Page 20 of Love, Accidentally

She looks unconvinced. ‘But this can’t carry on forever, can it? I mean, what happens if the two of you want to move things to the next level?’

‘I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess. Lots of other people have to balance their relationships around vulnerable parents, don’t they?’

Having arrived in a buoyant mood, Tash has successfully punctured my little balloon of happiness, and I take a grumpy bite out of my carrot cake.

‘Sorry,’ she says, evidently noticing my change of demeanour. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘You haven’t,’ I tell her with a sigh. ‘I suppose I’m just trying to live in the moment and enjoy what we have without complicating it.’

She smiles. ‘I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out.’

‘What would you do?’ I ask her after a brief pause.

‘About Luke?’

‘No, Mum. What if she was on her own and confused?’

‘That’s hardly likely, is it? She’s got the whole hippy love commune around her.’

‘Humour me.’

Tash thinks for a minute, taking a sip of her drink. ‘It sounds cruel, but I’d probably put her in a home. Some of them are really nice now, and they have activities and stuff. Plus she’s quite sociable, isn’t she, so she’d enjoy chatting the other residents to death, even if they couldn’t hear her or weren’t listening. It won’t happen though. I can see those four setting up their own little retirement village, with Zimmer frames clanking along the corridors at all hours of the night when the urge takes them.’

‘Tash, I’m eating!’

She giggles. ‘You did ask. Has Luke talked about residential care for his mum? I mean, I know she has people going in and stuff, but it must still be a hell of a burden on him.’

‘I did mention it once, but he made it clear that he sees it as his duty to look after her and keep her at home for as long as he can. It’s quite touching, really.’

Tash stares into her coffee for a while before speaking again. ‘You don’t think it’s some sort of guilt trip, do you?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Maybe he feels bad about moving away to Milton Keynes, and this is all an over-the-top response to try to redeem himself. Or they could be enmeshed. Does he ever mention his father?’

‘Slow down there, agony aunt. His father left years ago, apparently. He had an affair, they got divorced and he moved to Australia. Luke doesn’t have a relationship with him.’

‘There you go then,’ she announces triumphantly.

‘Umm…’

‘It’s obvious,’ she continues, as if explaining something to a particularly dim toddler. ‘The father does the dirty and abandons them. Luke becomes the de facto man of the house and she relies on him for everything. Well, noteverything, obviously, because that would be both weird and illegal, but you know what I mean.’

‘I do worry about the places your mind takes you sometimes,’ I observe.

‘Luke starts to feel trapped,’ she continues, ignoring me. ‘How to get out from under your mother’s apron strings when there’s nobody else to help her? He decides to take radical action and moves to Milton Keynes, only it’s a disaster. She completely unravels and he’s forced to return home with his tail between his legs.’ Her eyes light up. ‘Maybe it’s all an act.’

‘What?’

‘The mother. Maybe there isn’t actually anything wrong with her at all. She’s just putting on this vulnerable act to keep him where she wants him.’

‘Hang on. In the space of, what, five minutes, we’ve gone from putting her into a home to her being some scheming Machiavelli?’

‘I’m just exploring all the angles. Although, if she were making the whole thing up, putting her into a home would be a sure-fire way to smoke her out. A week of easy-chew food and light entertainment would drive her to come clean in no time, I reckon.’

‘So you’re saying he should put her in a home as a test. If she’s genuinely vulnerable, she’ll take to it well and, if she isn’t, she’ll have to ’fess up.’

‘It’s worth a try.’

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