Page 15 of Claimed By The Orc

I was suddenly feeling very vulnerable, and somehow looking like my true self in front of my Tanner while he rebuffed me was too much to bear. I pushed the bangle back on and whispered a couple words to reform the human illusion. It felt like a shield of some sort as I braced myself for the worst.

Tanner frowned at me. “You don’t have to do that, not in front of me.”

I shrugged a shoulder. I didn’t have anything to say to that.

Tanner ran his fingers through his hair, pieces sticking up in every direction. I wanted to run mine through and smooth it down. I wanted to feel the soft strands as they brushed my skin.

“Listen, I’m not . . . Fuck, this sounds so cliche, but it’s not you. It’s me. There’s no fucking way fate or whoever you believe in shackled you with a fuckup like me. It wouldn’t be fair to you. The amount of baggage I have . . .” He started to pace the sitting room.

I didn’t understand everything Tanner was saying, but I got the sentiment. He didn’t think he was worthy of me, which was so far from the truth I wasn’t sure I had the proper words to correct him.

How did I tell this man how much he’d grown to mean to me over the last few weeks. Yes, I’d known he was mine from the moment I’d laid eyes on him, but my feelings had only grown the more we spoke and the more I watched him. How did I explain that the way he cared for his family only made me want him asmy mate more? It had been the joy of my life spending time with Tanner and caring for him, even if it was from the shadows. All I wanted was a chance to do that in full view. Whatever struggles we had, we could figure it out together.

My knees felt weak as I closed the distance between us. Fear gripped me. What if he pushed me away? Tanner’s chest heaved as he struggled to control his breath. His eyes were wide and wild, and it looked like he was about to run. I had seen that look before in some of my targets, but I never wanted to see it in Tanner.

“Can I hold you?” The words came out shakier than I’d intended. Tanner flinched, and I thought he was going to deny me, but after a moment, I was granted a shaky nod. It was hesitant and he looked terrified, but it was the best thing I had ever seen.

I moved my arms but froze. If I was going to do this, I wanted to be in my true form. A quick word and the spell deactivated and I was orc again. Tanner’s breath hitched, but he didn’t step away or tell me no. I closed the final distance, and soon my mate was in my arms.

Tanner was stiff at first, his body rigid in my hold. I did not move. I did not let go. I waited Tanner out. Then my mate let out a sob and melted into me.

“Shh, that’s it,lulekai. You’re okay. I have you now. You can let go.”

Tanner sobbed again and my heart broke. I wracked my brain, trying to figure out how to fix this, to understand exactly what was going on in his mind. No matter how hard I tried, I could come up with no solution, so I just held him tightly and buried my nose in his hair, finally feeling the soft strands.

Eventually, I guided Tanner toward the sofa and we sat. I still kept him close as his body shook. Desperate to comfort him,I started to hum the lullabies my mother had sung to me as a small child.

Eventually, the shaking stopped and Tanner pulled away enough to look at me. His eyes were red and puffy, tears staining his cheeks. Without thinking, I lifted a thumb, wiping up the streaks. Tanner smiled timidly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out like that. I don’t know what happened.”

I wanted to know what his skin tasted like. Was it salty now? I resisted the urge. “You do not need to apologize for that, my Tanner. This has been a very emotional day, and humans sometimes cry with big emotions, but there is nothing wrong with that. It is a release.”

Tanner snorted. “Where did you learn that?”

“The Google,” I responded proudly.

Tanner burst out laughing then, and I smiled in return. I thought he might be laughing at me, but it didn’t matter since I’d made my mate smile, a real one, not the one he gave customers at the shop. More than smiling, I’d made him laugh.

“Fuck, Mahk. Please don’t change.” That made me smile even harder. Maybe we would be okay. It might take some time, but maybe Tanner would grow to accept me.

It took a while for him to stop, even wiping his eyes as more tears fell, but they were the happy kind I’d also read about. At least, I was pretty sure that was the case. Once he did, his expression got serious, and my heart skipped a beat.

But Tanner took my hands in his and squeezed, little tingles shooting through my fingers, all the way to my heart.

“I think I need a little time, Mahk. Just to process. This was a lot.”

I nodded solemnly. “Take all the time you need,lulekai. I will wait for you.”

Tanner frowned. “But aren’t you stuck here, unable to get home?”

I lifted a shoulder in response. “It would be worth it. I’d miss my brothers, but I would wait a lifetime if it meant I could eventually call you mine.”

Tanner’s face fell. “Fuck, you can’t say stuff like that, Mahk. You know what that does to me?”

I shook my head. “I was only speaking the truth.”

Tanner slumped down on the couch. “You need to stop being so . . .” He waved his hand vaguely. “. . . perfect.”

---