiously at her tears.

“I love you, Stella. I’ve loved you all this time.”

“That doesn’t make sense. You hate me. Or you did.” She shakes her head, trying to reconcile my admission with our past rivalry.

“You told everyone I was joining a convent after graduation.”

“I was an idiot. I thought that would deter other guys.”

“Well, it worked.” Her face flushes red with anger. “I went to prom alone.”

“I wanted you to myself.”

“But you never had me, Jasper. You never told me how you felt. You just made sure I was alone and miserable!”

“I didn’t know how to tell you back then. How to make you trust me after everything. I thought that this arrangement would help?—”

“You lied to me. You didn’t need a fake girlfriend. This was all a setup, but for what?”

“No. Not a setup. Fuck. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.”

“How was it supposed to go, Jasper? Was I supposed to be happy that you lied to me all these years?”

She shakes her head in a swift arc.

“This was a mistake.” Still clutching the frame with her drawing, she moves to gather her clothing that’s strewn about my bedroom. “A huge fucking mistake!”

“Stella. I’m so fucking sorry.” I reach for her, but she pulls back.

“No! I was devastated about this drawing. What I thought had happened to it. That you would be so cruel to do that. And then, over the years, there would be moments where I thought you might not be the jerk I thought you were, then some other fight or competition would flare between us and my walls would go back up.

“Stay away from me, Jasper. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. And do not come to Sadie’s wedding tomorrow.”

She slams my bedroom door, and I stand there stunned.

How did this go from the best night of my life to the worst so quickly?

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