Page 118 of Lemon Crush

Bernie coughed and sent Chick an apologetic look. “Maybe he thinks you’re leaving soon, and he’s trying not to get too attached.”

“She’s probably right. Men,” Chick grumbled as he hacked off another bite of his steak. “I told him to talk to you, so he avoids talking to you. Because that makes sense.”

I straightened. “What did you tell him to talk to me about? And when?”

“After I shared the voice message. He was brooding about you keeping him out of the loop. He didn’t know about the theme. He didn’t know about the message. I imagine he would have been on your side about the race a lot sooner if he had.” Chick waswatching me closely as he added, “I also imagine he’s thinking that means you aren’t as invested in what you two are up to as he is.”

I stifled a gasp of indignation. “I’m invested.”

They gave me matchingOh, really?looks.

“I am! I’m not making any decisions right now because I’m living in the moment. That’s all.” Why was it starting to sound like an excuse? “Anyway, I told him the day he moved in I was planning on leaving. Why is he acting differently now?”

“My brother is not a temporary fling kind of guy,” Bernie said, her expression serious. “I’m not saying he hasn’t had a few civilized one-night stands, because he’s human and has needs. But affairs with looming expiration dates he has no control over? This is his first. And because it’s you, it’s more complicated in more ways than one. I imagine it’s screwing with his head a little. Maybe he’s trying to give you space to decide if you want more from him.”

I’d never been a temporary fling girl either. But I’d been clinging to my stay-in-the-present mantra since he showed up at my door, too afraid that if I let myself think about what came next, this amazing moment would disappear.

In the present, I was starting to feel like myself again. I hung out with friends. I wrote and finished books. Merlin was finally warming up to me, and the full house didn’t feel as much like a spirit-draining abyss. I had great sex and slept better than I had in years with someone beside me. WithWadebeside me.

In the present, thinking about leaving didn’t have the same appeal anymore, but staying felt almost as risky. What if things didn’t work out? Could I take another loss? Now, when I’d barely gotten back on my feet?

“Do you want more from him, August?” Chick asked.

“You and I have plans,” I started. He’d been so excited about being roommates again. So had I. I’d told him I was in.

He reached out to squeeze my hand. “If that’s what you want,I’m still all for it.” When Bernie narrowed her gaze on him, he shrugged. “August comes first. Always.”

He looked back at me. “I know the offer sounded great when it didn’t look like you had any reason to stay. But it seems like that might have changed recently. Or am I wrong?”

He knew he wasn’t.

“You don’t have to decide your entire future over lunch,” he finally said, letting me off the hook, “but maybe you could throw the poor man a bone until you do.”

“How do I do that? I already said he could bring that puppy home from the garage if no one adopted her.” I’d even taken to having talks with Merlin about the possibility, and how he wasn’t allowed to eat the new baby.

“Wanda,” Chick supplied when Bernie looked puzzled. “He was cuddling her at the garage. She’s adorable.”

Bernie dropped her fork, understanding transforming her expression. “You told him he could keep the puppy that spent the night peeing all over my house? He said he needed to leave her with me for a little while, but with Phoebe about to pop, I don’t have the energy to chase her around.”

He’d named the puppy Wanda. “Why didn’t he bring her home?”

I caught them sharing a significant look and rolled my eyes. “Yes, I said it. Shut up. Fine.” I pointed at each of them in turn. “You know your brother and you know men, so I need your advice. How do I get him to tell me what’s wrong and show him that I’m moreinvested?”

Hopefully their answer wasn’t for me to profess the feelings I hadn’t completely come to terms with yet. I wasn’t ready to take that big of a risk. Too much had happened too fast, and a lot of it was temporary. The job. The race. Chick’s visit. I wasn’t as attached because I knew they’d all be over soon.

I didn’t want what Wade and I had to be in that category, but how could I be sure it wasn’t?

Are you seriously thinking about staying now?

The thought made my pulse race with conflicting emotions. What if I was?

“It’s about damn time,” Chick said, raising his fist to bump Bernie’s in solidarity. “We’ve been waiting for you to ask for our help.”

“I’ll text Phoebe’s friend now.” Bernie’s thumbs were already flying over her phone. “She does things with curly hair you wouldn’t believe.”

I touched my hair self-consciously. “Your advice includes a hair appointment?”

“We’re starting a new chapter to celebrate finishing your book,” Chick said loftily. “It comes with free advice, a new haircut, and making do with the nearest mall for a shopping montage.”

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