Page 43 of Knot My Type

Eliana takes a deep breath, steeling herself. "Then I'll go first."

What follows is the most honest conversation of my life.

Eliana tells us about her childhood, about the fear and shame that was drilled into her from an early age. She tells us about the loneliness, the sense of being fundamentally broken, the desperate hope that maybe, someday, she might find somewhere she belonged.

Fen speaks next, his voice rough with emotion as he describes his past—the violence, the abandonment, the years of believing he was nothing more than a weapon. He tells us about the rage that still lives inside him, and his fear that he might one day hurt the people he loves most.

Kael's revelations are perhaps the most surprising. The controlled, commanding Alpha tells us about his own fears—the weight of leadership, the constant pressure to be strong, the loneliness of command. He admits to moments of doubt, timeswhen he questioned whether he was worthy of the trust placed in him.

When my turn comes, I find myself speaking about things I've never told anyone. The desperate need to protect, to serve, to be useful. The fear that I'm not enough, that my quiet nature makes me weak rather than steady. The dreams I've had of finding my pack, and the terror that I might not recognize them when I did.

With each revelation, each moment of vulnerability, I feel something shifting between us. My usual scent—soft jasmine with underlying notes of warm honey—begins to tremble and sweeten, betraying how deeply their words affect me. Kael's scent responds first, his rich cedar and leather wrapping around me like a protective embrace, while Rhys's darker essence of smoky amber and spice makes my pulse quicken with its intensity. Even Fen's scent shifts, his typically neutral beta fragrance of clean rain and sage taking on warmer undertones as he draws closer to our growing circle. Our scents begin to mingle and merge, my delicate florals intertwining with Kael's commanding earthiness and Rhys's fierce warmth, while Fen's grounding presence weaves through it all, creating something new and complex—something that speaks of trust being built, of walls coming down, of four separate souls finding an unexpected harmony that none of us saw coming.

"I need to touch you," Eliana whispers when we've all spoken, her voice shaky with emotion and something deeper. "All of you. I need to feel that you're real."

We move as one, closing the circle until we're pressed together skin to skin. The moment we're all connected—my hand on Eliana's thigh, her fingers tangled with Kael's, Fen's palm flat against my back—the energy that's been building explodes into something overwhelming.

It's like being struck by lightning from the inside out.

Every barrier I've ever built around my heart crumbles in an instant. Every wall I've constructed to protect myself from pain dissolves like sugar in rain. I feel myself opening up, expanding, until I'm not just Rhys anymore but part of something larger, something magnificent.

I can feel them—really feel them, not just their bodies pressed against mine but their souls, their essences, their deepest selves. Eliana's fierce determination and hidden vulnerability. Kael's strength and the weight of responsibility he carries. Fen's wild loyalty and the gentleness he hides beneath his rough exterior.

And they can feel me too. My devotion, my need to nurture and protect, my quiet strength that I've always doubted but they see as valuable, necessary.

The sharing goes both ways, all ways, until the four of us become something greater than the sum of our parts. Not losing ourselves, but finding ourselves expanded, enhanced, completed.

I'm dimly aware of crying, of Eliana sobbing against my chest, of Kael's harsh breathing and Fen's low murmurs of wonder. But mostly I'm lost in the sensation of connection, of belonging so complete and perfect that it steals my breath.

Time becomes meaningless. We could be pressed together for minutes or hours—I have no way of knowing. All that matters is this moment, this perfect fusion of souls that feels like coming home after a lifetime of wandering.

When it finally begins to ease, when the overwhelming intensity settles into something manageable, we're all changed. Marked not just on our skin but in our souls, bonded in ways that will never break.

"Oh," Eliana breathes, her voice full of wonder. "Oh, I can feel all of you. Inside me, part of me."

I know what she means. The bond thrums between us like a living thing, connecting us in ways I never imagined possible. I can sense her contentment, her joy, her deep satisfaction at finally being complete. I can feel Kael's protective satisfaction and Fen's wild happiness.

And they can feel me—my love, my devotion, my gratitude for being chosen, for being wanted, for being part of this perfect unit.

"Is it always like this?" Eliana asks, her hand pressed to her chest as if she can feel the bond there.

"I don't know," Kael admits. "I've never bonded like this before."

"None of us have," Fen adds, his voice rough with emotion. "But I hope so. I hope it's always this strong."

I think it will be. Not always this intense—we'd never be able to function if it was—but always this present, this real. We're pack now in the truest sense, bonded not just by choice but by soul-deep connection.

The fire has burned down again while we were lost in the bonding, but neither the dim light nor the cooling air can touch the warmth that radiates from our joined forms. We settle into the nest together, a tangle of limbs and contentment, our individual scents now completely merged into something new and uniquely ours.

"What happens now?" Eliana asks sleepily, her head pillowed on my shoulder while Kael and Fen press close on either side.

"Now we rest," I tell her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "And then we figure out the rest together."

"Together," she repeats, like she's testing the word. "I like the sound of that."

"Good," Kael murmurs, his arm tightening around all of us. "Because that's what we are now. Together. Always."

As sleep claims us one by one, I'm filled with a peace I've never known. The restless searching that's driven me my entire life has finally ended. I've found my place, my purpose, my family.

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