Page 21 of Love, Accidentally

‘It really isn’t. I think it’s nice that he wants to look after her. Lena was banging on the other day about how the younger generations look after the older ones in most cultures, and it’s got to be better than just stuffing them in a home and forgetting about them the moment they start to become mildly inconvenient. He wants to be there for her and I’m going to support him in that. Anyway, enough about me. How’s your life?’

‘Oh, peachy. Days like today are my favourites. Lucifer is in preschool for the whole day and Greg’s at work, so I can actually spend a few hours pretending that I’m a functioning independent adult.’

‘Poor Isaac.’

‘He’s all right, don’t worry about him. Did I tell you that Greg and I are talking about trying again?’

‘What, another baby?’

‘Don’t sound so surprised. People do have more than one child, and maybe we’ll get a nice one this time. It probably wouldn’t do Isaac any harm to have a brother or sister, so he learns to share.’

‘You’re sounding like Mike now.’

‘And how is Mike?’

‘Don’t change the subject. Another baby is huge news. Mum will be delighted, although she’ll probably start on at me again.’

‘We haven’t actually made it yet, and I’mdefinitelynot saying anything to Mum.’ She laughs. ‘We’re just talking about the possibility, that’s all.’

‘Lot of pressure on you, given that Greg’s hardly ever around.’

‘Didn’t I tell you? His deals came in, so he’s flavour of the month and he thinks they might promote him off the back of them.’

‘Nice. What would he be? Drug pusher in chief?’

‘He’d be the guy controlling the drug pushers. Kind of like the sinister mobster in the background. The point is he wouldn’t be travelling so much, so could spend more time with me and his evil offspring. It would be nice for Isaac to realise he has two parents. At the moment, he probably thinks I conceived him with a turkey baster.’

‘He’s three. I very much doubt he spends any time thinking about his conception.’

‘You’re right. I’m anthropomorphising him, or whatever the equivalent is for toddlers. Tell me about Mike. Is Sarah still on the scene?’

‘She is. I don’t know what her magic is, but she’s definitely got under his skin. They went away to Norfolk together last weekend. I’ve never known anyone get that level of commitment out of him before. Not since the disastrous Caroline, anyway.’

‘Maybe he’s growing up. Do you like her?’

‘I do, actually. Just as well, given the amount of time she spends at the flat.’

‘Has he talked about introducing her to his parents? That’s the biggie. Once you do that, there’s nothing between you and engagement.’

‘He hasn’t said anything to me, but then it’s not really any of my business.’

‘Nonsense. He shares everything with you. I sometimes think he’s more of a brother to you than I am a sister.’

‘Now you are talking nonsense. Probably malnutrition from whatever isn’t in your coffee.’

* * *

As I make my way home after seeing Tash, two things are playing on my mind. The first, and more minor, is the idea of her and Greg having another baby. I’m not fooled by all her satanic references – she absolutely adores Isaac – but I know she found it hard adapting to motherhood and I wonder how another baby will affect her. Maybe it’s easier second time around, although I remember how haggard she looked when Isaac was tiny and neither of them were getting much sleep. Mum and Dad would be over the moon to have another grandchild, although I’m sure Mum will use it as an excuse to start ramping up the pressure on me to get married and start a family.

Which brings me on to my principal dilemma. Tash has absolutely nailed Luke’s and my problem. Although I’m more than happy with the way things are at present and I know our situation is far from unique, I’m struggling to see where we can take the relationship from here when he’s totally at the beck and call of his mother and insists on keeping us apart. I’ve suggested a few ways we could gently introduce me to her, but while Luke may be very easy-going about most things, he’s made it abundantly clear that he’s not interested in any outside influence where she is concerned. I find myself turning Tash’s words over in my head. Is it a guilt thing? Is she manipulating him? Having not met her myself, it’s impossible to form even a vague mental picture of this woman who has such control over him. I don’t even know how old she is. I mean, if she’s relatively young and we are serious about a future together, we’re going to need to find a way around this.

I can feel my mood plummeting, and I can’t even talk to Luke to cheer myself up, as he’s on shift today. Instead, I decide to try to reframe our situation. Our relationship is still very new, I tell myself firmly. There’s no need to rush to the next stage; we should take time to enjoy what we have now. If it’s meant to be, it will happen somehow. The problem is that I really like him, and not just because it’s been a while since I was in a relationship. I liked Simon the pilot, but it was clear fairly early on that we were never going to be the love of each other’s lives; we just didn’t have enough in common. With Luke, that’s not true. He gets me, and I get him. Yes, our relationship is largely physical at present, but there’s deeper stuff going on underneath; I can feel it. Sometimes, when he looks at me in that intense way he has, it’s like he can see right into the core of my being. It’s a little uncomfortable, but also thrilling.

My phone pings with a message in my pocket, and I pull it out to see that it’s from Luke. That’s the kind of thing I mean. It’s almost like he knew I was thinking about him.

How was coffee with your sister? Miss you. Dr Patel on top form today. She told a rugby injury that he might like to consider a sport that didn’t involve playing Russian Roulette with his bones xx

I smile as I read it, before typing out a reply.

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