Page 154 of Beyond the Stroke

“Judging from that smile on your face, you’re not taking it to heart.”

“I’ll get in some extra laps.”

Coach Owens approaches and it’s clear he wants to talk to me.

“We’ll catch you later,” Logan says, pushing off the rope to swim for the ladder. After a nod, Eli follows behind him.

I climb out of the pool, immediately noticing the difference in my body. Today wasn’t about my body not being able to keep up, it was the fact that my head wasn’t in it.

“You’re off today. You good?” Owens asks, arms crossed while his firm gaze studies me.

“Yeah. Just thinking.”

“You missed your interval. Twice. That’s not like you.”

“I know. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Coach had instructed me to stay focused. To not let what happens outside of the pool affect me here, and I never thought it would. Nothing has before. But this thing developing between me and Summer is different. It feels bigger than swimming.

I let my fingers thread through the water. I never imagined anything could be more important than this.

“She get in your head?” His voice is quieter now.

I crack a small grin. “She’s under my skin, Coach.”

He nods. “Either jump in with both feet or shake it off before Nationals, because if you’re trying to do both, you’re gonna drown.”

I consider what he’s saying. It’s not an ultimatum, but a reality check.

If I can’t figure out my feelings for Summer and have that part of my life settled, then I’m going to keep struggling. And I don’t have time to struggle. This is my last shot at gold and securing my legacy.

I want to finish on my own terms, but more than that, I want Summer beside me for all of it.

“Got it.”

“Good. Now go ice that knee.” Coach Owens walks off to leave me with my thoughts.

Normally after a disappointing practice, I’d force myself to swim extra laps or watch race footage, but even though I was off-pace today, I can’t bring myself to enforce my old rules. Sloggingthrough more laps isn’t going to get my head straight. I need something else.

In the locker room, the air is warm and humid. Most of the guys have already showered and are walking around with towels slung low on their waists. A few feet away, a locker door bangs while loud voices echo off the cement walls.

When I enter my locker section, Logan is pulling a Pooh Bear with his t-shirt on and no pants, so I avert my eyes and grab my phone from my locker.

How are the pups this morning?

Summer

Full of energy. And Cal caught a fish!

She sends me an image of Cal holding up a tiny fish and I like the photo.

I want to take you somewhere later. Secret spot. Perfect view. Thought you might want to bring your paints.

Summer

Are you trying to seduce me with scenic views?

Is it working?

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