Page 21 of Third Time Lucky

Chapter Four

Joey

I’m weak and he’s my kryptonite.

He snuck into the fantasy folder while I was sleeping and spent the entire night ruining me for anyone else. Fantasy Elliot was demanding, creative and relentless. And that ass…

I’m still thinking about him when I wake up with a loud moan, body covered in sweat, boxers shoved to my thighs and my fist around my cock.

I think about him in the shower. Two and a half times.

The third attempt is aborted due to a leg cramp and shame.

I don’t want to talk about it.

I think about him as I get dressed—khaki pants that are snugger than usual and a casual long-sleeved crew neck—for the trip to Bellamy House after breakfast with my brother. I can wear the shit out of a good Armani, and I did schedule a few meetings with some community leaders today, but suits make JD nervous and kids don’t usually trust them either. Also, this is supposed to be a relaxing visit. Just getting the lay of the land and reporting to Tani.

I visualize Elliot Ransom in a suit and have to adjust myself with a whimper. Did someone slip some Viagra into my drink last night? I think you’re supposed to go to the hospital if your erection lasts longer than five hours. It has to be Viagra. The only other explanation for this kind of reaction is fictional and supernatural.

Not a werewolf. Can’t get pregnant.

I’m still ninety-nine percent sure of that.

I wish I knew a bookie so I could ask them what the odds are that a gorgeous, flawless, talkative man with high-jump skills and a new daughter would end up being my neighbor, even temporarily?

Because come on.

Maybe the universe is testing me.

I consider it as I push/drag four giant storage tubs made of recycled plastic across the marble floor toward the elevator.

If this was a test, and I’m not saying it is, then I’ve already passed it as far as I’m concerned. I’ve learned from my mistakes.

Lesson one:No matter how much love you give to them, it won’t work out unless they’re willing to love you back. In public. With receipts.

Lesson two:No matter how much money you spend or how many problems you fix for them, they’ll still only come over when they want a blowjob and you’ll never have a date to the charity gala.

Those might feel like the same lesson, but there are nuances. The main thrust—now I’m thinking about Elliot again—is that Tani is right. Again. And I will absolutely be taking JD up on his offer to find me the perfect openly gay man of my dreams.

Test passed. Achievement unlocked. Mission ac—

“Hold the elevator.”

Mother of balls.

“Almost missed you,” Elliot says with a slightly bashful smile, a large duffel in his hand.

He’s wearing a backwards baseball cap, a stretched-out black tank and green shorts with pink flamingos that show off his insanely developed thighs.

“A little cold for those, isn’t it?”

Now he knows what you’re looking at.

“I’ll be working up too much of a sweat to notice.” He glances down at them with a laugh. “You don’t have to say it, I know they’re crazy. I took Rue shopping last week and she picked them out for me. My first official pair of Dad shorts.”

Kryptonite in human form.

I have not passed the test. Mission opposite of accomplished, and it’s all his fault for continuously saying things that make it impossible for me to resist him. If he doesn’t find a place with a backyard swing soon, I’ll need to move before I do something really stupid.

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