Page 19 of Love, Accidentally

‘I get that, I guess,’ Luke tells her. ‘Do you think the spouses suspect anything when the married ones come home?’

Another rasping laugh. I wonder if Lena’s taken up smoking since I saw her last. ‘How should I know?’ she asks. ‘That’s their shit to manage, not mine. The way I see it is this: life out there is short and often brutal. We see things nobody wants to see, deal with all the shit the world doesn’t want to look at. If we take pleasure in each other’s company while we do it, who the hell is in a position to lecture us? Before you judge me, walk a mile in my shoes. Isn’t that what Jesus said, Tilly? Tilly went to Catholic school so she’s an expert on the Bible.’

‘I don’t think it was Jesus,’ I tell her. ‘We always used to say, “Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”’

‘Very funny. I’ll remember that.’

‘So what made you want to go into your specific line of work?’ Luke asks her and, at this point, I know I’ve lost him for the afternoon. Lena loves nothing more than to talk about herself and her work. I don’t doubt the good that she does, but I do wonder sometimes whether she gets off on the glory of it, just a little bit. With a sigh, I add milk to the coffees and hand them round before settling in the armchair opposite an enraptured Luke.

‘I’m all done,’ Dave announces after a while. ‘It was sand, mainly. You might want to shake your clothes out a bit more carefully next time you come back from saving the world.’ If he’s being sarcastic, it’s completely lost on Lena, who thanks him profusely and insists on sending him away with one of Mike’s chocolate brownies. Luke also seems to take this as his cue to leave, getting to his feet.

‘Oh,’ Lena says to him disappointedly. ‘I hope I didn’t bore you.’

‘Not at all,’ he tells her. ‘It’s just I have to get back for my mum. The carers finish soon and she can’t be left on her own.’

‘Mm-hm. Carers are such aWesternconcept, don’t you think? In most cultures, families stick together, helping each other out as and when. It’s a much better model, in my book.’

‘Yes, well, I’m an only child so there isn’t anyone else,’ he tells her ruefully.

‘I’m sure you’re doing your best. It was nice to meet you, Luke, and I hope to see you again soon.’

‘You too.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ I murmur to him as I escort him downstairs. All the passion of earlier has dissipated and I just feel a bit numb. ‘I genuinely didn’t know she was going to be here.’

‘It’s fine,’ he tells me, leaning in to give me a chaste peck on the cheek. ‘I liked her. Hopefully there will be other times.’

‘There had better be,’ I tell him as I turn his head to kiss him on the lips, reawakening the merest hint of libido. ‘I have unfinished business with you.’

I watch him walk down the street for a while, before turning and trudging back upstairs. When I get into the flat, Lena hasn’t moved, not even to tidy away the coffee cups, and I feel a twinge of annoyance as I pick them up and start loading them into the dishwasher.

‘Well, he’s quite the charmer, isn’t he?’ she declares suddenly, piercing the slightly tense silence. ‘I’m not sure about him though. You need to tread carefully there, Tilly.’

‘Why do you say that, Lena?’ I ask, although she’s annoyed me enough this afternoon that I have no interest in her opinion.

‘I don’t know. I just get a bad feeling about him. Almost like he’s too good to be true.’

‘Well, it’s very kind of you to look out for me,’ I tell her sarcastically. ‘However, you’ll forgive me if I hesitate to take relationship advice from someone who, by their own admission, has no qualms about leaping into bed with married men.’

To my surprise, she grins. ‘That’s fair enough, I suppose. Just be careful though. You’re one of the good people, Tilly. I’d hate for you to get hurt.’

I can’t decide if I feel touched that she cares or incredibly patronised. What I do know is that I have to find a way to get her out of the way if she’s still here the next time I have an opportunity to bring Luke back. I’m not having a repeat of this afternoon.

9

‘You look very pleased with yourself,’ Tash remarks as I settle myself into the seat opposite her a few weeks later. We’re taking advantage of the fact that we’re both off shift at the same time to meet for coffee. Tash, typically, is nursing some kind of skinny oat-milk coffee, while I’ve gone all out on a large latte with a slice of carrot cake.

‘Life is good at the moment,’ I tell her as I take a sip, enjoying the richness of the frothy milk and the underlying hit of bitterness.

‘Mm-hm. I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I’m going to guess this is Luke related?’

I smile at her. I’m aiming for an enigmatic,Mona Lisa-type smile, but I’m so happy that it comes off as a full-on beam. Lena thankfully disappeared off to some new war zone after a couple of weeks, leaving the flat free for Luke and me to enjoy a number of very pleasant afternoons together. He generally pitches up at around lunchtime, and I’ll make him a sandwich or something before we move things to the bedroom. To be fair, we haven’t always made it as far as the bedroom, but that’s the joy of having the flat to ourselves. The sofa, the shower and even (briefly, and very uncomfortably) the kitchen worktop have found themselves acting as impromptu props to our sex life.

‘It is,’ I agree. ‘Things are going well.’

‘And the mother?’

‘It sounds like she’s obviously quite confused, poor thing, and she does take up a lot of his time, but it’s fine. We’re working round it.’

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