Page 17 of Love, Accidentally

‘Yeah, well. It’s not your fault for once. Remind me how long before the water heats up again?’

‘It’ll be at least an hour, I’m afraid.’

‘Bollocks. There’s nothing I hate more than going to bed smelling of hospital, but I don’t think I can keep my eyes open for that long. I’ll see you two lovebirds later, yeah?’

In the end, the lack of shower makes no difference. I’m so dog-tired as I shut my blackout curtains and climb under the duvet that I don’t even have time to enjoy my usual montage of Luke fantasies before falling into a deep sleep. I do dream, however. In one, Lena is using my towel like some kind of fishing line to lure Luke to her. I’m calling out to him, trying to tell him to let go of the towel, but he seems mesmerised by her as she pulls him closer and closer. She’s cackling triumphantly as she finally traps him in her arms. In an instant, they’re both undressed and I’m forced to watch as she lowers her skinny frame onto him, slowly at first but then faster until it’s almost frenzied. She’s crying out and he’s making low, guttural moans until she suddenly grips him tight and shudders as he evidently empties himself inside her. At that moment, she turns to me and smiles victoriously, before climbing off him and immediately giving birth to a series of people with ugly war wounds and missing limbs.

When I wake, I’m not surprised to find that the sheets are damp and I don’t feel rested at all. I lie in the dark, trying to doze but very aware of a thumping and banging coming from somewhere that sounds very much like the washing machine in distress. I know it’s her flat and everything, but I’d forgotten what a disruptive influence Lena is, and I really hope her visit is going to be short so Mike and I can get back to normal. Thinking of Mike, I must also quiz him about Sarah. If he’s planning a future with her, that’s big news.

8

‘She sounds fascinating,’ Luke remarks after I’ve told him about Lena’s surprise return over lunch.

‘I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use,’ I complain. ‘I mean, I admire what she does and everything, but that doesn’t give her carte blanche to do whatever the hell she likes when she comes home. Mike’s convinced the washing machine isn’t draining properly again, and I’ve had to hide my shampoo and conditioner after she emptied about half a bottle of each on her head before she stole my towel.’

He smiles. ‘Think of it as you doing your bit for the organisation she works for.’

‘Hmm. I think I’d rather do my bit by giving them charitable donations, rather than sponsoring one doctor’s haircare regime. Anyway, enough of my gripes. How are things with you?’

‘OK, actually. Mum seems a little more settled with the new carers. I mean, I still have to be there for her a lot, but it doesn’t feel quite so intense and it means I can have lunch with my favourite A&E nurse without worrying that I have to rush back quite so fast.’

‘I see,’ I tell him, attempting a flirtatious look. ‘Well, it’s nice to have you to myself for a bit longer too.’

To my surprise, he suddenly looks earnest, leaning over the table and taking both my hands in his. ‘Tilly, I need to be honest with you,’ he says. ‘I know I said I wanted to make friends, but I feel a bigger connection with you. If I’m misreading the signals, tell me now, but I think you feel it too.’

For a moment, I’m not sure what to say. I’m used to things being more organic, and this declaration feels almost formal. I’m reminded a little of the proposal scene inPride and Prejudice– the TV version, obviously. Nobody has time to read the book, do they?

‘What are you suggesting?’ I ask eventually.

‘I’d like for us to be… more, I guess,’ he says.

I smile. ‘Are you propositioning me, Luke?’

He blushes. ‘I might be. Look, I’m not very experienced in this kind of thing and I know I’m probably making a mess of it, but I really like you?—’

‘It’s fine,’ I interrupt. ‘I like you too.’

Relief washes over his face. ‘So what happens now?’

‘We finish our lunch and then we’ll go for a walk. If that walk ends up at my flat, then I might offer you a cup of coffee.’

He grins. ‘I’d like that very much. Coffee, I mean. I know it’s a euphemism for, well… but I meant coffee, honest.’

‘Luke?’

‘Yes?’

‘Shut up.’

* * *

I do like Luke a lot, but he’s strangely reticent about his dating history. I know he’s been single for a while, which is unsurprising given his job and the fact that he spends so much of his free time dealing with his mother. However, I can’t believe he hasn’t had girlfriends in the past, but he either shuts me down or changes the subject whenever I try to probe. Maybe he’s had his heart broken and doesn’t want to talk about it, I decide eventually. He does seem very hesitant around me, which leads me to believe he’s not as experienced with women as I’d expect, given how good-looking he is. At one point, I reach to take his hand, but he lets go after a few minutes, shoving it into the pocket of his jacket.

‘It’s OK,’ I tell him as I unlock the bottom door to let us into the building where our flat is. ‘I won’t bite.’

He smiles at that and my heart melts a little. Closing the front door softly, I reach round his waist and pull him close, tilting my face up towards him. Finally, he seems to get the message and, after the briefest of pauses, brings his head down, brushing his lips against mine. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensation. He’s kissing me so lightly I sometimes wonder if I’m imagining it, but then I open my eyes just a crack and see him. I’ve never been kissed like this before; normally it deepens pretty quickly, but Luke appears to be in no rush, and I’m savouring the moment. It feels like he’s teasing me. A little brush here, sometimes the gentlest feel of his tongue against my mouth. It’s incredibly erotic and I can feel my body responding. I pull him closer, trying to see if he’s as turned on as me, and I’m rewarded by a pleasing hardness pressing against me. This is the moment he decides to deepen the kiss and I’m totally ready for it.

‘Bloody hell, Luke!’ I murmur when we come up for air.

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